Ahh.... its Men and Women again!

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Feb 2003

    Smile Ahh.... its Men and Women again!

    We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from
    the male side. Please note: these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

    # 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about your
    leaving it down.

    # 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

    # 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    # 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that

    # 1. Crying is blackmail.

    # 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
    work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! We'll
    get it for you, but just LET US KNOW

    # 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the
    calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

    # 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good
    at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look
    good with your dress?

    # 1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
    Please pick one.

    # 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
    we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    # 1. A headache that lasts for seventeen months is a problem. See a doctor.

    # 1. Let us know about that funny noise in your car engine as soon as you hear

    # 1. Anything we said six months ago is in admissible in an argument. In fact,
    all comments become null and void after seven days.

    # 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
    act like soap-opera guys.

    # 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
    answer, but we still love you.

    # 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
    makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    # 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during

    # 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

    # 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we
    were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your

    # 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
    example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
    what "Mauve" is.

    # 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    # 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
    ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

    #1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
    wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not
    worth the hassle.

    # 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
    don't want to hear.

    # 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
    Really, you look fine!!!

    # 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.
    No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

    # 1. NASCAR is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

    # 1. I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape

    # 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
    tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's
    like camping!

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Feb 2003

    Is everyone in agreement with this?
    (Guys , do you now acknowledge your genetic shortcomings and the keen desire not to do anything about them?)

    Girls- are you OK to live with this?

    Abhi-full marks for clarity, honesty and.....anyone want to fill in the blanks?

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Feb 2003


    A bit on the far side, everything is fair in love and war

    Women's version:
    Woman 2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
    Woman 1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

    Woman 2: Oh, God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff, I think.

    Woman 1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute, I think. I was actually going to do that, except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

    Woman 2: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

    Woman 1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

    Woman 2: .............
    Women 1: .............


    Men's version:
    Man 2: Haircut?

    Man 1: Yeah.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Feb 2003

    OK -you made your point

    Now should I start on :

    Male 1-did you watch the cricket last nite?
    MAle 2- that short pitched ball really got Lara didn't it

    Male 1-had he got the bat at angle x and his foot at angle y and not walked into the trap (going by the last few deliveries....)
    Male 2: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah


    Female 1:did you watch the cricket last nite
    Female 2 :No

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Feb 2003

    Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?

    Virginia Woolf - 1882-1941, British Novelist, Essayist

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Jul 2003

    lol....there yaa go again..