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Do you eat together with

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  1. #11

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by Koen:
    Absolutely not 1-2. Yes to 3.

    The best way is to give DHs a food allowance or include it in the weekly shopping budget and let them get on with it. We don't socialise with the DH at all. In my opinion it's the quickest way possible to a confused, unhappy employer employee relationship.

    The DH cooks the food when asked and serves the food she doesn't sit down have a good chat and eat the food. Nor do they want to sit down and be ignored while everyone else is chatting freely and being relaxed and normal.

    This is where people who have never had DH go wrong when they get help for the first time. Then they start an endless round of complaining about the DH attitude, 'a real madam" "she doesnt seem to know who is the boss" "everything I do for her and this is what I get" "she always has a better idea everytime I tell her to do something" "Im spending a fortune on cheese..." "she seems to think Im working for her" blah blah blah it's to be heard loud and clear at every expat gathering across Hong Kong and mostly with maid in ear shot too. Because when they get guests guess what? The maid is suddenly eating in Kitchen.

    Of course they don't know where they stand, this is your own fault.
    not sure if serious...

    Those DH love to abuse the cheese purchasing. Absolutely love it.
    Last edited by shenwen; 29-09-2013 at 10:50 AM.
    jimbo and elle like this.

  2. #12

    Join Date
    May 2003
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    2,207
    Quote Originally Posted by Koen:
    Absolutely not 1-2. Yes to 3.

    The best way is to give DHs a food allowance or include it in the weekly shopping budget and let them get on with it. We don't socialise with the DH at all. In my opinion it's the quickest way possible to a confused, unhappy employer employee relationship.

    The DH cooks the food when asked and serves the food she doesn't sit down have a good chat and eat the food. Nor do they want to sit down and be ignored while everyone else is chatting freely and being relaxed and normal.

    This is where people who have never had DH go wrong when they get help for the first time. Then they start an endless round of complaining about the DH attitude, 'a real madam" "she doesnt seem to know who is the boss" "everything I do for her and this is what I get" "she always has a better idea everytime I tell her to do something" "Im spending a fortune on cheese..." "she seems to think Im working for her" blah blah blah it's to be heard loud and clear at every expat gathering across Hong Kong and mostly with maid in ear shot too. Because when they get guests guess what? The maid is suddenly eating in Kitchen.

    Of course they don't know where they stand, this is your own fault.
    Now I finally understand, it's all about the cheese...
    Fiona in HKG likes this.

  3. #13

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    Aug 2013
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    Hong Kong
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    Quote Originally Posted by elle:
    Now I finally understand, it's all about the cheese...
    This must be one of the most hilarious things, but so true.

    I remember about three years back, when we had a big family and friends dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. And the talk at one of the tables was about how one of the domestic hires had patiently stashed away some of the best portions of dried foods and herbs for herself. But before being fired, she panicked forgot to take the bags with her.

    So, our friend, she kept complaining and complaining about her live in maid. The rest of the table kept telling her how could she be so blind at not noticing these things. And said, the two large shopping bags just symbolizes how terrible her experience was with the worker. And wouldn't you know it, they only found out about the two bags because something really smelled bad.

    And wait ... you probably guessed it... "it was the cheese."
    Elegiaque and Fiona in HKG like this.

  4. #14

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    Jul 2008
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    My helper gets a specific cheese allowance which she signs for every month : that way there are clear boundaries about what cheese belongs to whom .
    She eats her cheese together with my daughter at meal times to answer the title of this thread

    Last edited by hongkong7; 29-09-2013 at 12:00 PM.

  5. #15

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    Feb 2013
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    Keon's right. You need to keep it cool but you need to remember its employer and employee. Don't try to be friends and over complicate things. You mess with her feelings and it's toothbrushes up bums...nobody wants that.


  6. #16

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    Sep 2013
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    Quote Originally Posted by shenwen:

    Those DH love to abuse the cheese purchasing. Absolutely love it.
    Yes they do and absolutely serious.

    If its no the cheese they are complaining about it's the ammount of clothes detergent, hand disinfectant, sugar, margarine, perfume, make up, even toilet paper that they seem to be abusing.........if its on tap why not?

  7. #17

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    Sep 2012
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    I pay my menial captive in magic beans...if she's lucky. That's what she eats although I refuse and do not allow her to feed anywhere near me.

    jimbo, closedcasket and elle like this.

  8. #18

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    Oct 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by Koen:
    Yes they do and absolutely serious.

    If its no the cheese they are complaining about it's the ammount of clothes detergent, hand disinfectant, sugar, margarine, perfume, make up, even toilet paper that they seem to be abusing.........if its on tap why not?
    Seriously you're that tight?

  9. #19

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    Sep 2013
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimbo:
    Seriously you're that tight?
    It's not me complaining read previous post. My maids are free to spend how ever much they want, which includes a generous food allowance which as they pointed out is subject to inflation and review.

    No one touches my caciocavallo podolico. Unless that is they've done something truly heinous.

  10. #20

    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    2,446
    Quote Originally Posted by Koen:
    Yes they do and absolutely serious.

    If its no the cheese they are complaining about it's the ammount of clothes detergent, hand disinfectant, sugar, margarine, perfume, make up, even toilet paper that they seem to be abusing.........if its on tap why not?
    Interesting comment. I use to have a Filipino lady clean my old flat for 2 hours a week and was always curious why the toilet roll used to literally half in size every week. Same with the kitchen roll. No idea what she was doing with the stuff!

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