Like Tree141Likes

Following your passion in HK, naive fantasy or brave move?

Closed Thread
Page 4 of 14 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 12 ... LastLast
  1. #31

    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    1,880
    Quote Originally Posted by MovingIn07:
    Your children are not a retirement plan. They are individuals with their own lives to live. It sounds to me like you are the selfish one, to put your needs above a child's potential happiness.
    It is a very difficult cycle to break though. Someone who has experienced the pressure of their parents grooming them in childhood to look after them in parenthood will in all likelihood reciprocate the process.

    Every so often, the cycle will be broken by an altogether altruistic individual who is under their parents' emotional clutches but also lets their child live their own lives.

    I wouldn't vilify Triggerboy too much. As much as we all would say we would do differently, I can understand why he/she is the way he/she is. It doesn't make it right, but it makes it understandable.
    mid_gen and cookie09 like this.

  2. #32

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Gold Coast Marina
    Posts
    17,934
    Quote Originally Posted by Triggerboy:
    So you'll be happy to see your kid become a failure despite all the investment you made on him. Bus drivers aren't a respected profession because it is a DEAD-END job. Ask any bus-driver and they will tell you that if they had made better choices in their youth (i.e get a better education etc), they would NOT have become vus drivers.

    This is why you Western countries are going down. And you have to come to the East to make money. Your values and morals are all warped. You can't tell right from wrong.
    If I had a kid, I'd be happy for them to do what they want. I think that is a difference between East and Western thinking.

    Having said that, I do have a little sympathy for some of your views that the west is a failure. Yes, I do think that many aspects of the West are unhelpful and selfish, but this is certainly not one of them. Consumerism, hero-worship of Hollywood/pop-stars, agression towards other states, lack of community ... all of those are aspects of the West I would change if I could. But forcing children into careers they are not happy with? Lunacy.

    I have some experience with this. My parents didn't want me to do what I did. You would not understand it, because with them, it was quite the reverse. When I was choosing school options at 16, my Mum insisted I learn typing because then "you can always get a good job as a secretary". (who knew, back then, that touch typing would be so handy in this computer age!). When I got accepted into Cambridge University, my mother said "why don't you go somewhere less snobbish and nearer home"? When I got promoted to be more senior than my husband she said "you'll lose him, you know, if you earn more money than him!". He now works for me.

    All of which was twaddle and all of which I ignored. Paid my own way through university because they would not support me. But my sister is a receptionist in an optician and I don't think either me or my parents see her as any "less" than me. My sisters husband was a refuse collector (he now manages a waste management firm) - certainly not high brow - but none of our family cares about that.

    If my parents ask for help when they are old, I'll consider helping them. But they won't ask. That would be wrong, in their eyes (and mine). My sister has asked for help from time to time and I have helped her out - but again - she hates asking. In the West we believe in INDIVIDUAL responsibility. To make your own choices, and to live with those choices. Nobody owes me a living and I don't owe anyone else support. Individual responsibility can result in selfishness, for sure, but on balance I would rather individuals take responsibility for their actions than get the HK clones who cannot make a decision to save their lives!
    Gruntfuttock and Lootoo like this.

  3. #33
    Quote Originally Posted by Watercooler:
    Whoa there, where did I suggest expats are "high and mighty"? (And I am only speaking on behalf of myself, not the expat community in HK.).

    Look, I understand parents work hard to make sure their kids get a good education so they can get a bright future. The problem I have is that, you don't seem to get the point that there is more than one path to success. Bill Gates was a college drop-out, so was Steve Jobs. Yet both became enormously successful. What I'm trying to say is that there is no one defined path to fame and glory, each person will take their own differentho paths to it. This is something Hong Kong parents do not understand.

    Likewise, I don't think HK is that small and impoverished fishing village 150 years ago. It is a modern metropolis. As a modern city, don't you think it's citizens should be able to do with they want with their careers (so long as it is not a criminal career ) and not be dictated to by the rest of society? Unless you are saying Hong Kong is really not that modern?
    You are not making alot of sense. Hk is not the West. There are not that many avenues for success outside the normal path. There is no really major sport leagues to become a rich athlete. (i.e. Beckham or LeBron James) nor do we have time to waste over non-productive things (the arts). The only thing that can guarantee sucess is hard work in a proper field, like business or profession. That is the real world in Hong Kong.

  4. #34

    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    457

    Oh crap you're a woman?! Not that it matters, but I thought you were a man all along.


  5. #35

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Gold Coast Marina
    Posts
    17,934
    Quote Originally Posted by joyojc:
    Oh crap you're a woman?! Not that it matters, but I thought you were a man all along.
    Who?

    10ch

  6. #36

    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    457

    Here are a couple of things that the East and West have in common:

    - keeping up with the Joneses: "oh look, they just got an Escalade, let's get an equity loan and get one too!" and "Mrs. Lau's son next door is a lawyer and bought her a BEN-C and a flat, where's mine?"

    - being rich = success.

    chris_yang22 likes this.

  7. #37

    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    457
    Quote Originally Posted by MovingIn07:
    Who?

    10ch
    You! lol

    10char

  8. #38

    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    14,414

    Triggerboy

    What Job do you do now? And what did your father do?


  9. #39

    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    5,110
    Quote Originally Posted by closedcasket:
    A lot of people do well at jobs they don't like. I'm suggesting it is possible the guy couldn't handle or didn't like the pressure. And rather than lose face and seem like a baby....he claims that his life long dream is to drive a bus. Finance jobs can burn people out rather quickly....

    Do you really believe it is someone's dream to drive a bus...in Hong Kong?
    Well if I understand locals correctly, if he was worried about losing face, he would have quit quietly and then look for another job that can still pay decently. He would not be so public about it, and he certainly won't go for a bus driver job.
    Last edited by Watercooler; 27-05-2013 at 03:50 PM.

  10. #40

    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    7,441
    Quote Originally Posted by Triggerboy:
    Many locals nowadays do not "force" their kids to become only "doctors" or "lawyers" only. We accept there is now wider career choices.
    Quote Originally Posted by Triggerboy:
    That's why we try to prepare them the best they can, and frankly, this Gary Leung is a disgrace to Hong Kong. A complete waste of his talent and ability.
    Quote Originally Posted by Triggerboy:
    There is no contradiction. He can be a banker, architect, maybe even those tutors. But no way will I allow my own kid who I pore so much of my money on, to be some bus driver, a job that is look-down upon by the rest of society.
    Don't you see the contradiction in your posts?

    Let me spell it out for you, you are happy for your child to choose their profession as long as it's a list of chosen professions.

    Unfortunately there is alot less options if you chose to have a lowly paid job in HK, not a huge backup on retirement. I suppose goes part of the way being a part of a low tax society.

    Anyway I am half with you on this. I won't be happy at all that my son chose to be a bus driver either. But I am not with you on you have to choose his life choices just so you can have a retirement plan.
    climber07 likes this.

Closed Thread
Page 4 of 14 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 12 ... LastLast