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Dating question

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  1. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by gilleshk:
    Regardless of who ends up paying though, it's always polite and appropriate to make an offer and to never take it for granted except maybe on a special occasion like a birthday.
    Unless you're Polish - in which case, if it's your birthday you pay.

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by ArKay:
    Again...disagree. Note what Gilles said. I have a lot of male friends that feel the same way. And it's not them being mean or tight, it's simply that they acknowledge and appreciate independent women and aren't looking for someone to look after but an equal.
    I dont think we need to that serious in each and every action. Just take it easy. If you are invited for a dinner which is not specified as a dutch dinner you need not be much bothered about who is going to pay.

    It depends on the person with whom you are going for dinner. You are going for a date not an evaluation session.. thank god that i am marrried

  3. #13

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    no matter what you decide, if the person makes a big deal about it and gets pissed off one way or the other thats a flag you should not see them again


  4. #14

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    i still remember my first date with my hubby....i paid for the movie, he paid for dinner.

    as for "specifying it's a dutch dinner".... i must say that i have NEVER met anyone who calls up and asks for a first date say, "hey, baby! would you go out for dinner with me? but before you answer, let me specify....i'm only paying for myself."

    how terribly romantic!?


  5. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by iamasmallgaint:
    I dont think we need to that serious in each and every action. Just take it easy. If you are invited for a dinner which is not specified as a dutch dinner you need not be much bothered about who is going to pay.

    It depends on the person with whom you are going for dinner. You are going for a date not an evaluation session.. thank god that i am marrried
    Except that's what we do all day everyday, rightly or wrongly, consciously or subconsciously, make judgements about people based on what they do and what they say. But that's normal - it's how we decide if we want someone to be our friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, etc. A radical feminist would be offended if a guy insisted on paying for dinner, whilst some men would be offended if a woman didn't offer to pay her share.

    So, the bottom line for the OP is, she just has to be herself. If she acts in a way that is true to her own values and beliefs then if the guy is offended by it so be it...he's clearly not the guy for her...

    OP - I hope you enjoy the date regardless!

  6. #16

    yeh... i think i m gonna offer to split the bill.. i feel more comfortable that way and hey, if it doesn't work out, at least i don't owe him anything right?


  7. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by kassyshine:
    yeh... i think i m gonna offer to split the bill.. i feel more comfortable that way and hey, if it doesn't work out, at least i don't owe him anything right?
    Do you offer to split the bill with asian guys? (even though they grab the bill first) Are the asian guys offended if you do offer?

    I will always offer to pay the bill, if I have asked the girl for the dinner. If she then says that she will pay for the next one or pay for a few drinks after, then she earns big brownie points

    Tip: Just because a guy pays for the bill, doesn't make him any nicer than another guy - just means he has a few dollars. If you want to see what he is like, see how he treats the waiters.
    TTong likes this.

  8. #18

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    Keep it simple and split the bill. Money has nothing to do with likes and dislikes. I have to respectfully disagree with those who believe the guy must pay.


  9. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by kassyshine:
    yeh... i think i m gonna offer to split the bill.. i feel more comfortable that way and hey, if it doesn't work out, at least i don't owe him anything right?
    At the end of the day, be yourself and do what makes you happy. If the other person doesn't like it or accept it then there are plenty of others that will appreciate you for who you are.

    I believe in what you see is what you get, if the other person doesn't like it then move on. I won't change nor ask anyone to change either. It works or it doesn't...

  10. #20

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    if you want to see him again, you can let him pay if he wants to pay and you can offer to take him out next time.

    if you dont want to see him again, let him pay if he offers or just split the bill. no biggie. where are you going?


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