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How should I deal with discrimination from my boss?

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  1. #1

    Exclamation How should I deal with discrimination from my boss?

    Hi all.

    I wanted to share my experience and to get some insight on how I should deal with these situations going forward.

    So I was born in Hong Kong but migrated with my parents back when I was a child. I recently moved back to the city for employment.

    I started the job I have right now in about half a year ago. The working environment and my colleagues are quite nice.

    I always tries my best to speak Cantonese but I don't always understand what others are saying. And they were always nice enough to teach me.

    Fast forwarding to New Year's Eve, our company had a little happy hour after work.

    When I walked in my boss was commenting on how one of my female colleagues should tie the knot with her boyfriend when she is still young enough, and that nobody would want her when she is all winkley and old. (She is under 30). Everyone around was laughing hysterically and I wasn't too sure on how to react.

    He continued on for another hour saying how girls should not work, and should all just stay at home to support their spouse. He added in a lot of jokes about how we girls should all just ask our boyfriends/ spouses for designer bags or accessories and be happy with our lives instead of pursuing career goals.

    Everyone was still laughing at this point and I was absolutely astonished by how offensive this is getting. It was getting late and I couldn't hold a fake smile any more and decided to leave with another two of my colleagues.

    So as we left, my colleagues all wished others "Happy New Year" in English. When it got to my turn I did the same. And my boss started mimicking me and yelled "speak Chinese" loudly in English.

    I was just shocked and I let out the words "I could, but..." Then some other part in me stopped myself. I smiled and just walked away.

    I wished I could have dealed with this better. I don't want to quit the job simply because of this. I hope it doesn't happen to any of us but I am getting this is the norm for working in Hong Kong.

    So I wanted to ask if any of you have the same experience or how should I deal with this in the future.


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    162

    Your boss sounds like a jerk and possibly drunk. Let it go or start job hunting.

    I think you dealt with it well by leaving.

    gardabble, BCD, ramelec and 4 others like this.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    May 2011
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    181

    This isn’t discrimination, this a a drunken rant by your asshole boss at a work function. Report it to HR.


  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jun 2016
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    You have to develop thicker skin. Laugh it off like the other women did. This is HK and you won't have much success with discrimination claim. More likely you will be blacklisted in your industry as the "gweimoi" causing trouble.

    Sage likes this.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    He was most likely drunk thus all his filters were removed.

    Is he like that at work etc too?

    Personally I’d log everything including witnesses etc but sit on it and see if something similar happens again.

    Unfortunately the age old comments about getting married before 30 are all too common these days from old school neanderthals which your boss probably is.

    Coolboy, BCD and rs4 like this.

  6. #6

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    Based on my own working experience in HK, sad to say sexual harassment in terms of inappropriate language and treatment by local (and I should add, also some expat) bosses still occur far too frequently than acceptable. Thankfully as a guy, I was not on the receiving end of such conduct, but I have observed more than a few occasions inappropriate conduct or discussion about female colleagues. While women today are an essential and integral part of the workforce of the city, HK work culture in regards to how it view female co-workers still has much room for improvement.

    Last edited by Coolboy; 01-01-2021 at 01:47 PM.
    calisg408 likes this.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by RMDNC:
    You have to develop thicker skin. Laugh it off like the other women did. This is HK and you won't have much success with discrimination claim. More likely you will be blacklisted in your industry as the "gweimoi" causing trouble.
    From a pragmatic standpoint I agree. Words spread around fast in certain industries about "troublemaker" employees. BUT...that being said, at some point, someone has to stand up and say no, this is not acceptable behaviour. Otherwise the problem won't be solved.
    jimbo, hullexile, RMDNC and 1 others like this.

  8. #8

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    It does seem like the ramblings on a drunk person. I don't agree that you should develop a thick skin, that's what neanderthals say when balking about change. That being said, action have consequences and HK is still quite backward in regards to acknowledging new realities. You could try to discreetly see what others thought about the interactions to see if you have some support, you could go to HR, you could privately confront the idiot if that's within your comfort zone(that could be done by email). Personally, I'd love to see his cage rattled a bit but it could be at the expense of your job and references. Alternatively, you keep it on ice, gather evidence of more, look for another job and when you have secured employment, unleash hell on the moron. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

    bbchris likes this.

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jan 2018
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    I remember working at IBM TJ Watson Research Center in 1985 (main research center, mostly intelligent people) being asked, in all sincerity, by a technician why I was bothering to go to college because I would just get married and quit the workforce after having a baby. He truly wondered why I was going through all this extra work for just a couple of years of a good job.

    People like that, you can try to educate, others, not so much. In this case, if he is not a jerk on the job, then he might be deliberately provoking you with outrageous statements. However, if it really is a discriminatory environment, do your time (enough to make your resume look good) and then find somewhere else as there are some jerks who aren't going to change.

    mrgoodkat and drumbrake like this.

  10. #10

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    Feb 2019
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    Do you feel comfortable mentioning which industry you are in?

    We have a varied representation on this forum, please help us to hunt out the bad apples in our chosen paths


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