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Should we stay or go?

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  1. #11

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    6,235

    Go.

    The EU has proper seasons!

    You can have a better garden with decent soil in the EU.

    You will come back to HK every 3 years anyway, so why not take the out now?

    Elegiaque likes this.

  2. #12

    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    6,281

    I envy you and wish I could just pack up and leave as well.

    Elegiaque likes this.

  3. #13

    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    薄扶林
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    43,329

    You've in an enviable position where you're relatively free of any major emotional or financial attachments to this place.

    If the opportunity out there is once in a lifetime - you owe to yourself to give it a try. If it does not work out you can always come back, as long as it does not mess up your partner's plans significantly. As long as you can convince yourself this is not change just for the sake of the grass being greener on the other side.

    Bonus - if your partner can continue what he's doing at the new location AND you can sort of get back to where you left professionally if you come back and both of you don't take a major financial hit with moving and moving back in say 2 years if things don't workout as planned / expected.

    Mrs. Jones likes this.

  4. #14

    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    503

    Sounds like you want to stay, so my suggestion is to just go! LOL(you can always come back)


  5. #15

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    6,267

    Lots of good advice, thank you. Helpful to have these insights and reminders.

    To be honest, when this possibility suddenly crept up a few weeks ago, I was a bit upset as I was just getting comfortable with my new job. Now, I feel pretty set on going.

    It's not so much a risk for him as it is for me. In fact, it would be more security for him to stick with this corporate job another few years instead of totally quitting and working on his own trading project (=very risky). It would possibly mess up my career now that I've become a bit settled (granted, not with a very secure contract). I think I would regret, though, not going. I'm not sure we'll have another chance to go to this specific place, which does require special visas we don't have access to otherwise (must be pretty obvious now where I'm talking about...).

    We do generally thrive off adventure and exploring new(ish) places, although we're getting older and our cats make movement a bit more difficult. I don't think a move back to HK in a few years would break out bank, but I may not be able to secure again a job like I have now which can support us. But I do think living life is more important than working.
    @shri I hope I never take for granted the immense privilege we have, financially and with freedom of movement. I feel an obligation to help Hong Kongers regardless of where I am, but that has become very difficult. Being in one of the world's most privileged countries may be an opportunity to campaign for causes in Asia, but I am unsure how I could go about that.

    If this had happened in 2019 or early 2020 before I got this new job, we'd have packed our bags already... We can't forget too easily how apprehensive life was in HK over the past couple of years. I think that unease will return, I just don't know when.


  6. #16

    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    7,476
    Quote Originally Posted by Elegiaque:
    Lots of good advice, thank you. Helpful to have these insights and reminders.

    To be honest, when this possibility suddenly crept up a few weeks ago, I was a bit upset as I was just getting comfortable with my new job. Now, I feel pretty set on going.

    It's not so much a risk for him as it is for me. In fact, it would be more security for him to stick with this corporate job another few years instead of totally quitting and working on his own trading project (=very risky). It would possibly mess up my career now that I've become a bit settled (granted, not with a very secure contract). I think I would regret, though, not going. I'm not sure we'll have another chance to go to this specific place, which does require special visas we don't have access to otherwise (must be pretty obvious now where I'm talking about...).

    We do generally thrive off adventure and exploring new(ish) places, although we're getting older and our cats make movement a bit more difficult. I don't think a move back to HK in a few years would break out bank, but I may not be able to secure again a job like I have now which can support us. But I do think living life is more important than working.
    @shri I hope I never take for granted the immense privilege we have, financially and with freedom of movement. I feel an obligation to help Hong Kongers regardless of where I am, but that has become very difficult. Being in one of the world's most privileged countries may be an opportunity to campaign for causes in Asia, but I am unsure how I could go about that.

    If this had happened in 2019 or early 2020 before I got this new job, we'd have packed our bags already... We can't forget too easily how apprehensive life was in HK over the past couple of years. I think that unease will return, I just don't know when.
    It can certainly be a tough decision, but when you boil it down it comes down to three things basically:

    a) Are you happier living at that new place or in HK?
    b) If it is that new place, are you willing to give up the pay and job security of your current job in HK?
    c) If yes, are you willing to let go of the things you like in HK? If yes go, If no, then what do you value more in the end, that new place or the things you enjoy in HK? If it is the new place, then go. If not, stay in HK.

  7. #17

    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    薄扶林
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    43,329
    Being in one of the world's most privileged countries may be an opportunity to campaign for causes in Asia, but I am unsure how I could go about that.
    Not worry about HK and your ability to help. Once you take care of yourself, you'll be in a better position to help in new and old ways.

    (Think of this as the same thing on airplanes - put on your oxygen mask before you help kids and others..)

  8. #18

    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    12,060

    Make a decision. Agree it with partner. Don't tell anyone else. Sleep on it. If you sleep well, implement it. If you toss and turn all night, revisit in the morning. Your subconscious knows what is best, you just have to find a way to access it.


  9. #19

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    6,267
    Quote Originally Posted by HK_Katherine:
    Make a decision. Agree it with partner. Don't tell anyone else. Sleep on it. If you sleep well, implement it. If you toss and turn all night, revisit in the morning. Your subconscious knows what is best, you just have to find a way to access it.
    Ok, we'll try.

    One issue is I'm just too damn curious. Staying here does not tickle my curiosity. Going does.
    Tadashi and rkenia852 like this.

  10. #20

    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Location
    Silver Coast
    Posts
    782

    I can't know it will be the same for you... I have taken a significant pay-cut but it's almost hard for me to describe how much mine and in particular my children's quality of life has improved...

    Take our apartment... it's not as simple as price, space and facilities... there's no overcrowding, there's no noise...

    Take the streets with their cycle paths and the no passing within 1.5 metre law...

    Take the 1 Euro coffees... again, no queuing, no noise... proper service...

    Take the parks that are miles of cut grass, skate parks and other high quality sporting facilities that don't have fences around them and some white shirted jobs-worth bothering you with rules.

    Take the history, the castles, the architecture...

    There's a tonne of kind of intangible things that I can't really put a price on... the air, the dry heat...

    I hate to say this... but I can speak more Spanish after 3 months than I could Canto. after 10 years, and I could speak quite a bit of Canto.

    We've moved to Portugal now... man, last Sunday we had roast dinner under a Moorish Castle... 11 Euro and it was lovely... great service, nice cool breeze, wife had a lovely glass of port, kids played and a live band jammed nearby...

    You can't put a $$$ value on it. Hong Kong will only get worse.

    Yes, confirmation bias, etc, etc...


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