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Chinese customs regarding death

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  1. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by emx:
    I just noticed that too, thanks Fiona.

    Yes it should be bowing, not blowing.
    first read I thought it was bowling. even more tiring. and an odd way to respect the dead, although seeing as this is HK....

    Fiona in HKG likes this.

  2. #12

    My wife's younger brother passed away on 3rd Feb 2019 in his hometown. Can their parents visit and stay our house and take care my 2 months plus newborn baby in KL for 3 days? Appreciate your urgent advice.

    Last edited by Bagan 123; 13-02-2019 at 03:57 PM. Reason: add on

  3. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bagan 123:
    My wife's younger brother passed away on 3rd Feb 2019 in his hometown. Can their parents visit and stay our house and take care my 2 months plus newborn baby in KL for 3 days? Appreciate your urgent advice.
    Do you mind if they visit and take care of your 2 months old is the question you need to ask yourself.

  4. #14

    actually my wife's parents wanted to pay us visit on this coming Friday 15th Feb and back to hometown on Sunday 17th Feb. The main purpose is to visit my new born 2 months baby.However, my parents not allowed them to visit, included my wife's sister due to now is Chinese New Year. I was told by my parents they can only come to visit and stay my house after 49 days and only allow to touch my baby after 4 months.Is it all these the correct Chinese custom? I personally feel like to cruel to my wife's parents.


  5. #15

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    I personally feel like to cruel to my wife's parents.
    Do what you feel is best for your wife. If she wants her parent to visit its ok. If she does not that is her decision.

    Some of these customs originate from days when people died due to diseases that were spread by contact and were not diagnosable. I think modern medicine has progressed from there, so its really up to you to make the decision.

    If you need to, ask your GP to write you a note saying that its ok for them to visit and show that to your parents.
    HK_Katherine and BCD like this.

  6. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bagan 123:
    actually my wife's parents wanted to pay us visit on this coming Friday 15th Feb and back to hometown on Sunday 17th Feb. The main purpose is to visit my new born 2 months baby.However, my parents not allowed them to visit, included my wife's sister due to now is Chinese New Year. I was told by my parents they can only come to visit and stay my house after 49 days and only allow to touch my baby after 4 months.Is it all these the correct Chinese custom? I personally feel like to cruel to my wife's parents.
    Tell them your culture requires grandparents to visit as soon as possible after birth, in fact seeing the baby as soon as it is born guarantees a strong bond between grandchild and grandparents and shows support to their daughter.
    HK_Katherine likes this.

  7. #17

    I personally feel like to cruel to my wife's parents.

    my parents clearly mentioned that my wife's parents n her sister are not allowed to stay in my house due to their younger brother passed away and also not allowed to touch my baby but only allow to stay and visit after 49 days. Is it this is the correct custom?


  8. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bagan 123:
    my parents clearly mentioned that my wife's parents n her sister are not allowed to stay in my house due to their younger brother passed away and also not allowed to touch my baby but only allow to stay and visit after 49 days. Is it this is the correct custom?
    Read the whole thread. If you do, you will see there is NO "correct" custom. The custom is changing all the time. It used to be a long time, but now is more like 7 days only. So no, it does not sound like the correct custom in the modern era.

    But more importantly, it IS cruel to your wife. And your wife is more important than your parents. She's just had a baby, she probably wants her family around particularly if she just lost her brother. Forget about custom and do the RIGHT thing ffs.
    shri and BCD like this.

  9. #19

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    FUCK CUSTOMS

    If you STOP your wifes parents and sister coming to visit your kid, will that piss her off to the point that you will STOP getting laid.

    Who's happiness will make your life happier, your Parents or your Wife

    HK_Katherine and shri like this.

  10. #20

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    I have never heard of such custom. Perhaps these are some local / regional. Where are your parents from?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bagan 123:
    my parents clearly mentioned that my wife's parents n her sister are not allowed to stay in my house due to their younger brother passed away and also not allowed to touch my baby but only allow to stay and visit after 49 days. Is it this is the correct custom?