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Tips on dealing with bullies

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Dec 2013
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    Sai Kung
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    Tips on dealing with bullies

    Someone I work with is being bullied by the boss. He's Chinese (Malaysian) and an owner of the company and she's Chinese (Australian). Any suggestions for what to do? She does not want to leave the company as she enjoys the rest of the work.


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jun 2011
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    438

    Give examples of the "bullying"?

    Standard millennial moaning about the "boss telling me what to do" or a wet willie at the coffee machine kinda bullying?


  3. #3

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    Shouting at her. Sending abusive emails and WhatsApp messages saying thing like "you will never be any good at this". Criticism of just about everything, including the type of bag she carried to a meeting. She is quite senior so is unused to this kind of thing.


  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kfay
    Shouting at her. Sending abusive emails and WhatsApp messages saying thing like "you will never be any good at this". Criticism of just about everything, including the type of bag she carried to a meeting. She is quite senior so is unused to this kind of thing.
    I struggle to see how somebody quite senior would think the best way to deal with a workplace bully would be to go on Geoxpat for advice... Anyway, "abusive emails" - take them to HR to make a formal complaint...
    MandM! likes this.

  5. #5

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    Unfortunately this is just one side of the story again. Maybe she isn't up to the senior position she has and the owner has high expectations of her which she has failed to reach. Perhaps she turned up to a meeting with a bag that didn't project a professional image.


  6. #6

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    Is the bully the sole owner? If thats the case, best that your friend walk away. If not, best to approach a partner, preferably if she knows who has the most weight and tell them her story.

    After that ... well, its the owner's collective responsibility that their assets and investments (which includes employees) are managed correctly.

    By the way, I did see a school kid this morning carrying a bag that said "I hate mondays" - had a good laugh, but I can see how that would go down if you were a pilot or a doctor walking into work with that bag.

    Have a GeoExpat related problem - please create a support ticket.

  7. #7

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    Dec 2018
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    If she's not happy there, she should dust off her CV and take her skill set elsewhere. There's no milage in picking a fight with an owner of the business which employees you.

    UK/HKboy, shri, MandM! and 1 others like this.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Jan 2013
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    Interesting. Seems to be a tactic to get rid of your friend. Why stay? That's the owner and this would be hard to prove unless she records everything. She can file a complaint to HR, since he really isn't bullying by discrimination (sex, age, etc). Just straight up bullying would probably be a company matter unless it turns physical. Not saying it's any better, just seems the law is that way. Keep all the documentation, and if nothing happens maybe find a lawyer who will take her case. Or just find a new job.


  9. #9

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    Agreed, you can not change the owner. Either learn to deal with it or move on.

    TigerSun likes this.

  10. #10

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    Interesting. I have a similar issue with someone in our Singapore office who has approach me (joint owner) for help dealing with one of the other owners. It's really hard to know what to do. On the one hand, the other partner says this person is just no good at their job. On the other hand, the person says they are being bullied. We have no HR and are so small that this kind of clash is very hard to resolve - there is no "other department" to move anyone to. Can't fire a joint owner. So how can I make one of my peers behave better?


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