Like Tree61Likes

Moving a teenage daughter from NZ to HK

Closed Thread
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 LastLast
  1. #11

    Deleted.


  2. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Kowloon Goon:
    I disagree. At her age, having parents around is very important. Family members, even close ones, will raise the daughter differently. Even at 16, there is a lot of development (socially, emotionally, and cognitively).

    Leaving your daughter in NZ is a bad move, imo.
    With respect, based on my own experience I disagree. Sending our daughters to boarding school in NZ has worked out well (after a brief settling in period) and they are both thriving and prefer their NZ school to their previous schools in HK.

    We do work hard to maintain contact - flying them back to HK on term breaks, regular Skype calls etc. - which is not cheap but they're happy and doing well.

    That said, a lot will depend on the individual - different people will react differently to each experience. Some will do well (like ours are) and others not so much (and I can think of a few here as well). OP knows her daughter best but if it was me, I'd try and frame it as a choice between coming to HK or boarding in NZ to give her a sense of empowerment.
    shri, Edwardstorm, jrkob and 1 others like this.

  3. #13

    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    4,188

    Seems most of the expat families here prefer to send their children to boarding school for upper secondary so that they can keep a stable group of friends. The international secondary schools here tend to have a core group of local/"local" students ("local" = Chinese but with a foreign passport or half-Chinese with a foreign parent), and then a more transient group of "real" expats.

    In your situation if staying in NZ needs to be done, I'd consider boarding school near a relative rather than sending them to live with a relative and attend a regular school. Having seen this dynamic in my extended family, a boarding school is more structured and stable than a relative can be.

    traineeinvestor likes this.

  4. #14

    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Taiwan and HK
    Posts
    6,158

    My daughter was thrilled to fly the nest at 16 and never looked back. My niece, similarly, moved to Sweden from the US at 16 (Sweden gave her her own apartment, father is a Swede) and never returned...

    There are many mature teenagers who are ready to go it alone. In the old days teenagers were married with kids at that age so I think it depends on the child.

    But if she is happy and doing well at her current school and if staying there is an option (with family or friends) then I would consider that over boarding school. But you can leave the decision to her...


  5. #15

    While I don't doubt there are real benefits of boarding schools, I could never send my kid off at that age. I'm really looking forward to experiencing (first hand) the many challenges and milestones...

    Also, do we know that the OP can even afford boarding schools? Hah. I feel like some of us - myself included - live in a privileged bubble here on geoexpat.

    Mrs. Jones likes this.

  6. #16
    Original Post Deleted
    OK, fair enough, but does the OP say she's considering an international school in HK?

  7. #17
    Original Post Deleted
    Heard of DSS schools? How about Catholic Mission School? Etc. Craw back into your lush Japanese troll cave.

  8. #18

    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    4,188
    Quote Originally Posted by Kowloon Goon:
    Heard of DSS schools? How about Catholic Mission School? Etc. Craw back into your lush Japanese troll cave.
    CMS is a primary school!

    It is almost impossible to get a non-Cantonese speaker into a good secondary in HK. They segregate the non-Chinese into lower tier schools.

    This is another reason many expat children don't stick around in HK for secondary. Because if you don't have the cash for international school then your options are severely limited.

  9. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by merchantms:
    CMS is a primary school!.
    haha.

  10. #20
    Original Post Deleted
    Thank you.