I have friends 20 years younger and older and I can enjoy spending time with them equally.
I have excellent conversations with my friends kid when we go for a two hour run in the hills and with my retired buddy of almost 70 on the golf course. We can even be talking of the same things...investment, the market, real estate, sports, relationships. I don't see why it can't be the same with a more personal relationship if you treat each other as equals. I think someone in their twenties can be just as intelligent or more, certainly as fit and life experiences, well I'm sorry but you never get a relationship where the other person is a carbon copy of yourself. We can benefit and appreciate those differences, the younger person can benefit from the experience and sometimes weatlh accumulated, the older person can enjoy the energy and enthusiasm that younger people have, maybe a certain lack of cynicism that often develop as we get older. They don't always complain about the little pains they have or problems at work.
There are challenges such as retirement and health but there are never any guarantees, anyone can get hit by a bus tomorrow or get cancer. If you find someone you can have fun and connect with today, why worry about tomorrow since it may never come... Be happy and forget about what other people may think, if they can't handle it, it's their problem not yours. Funny enough, women often seem to be more bothered by this kind of behaviour. Perhaps a little insecurity there...
Being able to have a good conversation with a 20 year old or 50 year old is patently different to being amenable to marrying one if you are the other. Can you accept that, or do we need to go into the reasons? Whilst I may not have completely ruled out the possibility at the age of 20 that I may meet a 50 year old soul mate, of course I would have baulked at this prospect unless I was absolutely convinced that this was the case and that I would never find my 'real' soulmate later on, which would be quite unlikely. A number of women may, however, marry for money. To deny this is plain naive. To allege that women who have views about the difficulties and possible motivations about a 30 year age gap are insecure is just plain offensive and ignorant. Such views can be held by both women and men without disagreeing about your comments about conversations with people of all ages and not ruling out the possibility of love at all ages. (And as a small side comment, I think there can be an appreciable difference in mindset etc between a 20 year old and someone in their late 20s)
It seems to be amazing that you could adopt such a morally high tone after having commented another post that "I would never in a million years have a relationship a DH, someone from a poor country, someone uneducated, a smoker or drinker". I mean what the ??
How can you dare to suggest that people with the views I mentioned above are the narrow minded ones in light of this? I would not have commented on the aforementioned post of yours at all, because I do accept that most people have their own, sometimes idiosyncratic boxes to tick - to each their own etc - but going by the logic of your last post, I would now launch into an easily unobjectionable essay (on the face of it) of how it would be possible to connect with someone who fit the bill for everything you mentioned in that post, and imply that you would not be able to have any type of rapport with your own kids if they started smoking or drinking or didn't earn as much as you (if I recall correctly from another post of yours) etc etc.
Last edited by muse07; 22-11-2008 at 01:33 PM.
Last edited by muse07; 22-11-2008 at 01:39 PM.
I respect the fact that some people wouldn't want to date someone 20 years younger than them and most likely I won't do that either but I don't have any negative thoughts whatsoever about people who make those decision. I don't think they're embarrassing themselves, I don't assume that the younger person is in just for the money nor that they can't be seen in public...
And the fact that I wouldn't have a relationship with certain type of people because it would be doomed in failure but it doesn't mean I don't respect them or can't be friends with them or even jump in the sack and have some fun.
As for men and women disagreeing with this type of behaviour, it's certainly true that both men and women can have a distaste for that. As a matter of fact, when I first visited Thailand in my early twenties, I thought Pattaya was somewhat disgusting and haven't changed my mind much about that either but I've certainly grown a lot more accepting of various behaviours. My personal experience which in no way reflects any scientific study does remain that women seem to have more of a problem with it and even more so as they age...If that offends you, well that's too bad, it's simply what I've observed in my life. It doesn't mean that it's the absolute truth, simply my personal experience.
Last edited by muse07; 22-11-2008 at 03:57 PM.
Men seem to have less of a problem with it the more they age. Funny that :P
Anyway, enough from me. Am sure ppl are getting sick of our posts :]
Last edited by muse07; 22-11-2008 at 04:39 PM.
If you can find happiness today, grab hold of it because tomorrow may never come.
What's the bloody big deal about DHs / professional ladies down Wanchai with degrees, when one wouldn't make the same sort of fuss over people with some degree from some unknown / dubious uni's in say the UK? I simply see no reason why the degrees of DHs / hookers should get elevated to a different level just because of what they are, and I fail to see why men seem to be so impressed by it.