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Employers obsessively ask your marital status during a job interview

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  1. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by SirNotAppearing:
    The only way to properly answer your question is to tell us your marital status.
    I'm a polygomous cult follower who has 12 wives, OK?
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  2. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by HK_Katherine:
    I ask this kind of question. It's highly relevant to know the kind of commitments a person has and whether they need larger relocation package and many other costs. I LOVE that HK has not enacted ordinances prohibiting such sensible questions. It's also key to getting to know the person, which is after all the point of the interview. Anyone refusing to answer I would reject outright as they clearly have something to hide or are officious pricks that I don't want working in my company. As for making a complaint... Way to get yourself blacklisted or what. Don't apply to my company.
    I'm really anti this. As a mid 30s woman who has recently got married, if this came up in an interview top of a potential employer's mind might be the potential for that woman to take maternity leave and questioning her commitment to the role if she had young children at home. Until such time as men share paternity leave in full with women (which I am all for), then this question should be avoided.

    The only time I think a question related to family status might be relevant is if you are interviewing an overseas candidate and relocation of the family would be needed. Even then, I don't think it needs to be a question, more of an education - e.g. the interviewer could say "if you have a husband / wife and / or children you need to consider the cost of living in HK, apartment sizes, school fees, if your partner could work etc." Or it could be a frank discussion that takes place after an offer has been made.

    It would be lovely if you could make this kind of conversation / small talk in an interview and for it to just be getting to know one another, but sadly discrimination does still exist. Avoiding this type of question helps to tackle it. It's not political correctness, it's helping to guide companies towards a more diverse culture.

    To the OP - I wouldn't make a complaint, but I would feed back to the employer that you felt their questioning inappropriate and explain why.

  3. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by musclemania:
    I'm a polygomous cult follower who has 12 wives, OK?
    I would definitely not give you the job, anyone with 12 wives is clearly not good at making rational decisions . Shit that means 12 mother-in-laws as well!

  4. #24

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    I think the blacklist comment is a bit farfetched. Yes it is a small town and word gets around but probably don't have to worry too much about it especially for most roles. I think I'd be more worried if I was MD of a bank and got sacked, that's easy to know and takes a long time to get back in the same level, if at all possible.

    I don't think these questions have ever hit me directly. Usually employers want to understand why are you in HK, especially if you are a foreigner. It's a curiosity and frankly if you can't handle a friendly convo with your future boss then this isn't going to work out. Plus interviews are not really about your skills, rather more about your communication, presentation (physically) and likeableness.

    As a prospective employee, you can control what questions are asked. When the hint of a personal tidbit comes, give your speel about why you are here. Where are you from, what other cities did you live in, why did you come to HK, for long how for, any family, etc. End the topic with how you love HK, then the personal questions usually come to an end. Interview moves on.

    I definitely don't think these questions have anything to do with commitment and long hours -- I don't think it would affect your chances at the role either. I find this is a great opportunity to let employers know of your comittments so they are respectful of your after hours and weekend work schedules too. You can get more benefits this way as it is understood it is part of your conditions of employment -- I see it as a plus! As long as your story adds up, you'll be ok.

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  5. #25

    They ask me those things because I am a woman (cult follower with 12 wives is my wild fantasy!).
    As Beaniekis noted, employers are concerned about female employees' commitment to the job.

    I did not know this could be the issue in HK but reality bites everywhere.
    This is not the first time I got grilled in the interview. Several employers asked me same things. Some of them asked carefully but others didn't bother to paraphrase them to make me feel comfortable.

    Surprisingly, this global tech giant and their accomplice asked me in the worst manner!
    It is so funny they are worried about questionable commitment from female candidate because it is about 1 year contract position!

    They don't know how to slow down the pace when walking all over people.

    I thank all of you for your replies. In HK, you often feel small in comparison with giant corporations.

    Let’s not get too small.

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  6. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beanieskis:
    I'm really anti this.
    Its time for you to tell them F@@K OFF

    https://www.facebook.com/BBCRadio6Mu...7517055357458/
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  7. #27

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    Everyone's looking into this a little too deep, dont you think? Sure, there are those (extreme) ones who may take offence at such questions, and there are those which will brush it off as "small talk" or just trying to get to know their prospective hire a little better.

    Nevertheless, I would personally not read into it too much with HR policies and discriminations/human rights breached/invoke international humanitarian what nots.

    If you dont like it but also dont wanna be rude, hey, do what I would do by telling them what (i think) they may wanna hear: yes, happily married to my wife who is also my high school sweetheart, two young kids aged 2 and 3, perfect lil family etc etc.

    If you get the job, just tell them you got divorced (if u were single and lied) so its back to square one for you. end of story!

    live a little. life is too short to be so PC and sensitive

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  8. #28

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    Quote Originally Posted by musclemania:
    They ask me those things because I am a woman (cult follower with 12 wives is my wild fantasy!).
    As Beaniekis noted, employers are concerned about female employees' commitment to the job.

    I did not know this could be the issue in HK but reality bites everywhere.
    This is not the first time I got grilled in the interview. Several employers asked me same things. Some of them asked carefully but others didn't bother to paraphrase them to make me feel comfortable.

    Surprisingly, this global tech giant and their accomplice asked me in the worst manner!
    It is so funny they are worried about questionable commitment from female candidate because it is about 1 year contract position!

    They don't know how to slow down the pace when walking all over people.

    I thank all of you for your replies. In HK, you often feel small in comparison with giant corporations.

    Let’s not get too small.
    Unless they're really just "curious", there's typically a reason for these questions - usually because of a bad previous hiring experience, such as:
    • Employee leaving HK part way through a 1 year contract (often to be with boyfriend/girlfriend)
    • Going on maternity leave shortly after starting a job
    • Not showing up for the job or resigning in the first month

    All situations I've seen in HK...

    Just accept that people will ask (it clearly isn't an isolated case) and come up with a answer for it that allows the interviewer to report back positively.
    tpr007 likes this.

  9. #29
    Quote Originally Posted by JHCH:
    Life is too short to be so PC and sensitive
    100% behind this. While we are on the topic of PC culture, I work with a few very sensitive women, although I'm pretty sure "Feminazi" is more apt and the amount of vitriol and contempt they spew on a daily basis is palpable. Brave is the man who dares look at them for their piercing gaze is enough to make children cry.

    I have met a few lovely feminists in my time who make their arguments with grace and eloquence and certainly without the need for disdain. I've never seen the sheer disgust for men as I have done with the women I work with though. Overweight, single, one of western descent, the other two are local Hong Kongers who grew up abroad.

    I wonder if they body swapped with a model who gets infinitely more benefits in society, would they change their tune? Probably not. We deal with the cards we are dealt.
    Last edited by periphery831; 10-02-2018 at 01:36 AM.
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  10. #30

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    Quote Originally Posted by periphery831:
    100% behind this. While we are on the topic of PC culture, I work with a few very sensitive women, although I'm pretty sure "Feminazi" is more apt and the amount of vitriol and contempt they spew on a daily basis is palpable. Brave is the man who dares look at them for their piercing gaze is enough to make children cry.

    I have met a few lovely feminists in my time who make their arguments with grace and eloquence and certainly without the need for disdain. I've never seen the sheer disgust for men as I have done with the women I work with though. Overweight, single, one of western descent, the other two are local Hong Kongers who grew up abroad.

    I wonder if they body swapped with a model who gets infinitely more benefits in society, would they change their tune? Probably not. We deal with the cards we are dealt.
    Amen to that.
    tpr007 likes this.

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