Problem with cat

[dizzyhytes]

Sometime ago I decided to adopt a cat as I realised I couldn't have a dog with my lifestyle (single, out at work etc).

I did several months of deliberation and research (books, online), and then checked out the local adoption agencies.

I finally settled on a cat from a shelter. He was FIV positive, but I had read that it wasn't contagious to humans, and I knew he stood little chance of being adopted otherwise. He was exactly what I wanted, aloof but kindly, quiet, hated other cats etc. After going there to visit for a few weeks, I took him home. I even hired a helper an hour a day so he wouldn't have to spend all day alone.

Here started the problem. He is really a wonderful cat and doesn't scratch furniture, pees in his litter box etc. But he totally changed. This aloof cat which I thought would do fantastically on his own, revealed that he is totally a people-cat and wants company. He is just miserable because I am hardly at home, and when I am, he becomes totally clingy and attention-seeking, wailing to be petted all the time. It is causing a huge problem as I can't sleep, I've tried everything, sleeping with him in my bed, banishing him to the living room, training methods like ignoring him until he is quiet. But he meows for me through the night.

The funny thing is, when I travel and he stays with my friend, he is totally quiet and happy and purring. She works shorter hours and is at home a few hours a day, and he is much happier with her. Unfortunately her personal circumstances don't allow her to take him.

I'm in a bind, I'm totally exhausted from lack of sleep to the point where I sometimes really hate him and refuse to look at him, making him more clingy. I am seriously considering having him devoiced as I don't know what other option there is, other than to send him back. I cannot continue with no sleep. But he will never find another home as he is FIV+. He was so sad in the shelter as he really needs to be in a one-cat home, just not mine.

Despite all my preparation I'm out of my depth, and now realise I underestimated the situation entirely. (I am a dog person normally and not experienced with cats). It's such a shame as he doesn't deserve this as he is so lovely and I feel so guilty for being angry with him.

Does anyone have any constructive comments? (Not criticism please, as I already know all of that and don't need to hear anymore).

[hello_there]

Have you tried talking to your vet or the adoption agency? Either may have some helpful suggestions and the vet may be able to make sure the cat is healthy (FIV excepted)/ confirm that the noise is just a behavior thing. You can try playing more with the cat when you get home in the evening to tire it out, and have your helper do the same (rather than just sitting with it) when she is there.

Also, here are two links that may have some ideas. One has to do with why cats play at night and the other discusses excessive meowing:

Nocturnal Cat Behavior by Perfect Paws Cat and Kitten Training and Behavior

Excessive Meowing by Perfect Paws Cat and Kitten Training and Behavior

And a third article about cat meowing:

Cat Meowing - Why They do it, What it Means and How to Stop Unwanted Meowing

Oh, not sure if he is considered hyperactive, but I do know someone with a dog in the US that was medicated (by the vet) (xanax I think) for hyperactivity at night...

Best of luck.

[bsh]

1) How long have you had it now? Do you think that given a bit more time, it may settle down?

2) Is getting another playmate totally out of the question? Could the shelter recommend another cat?

3) Do you play with it every night and tire him out, then give him a late night supper so it will sleep?

4) Good earplugs?

5) If all else fails, could you talk to the people at the shelter about taking it back?

[bookblogger]

Yes, if it hasn't been long, he may get used to your routine given more time.

[mytimeoff]

Have you tried using Feliway? It is a pherhormone similar to the ones released by the cat's mummy when they are kittens, which is supposedly to be calming and soothing for the cat. U can probably get it from the vets and they come as a diffuser. It might help your cat's mood? I use it in my multi-cat household and also when the cats are in a nervous mood e.g when they were moved here from the UK.....

[London2HK]

Maybe increase the amount of time the helper is there each day?
Any nearby friends/friends kids to drop by to play with him? More toys?
Adopting another FIV cat?

If all else fails you could personally advertise him up for adoption? Then you know this problem will be short term, not everyone will mind the cat being FIV especially as most cats in hong kong are indoors anyway.
Just think that you adopted him being FIV so there will be others !

[thundacatchergo]

don't know if this would work, but have you considered getting him a companion? like another cat? more like a pet for your pet, pet's pet.

[A-J]

Absolutely agree with the post above. I've 2 cats and most of the time they play with each other.

[Master]

I hear you. I picked up a 3 month old kitten in January from SPCA Wan Chai. Over the first few months, I had MANY sleepless nights. I really thought he had anxiety issues. He meowed continuously. So often that taking a photo of him with his mouth closed was a mission impossible.

Being away for work during the day, I would almost rush home and spend time with the cat.

It took a while, and it got better. But he was still meowing a lot during the night. Waking up at 3-4am swearing was normal for a few months.

Now, it's been over 5 months since I got him and he is MUCH BETTER. He seems to understands that when people sleep, the door is closed and he should stay quiet. Once the alarm rings in the morning, he meows immediately. That's acceptable.

Don't know how long you've had the cat, but it'll most likely get better, but you have to be in control and set the rules. And make sure the cat has lots of toys, play with the cat and lots of cuddle.

I always feel a little bad when I leave for work, and I've considered getting another cat. But my cat right now is practically perfect and I'm worried to get a cat which I'm not 'so lucky with' in terms of cat behaviour etc.

Hang in there!

[bsh]

BTW, re-FIV + status.

The test that they do here isn't always accurate. One of my cats was diagnosed FIV + and I arranged for the Western Blot test to be done and it was found to be negative. Cost about 1000 dollars though to have the test.