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how to make sure your helper stays?

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  1. #11

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    Jul 2009
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    "make sure she stays" - you simply cannot make sure of this - free will, no slavery and all of that. If you would like to find a helper who is happy to continue working for you long term, plenty of good advice above. Interview well and check references diligently, treat her well and be considerate of her needs. Nearly all the helpers I've heard of bailing after a short time live in a dingy little room with no AC, internet access or other "conveniences" that are common and enjoyed by others in the home and work well over 12 hour days for minimum wage - under those circumstances they have little to lose by trying again...

    Fiona in HKG likes this.

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by scrambler:
    any one else doin this - I mean we plannin on feedin em right and not puttin em on the kitchen floor for sleepin.
    Some things that most friends/ neighbours I know who have had their helpers long term do include providing a (paid) opportunity for your helper to travel home to visit family once or twice a year (or more). Make sure her room is a nice place to be. Aircon and internet if possible, clean (even new) linens, proper curtains if she has a window, try to arrange furnature and shelving to maximize space, so that she actually has somewhere private and nice to relax in her down time (I've talked to many helpers and this seems important to nearly all of them). Let her get enough rest. Be realistic in your expectations. She is a helper, not a supernanny with unlimited energy. You said that twins are on the way. That is a ton of work, but expecting her to be up with them most nights sharing feeds and then working a full day is probably too much for many helpers long term. Yes parents do it, but their interest is different and it is exhausting for a while. While she is an employee, approach the arrangement with kindness, empathy and a 'do unto others' attitude and you will be suprised how willing many helpers are to go above and beyond to make your family happy.
    mrdollars likes this.

  3. #13

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    May 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by elliee:
    ....and work well over 12 hour days for minimum wage....
    Sorry, minimum wage does not apply to legal slaves.
    d-28 likes this.

  4. #14

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    Sep 2012
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    yeah thanks for the comments guys - of course we are arrangin her private place - shes a human bein not rosy the robot...
    actually we a bit on the fence about whether we should get her to live out... ( i know theres a legal aspect to this but sorry not interested in that discussion - *more* will she prefer it? might actually play in her favor since she wont be guilted in to midnight action )

    i liked mr $$ suggestion of at least one flight home a year.. yeh we plannin on one holiday a year so no bother if she goes home during that, an 1000 per flight is nothin. as long as she comes back!!!!

    we were thinkin of a longevity bonus.., we pay her a bit extra but she gets it as year end bonus?

    we not plannin on stupid long days - an workin her to the bone... but yeh twins might be hard work..


  5. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by scrambler:
    .. yeh we plannin on one holiday a year so no bother if she goes home during that
    You don't have pets, right?

  6. #16

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    Jul 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by scrambler:
    actually we a bit on the fence about whether we should get her to live out... ( i know theres a legal aspect to this but sorry not interested in that discussion - *more* will she prefer it? might actually play in her favor since she wont be guilted in to midnight action )
    Living out isn't a great option for many helpers. If she hasn't lived in a boarding house before and isn't staying with friends, they can be a pretty terrible place to be. Cramped, loud, hot, dirty... none of which are restful conditions. Travel time may become an issue also, as her day will be longer if the her place isn't close. If you want someone to live out, would only interview helpers who have gone that route before and made it work. If your wife will want her starting early in the morning (when I had a newborn our helper took over childcare from 7-10/11am so I could sleep then) it is hard wake up and get in that early.

    In all honesty, with newborns (especially twins) your wife will likely want or need extra help sometimes at night, sometimes very early. In the first year a live in helper who can be available at a moment's notice can be very reassuring, even when you don't need to ask for extra help.
    carang and MovingIn07 like this.

  7. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by flameproof:
    You don't have pets, right?
    got a cat - but we have someone else to get in to deal with that.. I think a holiday makes everyone happier

  8. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by elliee:
    Living out isn't a great option for many helpers. If she hasn't lived in a boarding house before and isn't staying with friends, they can be a pretty terrible place to be. Cramped, loud, hot, dirty... none of which are restful conditions. Travel time may become an issue also, as her day will be longer if the her place isn't close. If you want someone to live out, would only interview helpers who have gone that route before and made it work. If your wife will want her starting early in the morning (when I had a newborn our helper took over childcare from 7-10/11am so I could sleep then) it is hard wake up and get in that early.

    In all honesty, with newborns (especially twins) your wife will likely want or need extra help sometimes at night, sometimes very early. In the first year a live in helper who can be available at a moment's notice can be very reassuring, even when you don't need to ask for extra help.

    yeh noted - it is definitely something we got to look at carefully.

    I am a nite owl = so sleepin in would be nice.. but maybe the midnight feeds are gonna be my turn? - i wanna bond with my kids too... i am sure they are helpful but i dont want my kid to be mournin a missin employee..

    havin said that I have no idea what I'm lettin myself in for... I have actually thought about quittin work myself for a while... not that i'm supa rich - but i could take a 'light year' in my business if i wanted

  9. #19

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
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    Clear Water Bay (In Da Jungle)
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    I went through the pain of getting a helper recently, after interviewing a Sh!t load of helpers we finally found one we liked and got all the paper work sorted, visa approved, she didnt even bother turning up to get the visa or bother to inform anyone, she must have found a better deal somewhere else, now we found another one and going through the visa approval, she is back in the philippines and waiting, my mrs is worried that she wont turn up as well, we message her once in a while just so that she knows we really want her.

    According to the agencies there is so much demand for helpers that the helpers can choose freely and even if they do agree to work, they can just resign anytime with 1 months notice. Agency said that the Philippine helpers are very smart where as the Indonesian ones are stuck with debt so they have to stay at one job for quite a while to repay it.


  10. #20

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    Check out also www.sassymama.hk for info in helpers. I wish I had one but my husband says I'm it....

    kimwy66 and Trance Omega like this.