Whats the chances of an Aussie girl meeting a nice expat...

[DanielandHayley]

Have followed this thread with a fair bit of interest...and am going wade in slightly with a "calm down, calm down" (in scouse accent with wig and shell suit on...obviously)...

It is impossible, and lets be honest a bit ignorant to try and generalise on this...so I would fall on Hull's side of the argument here...

[hullexile]

I never mentioned somebody of the same age for only having deep and meaningful conversations, I was talking about 20 plus year age gaps, 10 year age gaps obviously I don't have an issue with as she would of had a decent amount of life experience to be able to discuss personal and career issues etc.

So what about two 20 somethings? No deep and meaningfuls possible? Or if a 10 year age gap is OK what about a 35 year old and a 25 year old? No deep and meaningfuls? Its bollox Jim.

OK fact - I am 51, my wife 27. We have deep and meaningfuls. She can do more than just smile and nod. I can show her off in public (in fact the Pro-Vice Chancellor of my University who has met her, specifically invited her to a black tie dinner hosted by the British Council as a guest of the University). Its bollox Jim.

[hullexile]

Have followed this thread with a fair bit of interest...and am going wade in slightly with a "calm down, calm down" (in scouse accent with wig and shell suit on...obviously)...

It is impossible, and lets be honest a bit ignorant to try and generalise on this...so I would fall on Hull's side of the argument here...

Thanks. The way my balls are hurting at the moment I would suggest the rest of you follow suit or the insults are really going to start to fly

[jimbo]

So what about two 20 somethings? No deep and meaningfuls possible? Or if a 10 year age gap is OK what about a 35 year old and a 25 year old? No deep and meaningfuls? Its bollox Jim.

Hull

I suggest you re-read my comments again.
I said a ten year would be fine as they would have some sort of common ground and clearly two twentysomethings would as well.

twenty plus years etc and it seems a lot less likely, Your wife and yourself excepted clearly.

[aussiegal]

Look, the reality is that most South East Asian women in their 20's have lived tougher lives than a 20 something westerner making it easier for them to be able to have a meaningful conversation with a 50 year old. But then you have the question of their intentions. You can't deny most are trying to change their situations. They want a better life. Hull, you do seem to have gotten lucky, from all your previous threads you seem to have a wife that genuinely loves you but how often is it the case that the woman actually falls in love with the man for the usual reasons more privileged people do - love, etc, not just their ability to make their lives better?

And I'm not condemning them for doing it. If I was living in poverty and had the chance at a better life, an opportunity to look after my family etc I'd take it.

Some of you are more interested in staying PC than having a real discussion here.

[shilo507]

I'll answer my quote from earlier.

What would a middle aged guy have in common with a twenty something gf? He would of lived a lot whereas a girl in her twenties would just be starting out in life and won't have the life experiences of the middle aged guy.

You can't have a deep and meaningful conversation with somebody that doesn't understand what you've been through etc all they can do is smile and nod. Not exactly what I'd call deep and meaningful now is it?

Jimbo,

Usually I agree with most of your posts but I cannot agree with this one. It all depends on your circumstances.

I have met many DHs in HK who are separated and divorced in their mid to late 20s with a child or two. That's something I have in common with them immediately. They may have lost their children to the ex-spouse and have to work to support children they no longer see. Well, that's something else I have in common with them. Third, they are living in a foreign land working long hours etc 6 days a week trying to make a new start at the same time honoring their responsibilities. Yes - that's something else I share with them. They don't have much money and nor do I. You get the picture I think.
I think those girls understand perfectly well what I have been through and I always enjoy talking to them. They listen to me and I listen to them. That seems to make the conversations pretty meaningful - not just on Sundays but in daily phone calls, too

Thank God for the DHs in HK.

[muse07]

The comments about 20 year old women and 30 year age gaps go for any race, surely.

And yes we don't like making generalisations and realise there are exceptions for every rule, but surely one can't deny that it is fairly likely that the 20 year old would be picked for youthful pertness and the 50 year old picked for money/stability, or at least that would often quite likely be the biggest factor.

Not that people can't find true love at whatever age - and I was actually quite impressed by the Kucinich story (there is about a 30year old age gap there) How Kucinich Found Love
but surely it would be not a stretch to say that the former situation would be more common

This whole debate started after shiloh made the comment on just being able to live it up with 20 year olds and I think a few of us have simply tried to remind others of the virtues of relationships with 'older' women, many of whom are hot hot hot and surely undeniably *in general* have more life experience than younger women and can so have something different to offer in that respect. Ironically we are the ones being labelled as offensive.

But yes, to each their own..

[ScotchDrinker]

You can't show off a 20 something in case they open their mouth. Why are all 20 somethings stupid or something?

Oh and DHs are not educated - I suggest you check out some of their qualifications.

In response to your first statement: the simple answer is "no". Like I said in my previous post, I'm not referring to ALL 20-somethings.

As for how incredibly qualified DHs are - I'm sorry but I'm just getting sick and tired of this argument. Put it this way, if some guy comes onto Geo and asks about job prospects in HK (for example), and mentions that he's got a degree from the Bolton Uni, you're hardly gonna exclaim "gee, look how qualified this guy is!" True, from my personal knowledge some DHs are trained nurses, and I know one who's got an accounting degree - but the truth remains, just because someone's got "qualifications" doesn't mean he/ she is "qualified". Back in the UK, almost every scumbag can get "qualifications".

OP: all I can say to you (for now) is that it is possible to find "the one" anywhere in the world - you just need to be prepared to be disappointed now and again, particularly in Asia. Best of luck.

[jimbo]

Well this has livened up what would otherwise be a dull Friday afternoon

[hullexile]

Look, the reality is that most South East Asian women in their 20's have lived tougher lives than a 20 something westerner making it easier for them to be able to have a meaningful conversation with a 50 year old. But then you have the question of their intentions. You can't deny most are trying to change their situations. They want a better life. Hull, you do seem to have gotten lucky, from all your previous threads you seem to have a wife that genuinely loves you but how often is it the case that the woman actually falls in love with the man for the usual reasons more privileged people do - love, etc, not just their ability to make their lives better?

And I'm not condemning them for doing it. If I was living in poverty and had the chance at a better life, an opportunity to look after my family etc I'd take it.

Some of you are more interested in staying PC than having a real discussion here.

Again you have no evidence just your personal opinion. I am not denying, it would be stupid to do so, that financial security for themselves and more importantly their families does not come into this. But from the girls I know love is an important factor. Choose someone you love as long as they can support their family. That is not the same as marrying for money.

And it's not about being PC, it's about defending my wife from generalised insults about her intelligence and ability to hold decent conversations.