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was your husband/partner the tag-along spouse?

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  1. #11

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    4,043

    The OP is right to ask the question and to be realistic as she has to live with the husband if things don't go as well as expected.

    I see nothing in her post to suggest that her husband has his entire identity wrapped up in his work but coming here naively is "perhaps the saddest and spiritually void string of words" that I could contemplate. If you come without regard for these issues you are a fool. Ergo the OP asks the right questions and genuinely needs to find others experiences here.

    I never wrapped my identity up in my job but I do want to do things and if I trailed my wife and gave up what I had going for me I'd have some concerns too coming here and if it was not easy to find a fit.


  2. #12

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Gold Coast Marina
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    There are plenty of volunteering activities available in HK. I'm sure many of those charities who help the underpriviged in HK would jump at the chance of gaining the skills of a retail banker, even if his skills come from overseas. Budgeting (personal/corporate); business plans etc are surely needed by these organisations. I think if you don't need the money he should see this as a wonderful opportunity to try out a few new things. There are also huge number of activities - PDLM mentioned hiking (he organises weekday hikes, I organise weekend hikes) - several groups organise hikes, meetup.com also has a list of other activities on it such as scrabble, bridge etc etc ....


  3. #13

    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Fortress Hill
    Posts
    108

    Thank you for the various suggestions, they are along the lines of what we have been thinking if paid employment doesn't pan out.

    Thankyou Football 16 for articulating the motivation of the post, it can be a bit difficult to concisely express the thoughts and emotions that whirl around in your head at a time like this and I appreciate your stepping up to bat so to speak.

    So still interested in hearing "real life" stories of those who have been through this....


  4. #14

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Gold Coast Marina
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    17,934

    My friend did this - she's a NET and married her (long time) partner so that he could come to HK on a dependent visa. Her hubby now has a full time job here - and is trying to cope with the change in lifestyle associated with having to get up and go to work in the morning after years of not! While he was looking (not that hard, by the sounds of it) he did some volunteer work that he clearly really enjoyed and sat around alot (according to her ) - but again - this guy is not somebody who had a career before. He's a great chap who loves a laugh and does not take life too seriously. Those types of characteristics help in this situation.