I don't understand why things have to be one way or other. Childcare is not the same for everyone, it's a series of choices depending on the situation and values held. Nowadays, some people want everything, career, kids, time to play so that often require paid help but it's a choice. It's also not necessarily true that your career takes a massive hit if you take time off, it really depends on your field. Almost all of my close friends(male and female) have taken some kind of parental leave(all professionals)and all have done well and have held or now holding senior positions.
I also had a good friend that was a single professional working parent with two kids and she managed incredibly well with very minimal support. Her kids were very independent helping with the cooking, cleaning and other household chores and she got them involved in competitive sports which was a form of childcare. Basically, everyone adapts to their situation and do what they have to do to make it work.
If people prefer to stay in HK to have domestic helper and a certain kind of lifestyle that they may not have elsewhere, it's also a perfectly valid choice and I see nothing wrong with it. There are advantages and disadvantages with every choice and I don't see why others should make judgment on choices they don't have to make.
Before I was a parent when I worked in the City of London, I used to see parents sprinting from their desks to the nearby nursery which closed at 7 pm. Then they had their commutes home, bath and wind down for baby etc. I don’t know which after school clubs are open that late for school aged children, those normally finish around 5.
My colleagues in NY and London are much more vocal about not wanting to go back to the office full-time post pandemic. You can understand why when you consider the challenges they face if they are parents.
For every situation, it's not hard to find examples that fit a particular narrative. It doesn't mean it has to be the only one. Is it harder or easier to raise 2-3 kids as working parents than it was when there were 6. 8 or even 10 kids with stay at home mothers? At the end of the day, people make the bed they are sleeping in so you whatever choices are made, there will be challenges. I won't judge people's choices nor do I have much patience for complaints about perceived hardships from choices that were made.
Bit late to this conversation due to time zones but as a parent of 2, a secondary school teacher and having a wife who was a very hard working headteacher in primary school I feel I have a good experience of what kids do in the UK.
Of course it varies based.on where you live and income levels but most parents will use a.variety of family help (grandparents) Childminders, more.formal day care and some nannies at younger ages. As children get older (9-11) they will become more independent.
Many mums will take time off, maternity leave, part time work, (and more rarely Dads).
Many people do not live anywhere near Grandparents so that route is not always available. Moving to.a.different part of the country to work is quite common
Personally I dropped my kids off at a local childminder on the way to work and picked them up on the way home until they were about 9 or 10. After that they looked after themselves.
We had friends who had a nanny but they were both very we'll off dentists. They had option to have the mum part time or take a career break but chose not to.
I look back at the period of kids growing up and wonder how we did it. Shopping. cooking, cleaning, working, It was not easy but it worked and the kids.grew.up happy and wel adjusted. I could not imagine having a helper living in full time.
Last edited by Pauljoecoe; 26-11-2020 at 04:53 PM.