Protecting myself against coworker's accusations

[markranson]

You summed it up here:
"I have this feeling that as I am in a lower position than her she will not listen to anything that I say and I must keep to my rank. To me it feels like I am watching a car crash happening in slow motion. My attempts to stop it is being thwarted. "
Like many people who perceive that they have the advantage of seniority, your CW has a problem with controlling her ego. She lacks humility and the ability or desire to cooperate with other members of the team in order to maintain an amicable working environment. People like this are often deeply damaged having problems with self-worth that need to be assuaged by abusing others in order to feel more powerful.
Your situation is exacerbated by an apparently ineffectual manager/boss who either lacks the insight to see what is happening and/or the leadership ability and moral courage to do something about it. Since you're not in a position to effect change, it would seem that an exit strategy of some form is required for the sake of your own sanity.

[tiredworkers]

You summed it up here:
"I have this feeling that as I am in a lower position than her she will not listen to anything that I say and I must keep to my rank. To me it feels like I am watching a car crash happening in slow motion. My attempts to stop it is being thwarted. "
Like many people who perceive that they have the advantage of seniority, your CW has a problem with controlling her ego. She lacks humility and the ability or desire to cooperate with other members of the team in order to maintain an amicable working environment. People like this are often deeply damaged having problems with self-worth that need to be assuaged by abusing others in order to feel more powerful.
Your situation is exacerbated by an apparently ineffectual manager/boss who either lacks the insight to see what is happening and/or the leadership ability and moral courage to do something about it. Since you're not in a position to effect change, it would seem that an exit strategy of some form is required for the sake of your own sanity.

Yes... i have decided not to dwell on this issue too much right now. I will do what I'm told to do, act neutral in the face of accusations and ensure to gather hard evidence to protect myself from any further troubles. I am feeling much, much less stressed after consulting multiple people about my problems and the common consensus seems to be that the people I work with are not great. I will stay long enough to finish my contract (1 year) and gain enough skills and experience to leave for another job or perhaps pursue further education.

Thank you all for you kind messages and reality checks. I'm slowly beginning to understand what work culture in Hong Kong is like.

Also, for those of you who asked, I am Japanese but was born and raised here.

[shri]

The good thing is you can work here without any visa restrictions - this gives you a lot of flexibility which many expats do not have.

Best of luck .. do update this thread as things change.

[answerer]

Sounds like she perceives you as a threat that one day will take over her position.

There are a few potential things that might be at play here:

• -Your mistakes are making her look bad - If you're in a team and if she's the senior, the boss is likely expecting her to make sure that you're doing things right and may be blaming CW for the mistakes.
• -Culture clash - She sees you as the "new kid" who wants to try shake everything up and point out what's wrong
• -Perceived "Lack of respect" - in most Asian countries, you pay significant respect to your seniors - even if they're wrong
• -She sees you as a threat - you're younger, work faster and probably have better English skills. And then you overhaul her work and try to take over the assignments.
• -She's being racist - China and Japan don't exactly have a great history of working together...

Your boss is unlikely to try to support the new hire (you), unless he really wants to kick out CW. So your options are:

Adapt to the culture - This isn't just HK culture - it's the same in most places around the world.. Don't add to the image of I'm a hotshot trying to prove that I'm better than everyone". Politely suggest improvements (e.g. avoid "completely reworking" anything), double-check that things are ok to send, etc.

Find a startup with other people your age - The environment will be more like what you're used to from university

[answerer]

Yes... i have decided not to dwell on this issue too much right now. I will do what I'm told to do, act neutral in the face of accusations and ensure to gather hard evidence to protect myself from any further troubles.

For a real reality check, I suggest you also think about whether there are areas you can improve.

For items 1-3, if I had a junior come to be complaining about a senior about those items, my question would be "Well, is what CW says factually correct? Is there something you could have done differently to avoid such things from happening?"

I wouldn't bother spending time gathering evidence - what do you think it will achieve?

[GeorgeR]

Good Luck. I wouldn't retaliate though or do something stupid, your reputation is pretty important. I'd agree with what a lot of people have said - document everything. Make a log, at the very least if you are ever called to defend yourself or to give an explanation for anything, you have everything there and you will know it off by heart. If it comes to it, you will be able to talk confidently around everything that has happened etc, whilst this nightmare co-worker will not, be caught out in lies.

[markranson]

Dear tiredworkers,
A lot of people have chipped in with their advice here and some of it is very sound while other bits reflect more on the attitudes of the "advisers" and their lack of understanding of leadership and the role of a mentor while they offer opinions on how to behave in a dysfunctional workplace that they perceive to be normal. The fact that some people believe that a dysfunctional workplace should be accepted as normal is sad. Such attitudes allow dysfunctional sociopaths to progress while more decent people are walked over and kept down.
If what you describe is the true situation (and that's between you and your conscience), then you're in a shitty position and should try to extricate yourself as soon as possible. best of luck.

[Bernadette J W]

I thought I had been banned from the site for standing up for myself but surprisingly I am allowed back on!

My advice is to document everything like others have suggested as I do. I tend to write/type up conversations while having them in front of people and then email our discussion to them later. Of course, it is better to have a witness. I am not sure if recording is really allowed but it will help you remember what was said. Alternatively, you can ask to record the conversation.

This type of situation happens in many workplaces around the world. The best thing is learn to be assertive. If you work in a university, there are complaint mechanisms and you can contact the Personnel Office. Personally, she sounds like a bully and I would always stand up to them.

Some co-workers try to make others’ lives miserable. Do not let them do it. I never expect anyone to support me as others are usually either too afraid of the consequences, or do not care.

I would take working there as a challenge, and a learning experience. I have found that in general some people like to put others down so they can put themselves up. This happens everywhere including on this site in my experience.

Do not let one person ruin your day. Trying to change your attitude to the situation might be the way to go.

Good luck.

[paulwall88]

CW clearly doesn't like you and M is just in it for the pay cheque

Get the hell out of there.

If you stay, you need to stand out for the right reasons, show everyone you're capable and can put up with CW's BS

[East_coast]

Have you had a chat with your manager about your up-tightness and your perception that your colleague is out to 'get you'?