i like that we are discussing such specifics about the OP and their FDH, when most likely the FDH is reading these posts while sticking the toothbrushes up her bum.
OP, you can listen and read all the advise on here -some good, some bad some interesting - end of the day you are the only one who really know:
1. your helper
2. your comfortable zone
3. the consequences (ie - need to find a new helper or not...)
My only advise, would be: do not over think it, take a decision, stick with it and good luck.
I would not lend her this money or you will become the first port of call for every family emergency. I think the idea of an advance is a good one.
OP, you never know with maids. Although most are content in HKG, some of them have bigger dreams. The ultimate goal achievable for a maid in HKG is to either marry someone with a permanent ID, or have enough experience or complete their 72 units (2 year course) and be eligible to work abroad in European countries, or their favorite, Canada.
In a similar situation, I lent 20k to my then domestic (in her 20’s) a year ago as she was crying her eyes out because her mother needed a "kidney transplant." I didn't care if I she was lying or not because she really seemed so desperate and also because 20k isn't as big of a deal to me. But, turns out, her plan was to buy an ID card from a Nepalese fellow for 15k (basically pay the guy the money to marry her in paper.) Everything was fine, I guess, but suddenly, out of the blue, she filed a rape case against successful Pakistani businessmen. Police got involved and, long story short, she went to jail.
Will I get my 20k back? Well, I guess it depends if she’ll be eligible to continue working after her time. I guess I won’t, then.
Point of the story, OP, is that the only factor you should consider before lending money or not is the age of your domestic helper.
I would not lend money to anyone who considers it my obligation to do so. It's just bad attitude, emotional black mail, and reflects on his/her wrong intention in general. To give you an attitude just because you said maybe is completely unacceptable. Even my family wouldn't do that, although I would never say no to them.
In my opinion, you have two options... Advance her the money and take it out of her pay for the next 15 months. That way, you know it's coming back or she'll be gone and out of your hair. Unlikely she would ask for more for the remainder of the contract and you can sleep fairly soundly.
If it's out of your comfort zone or it doesn't work out and you don't want to do it then I would let her go. Having a disgruntled employee living in your home and having full access into your life isn't a wise choice. Unfortunate for her but it's a good way to learn not to push boundaries with an employer.
You could lend her it but set a really high interest rate and leave her forever indebited to you although you might end up sending the debt collectors to your own house.