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Etiquette at work : Is physical contact rude?

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  1. #21

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    Getting too close is one thing...touching is quite another.

    I'm sensing a double standard here because the "offender" is female.

    Would everyone just say "it is a cultural thing, deal with it".....if the boss was a man groping a women?


  2. #22

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    Actually come to think of it, there was ONE time that I witnessed a physical touching in a business environment. A lady representing her zipper company tried to shake hands with another lady representing a company that is suing them for defects; that lady grabbed the zipper lady's hand and flung it away saying "don't touch me, I don't know you.". You could try that if she continues to do it even after telling her not to


  3. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by closedcasket:
    Getting too close is one thing...touching is quite another.

    I'm sensing a double standard here because the "offender" is female.

    Would everyone just say "it is a cultural thing, deal with it".....if the boss was a man groping a women?
    oh, come on! the OP said nothing about "groping"! s/he said that the offender puts her hand on his arm/shoulder....

  4. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by carang:
    oh, come on! the OP said nothing about "groping"! s/he said that the offender puts her hand on his arm/shoulder....
    Touching in a manner that makes another employee uncomfortable..ok?

    Would it be ok for a male boss to touch a female employee in a way that makes her uncomfortable?

    It doesn't matter what culture you are from, there should be a clear line drawn at the work place....no unwanted touching.
    Last edited by closedcasket; 13-05-2013 at 02:02 PM.

  5. #25

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    you didn't say "touching" you said "groping"... in my mind there is a huge difference.

    if the OP is uncomfortable, just say it to the person in question. what is the big deal?


  6. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by carang:
    you didn't say "touching" you said "groping"... in my mind there is a huge difference.

    if the OP is uncomfortable, just say it to the person in question. what is the big deal?
    If the OP is uncomfortable?? It seems fairly obvious if you read his post that he is. And to me, that is enough to say his boss should stop. No one should have to endure unwanted touching at work ( office jobs)

  7. #27

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    wow, 3 pages on nearly a non-existent problem. Just keep a box of facemasks at your desk, and sneeze loudly as she approaches. Next.

    INXS, elle, carang and 3 others like this.

  8. #28

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    Quote Originally Posted by Outintotheworld:
    Hi there,

    I am originally from the UK and physical contact at work is very rare as it's considered to invade someone's personal space. I assumed that etiquette would be similar in Hong Kong. However, one of my Asian colleagues has developed a rather nerve wrecking technique of getting my attention.

    This has happened several times and from a UK perspective, it's an incredibly rude gesture.

    Ignoring/resisting her pressure only makes it worse, as she puts her hand on my shoulder, which I can only escape with a shrug or an excuse for standing up.

    It's a very annoying habit ...

    Has anyone experienced this kind of behaviour at work in Hong Kong? Does anyone have any advice on how I can get my colleague to stop this behaviour without offending her?

    Thanks a lot for your help.
    Agreed it is rude behaviour of the individual. I have not had this happen to me. This is not a cultural issue, but rather an issue with the individual in question. If you have a side chair, just tell her to sit there and wait till you are finished with what you are working on. Set the boundaries clearly and I am sure she will respect that. She is probably a mindless person that doesn't realise that it bothers you. Let her know polictely but firmly, always seems to work. If not, go aggro and throw her computer on the floor next time (just kidding).
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  9. #29

    seems younger generations tend to get more physical than older generations.


  10. #30

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    My observation is that touching in work or open social environments here seems to be a more acceptable way of getting someone's attention than saying the person's name. Physical space is more "public" than a name.

    Names are considered VERY personal here, particularly by older generation - if you speak Canto, you'll notice that locals even call their spouse "Husband" or "Wife" rather than by their name publicly. I've been told that using a (Chinese) given name among strangers is a bit like waving their underwear around.

    OP, ask your boss to adopt the Chinese custom of addressing you by your work title (manager/ secretary/ technician/ teacher) rather than touching you to get your attention. That's the way it's done around here.

    Sort of apropos, an amusing experience from yesterday was watching two middle-aged men, previously strangers to each other, both with their wives and in an informal social setting, discovering they came from the same ancestral region. They immediately sat down on adjacent chairs and reached the closer hand across to grab - and hold - the other's thigh. Quite a normal, and totally non-sexual gesture of friendship for the demographic. But the look on the faces of a couple of non-enculturated expat ladies was priceless

    carang likes this.