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Babies!

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  1. #1

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
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    Babies!

     I just got happily married in May. I'm 37 and she's 34. We both said we want to have kids, although my wife has now made clear she wants to 'enjoy' the marriage for at least a few years before starting a family. Of course, I think this is very fair, but am concerned about how hard it may be for a +37 year old woman to have kids. If it's easier than I suspect, then I don't want to ruffle any feathers unnecessarily. Any 'informed' advice would be greatly appreciated so the potential discussion can be more based on 'fact' than 'fear'.


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    14,449

    Try posting on geobaby as you might get a better response
    I'd suggest she speaks to her Dr to determine what are the exact risks she may encounter having children at a later stage.
    Posted via Mobile Device


  3. #3

    Join Date
    May 2010
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    thats a medical question better suited for a doctor.

    we would've prefer to had our kids earlier. we had our first when we were 30 after being married for a few years. No one ever told me how great parenthood is.


  4. #4

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Although there are always exceptions (women in their 50s and 60s having babies) the following 2 facts are well studied and well documented generilizations:

    1) The older you get, the harder it gets (miscarriage etc)
    2) The older you get, the more chances of damage (downs etc)
    Any doctor will tell you the same; better sooner than later.

    Having said that, we are very lucky parents of 3 healthy kids. All 3 were produced when my wife was was between 35-40.

    HC


  5. #5

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    Female fertility has already fallen significantly by the age of 30 - by mid 30's it's SIGNIFICANTLY harder to concieve and the statistics of birth defects start to rapidly increase after this age. Obviously there are always exceptions, but if you are keen on kids then waiting much longer is not a great idea.


  6. #6

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    2,716

    my suggestion is two fold:

    1. go to see a doctor with her to make an informed decision ('i am not sure how it works at that age, so honey, let's speak to a doctor')

    2. offer her to make a complete health check rather sooner to figure out whether both of you actually CAN have babies


  7. #7

    Join Date
    May 2009
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    675

    Apparently, a very good indicator of when an individual female's fertility begins to decrease is to deduct 10 years from the age that her mother began menopause. From that age, a woman's ability to conceive drops dramatically.

    The absolute best possible thing is to go talk to a doctor. And if it's that much of a concern then you can have tests to check fertility. Both of you. And then make a fully informed decision.


  8. #8

    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    8,332

    I doubt a doctor will say much more than what people here have already said. ie the longer you wait, the harder it will be to conceive. If you really want kids, best to get onto it sooner rather than later.


  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisBe:
     I just got happily married in May. I'm 37 and she's 34. We both said we want to have kids, although my wife has now made clear she wants to 'enjoy' the marriage for at least a few years before starting a family. Of course, I think this is very fair, but am concerned about how hard it may be for a +37 year old woman to have kids. If it's easier than I suspect, then I don't want to ruffle any feathers unnecessarily. Any 'informed' advice would be greatly appreciated so the potential discussion can be more based on 'fact' than 'fear'.
    your concern is justified. after 37 women fertility follows an exponential decay...

    convince her to go to doctor together. I'd recommend family Dr. Derek Lo.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by HowardCoombs:
    Although there are always exceptions (women in their 50s and 60s having babies) the following 2 facts are well studied and well documented generilizations:

    1) The older you get, the harder it gets (miscarriage etc)
    2) The older you get, the more chances of damage (downs etc)
    Any doctor will tell you the same; better sooner than later.

    Having said that, we are very lucky parents of 3 healthy kids. All 3 were produced when my wife was was between 35-40.

    HC
    there no examples of women having their OWN babies after the age of 50. All these recent stories about women getting pregnant and having healthy babies after the age of 50 are cases of doing an IVF procudure with donor eggs. thanks to advances in reproductive technologies

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