Fighting depression

motogod · 11-10-2004, 10:30 AM

Heya ppl,

Need help .. my girlfriend is mighty depressed these days n that's coz of her new manager is giving her hard time .. it's more to do with his attitude towards his subordinates than the work itself .. I realised that there are not many vents to her frustration and anger .. We recently returned from a vacation to china which certainly did not help .. rather it created more problems : ( ..

I need some suggestions .. we r going to a family boating trip this week end and I am planning to take her for hiking and to play golf the next week end (vr first timers at golf .. i heard it's great at reliving stress) .. any other suggestion ? is there any place where we could try rock climbing ? or something more adventurous or sporty to take her mind off werk ?

Regards
Moto

motogod · 11-10-2004, 10:53 AM

sounds great .. please keep me posted on geo's next happy hour ..

Originally Posted by **:

Trying diff sports anc activities is fine but it doesnt help much if you are alone with the same person all the time, i guess...... Better meet new people and have chat with them... Best way.. Join GeoExpat group for happy hour. People seem really interesting, enjoying and motivating here..

Houston · 20-12-2004, 03:45 PM

Hi Moto:

Depression is not resolved through keeping busy. While depresion is a challange for most people, they generally try to deny and hide from the cause. I suggest that your girlfriend seeks a professional councellor to help resolve issues. It is a very healthy and life affirming option.

I highly recommend she contact Alice Leung at Miracleloops Consulting 2344- 4187 or 8206-9871.

Regards...Houston

JJexpat · 20-12-2004, 09:32 PM

Agree with Houston, but caution that the goal in selecting a counsellor is self-awareness and understanding, not a "fix" . Depression is anger turned inwards...sometimes owning the anger is the key. In a job situatino, a person needs to be wise about what that looks like, But if there is not a way to face up to the real issue, that feeling of being trapped is a killer. In my own situation, I am seeking to "re-frame" what I sought initially in the position. I had wanted to do meaningful work--so I am reframing what meaningful work means, and when I will get to do it. The current experience is extremely valuable learning...for next steps. I no longer expect it to satisfy in real time. Maybe thinking along those lines may help.

Er...one more maybe presumptuous thought. Likely your wife needs to feel heard rather than be given a solution. Be there and let her know its ok to have her feelings--be careful about seeming to suggest that she should do this or that to escape them. We all need an escape at times...but the well intentioned diversion may inadvertently send the wrong message.

Good luck (and sorry if this sounds like a lecture!)
JJ