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Hong Kong people pushy with how things are done?

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  1. #11

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    Is there an issue of "face"? They lose face if they give in to what you want and not what they want for you? Or they lose face if the customer tells them what to do/provide instead of being the one in charge to decide?

    It's very difficult for me to be pushy... at least in a polite way, and I feel it turns out the worst of me as I just get angry and grumpy at them. I guess I've got to learn... And I really don't feel like I have the energy/patience to have these sort of stupid conversations with people when I just need to get things taken care of. Like "I don't like how this bra sits." "No no no no, that cause cancer like that!" "No, I know how I want a bra to feel and I doubt you are really up to date on the latest research about cancer and bras..." ... Never mind the PHYSICAL pushiness in this case!


  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by wtbhotia:
    Be firm with the LL then, tell em this shit is not working, if you dont get it fixed properly then I will find a plumber myself and fix it and then deduct it from the rent owed to you.
    He's actually a very good landlord and would be completely open to that.... We wouldn't be any better at finding a plumber, and we'd be worse at communicating with one.

  3. #13

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    If you were a man OP, I'll say you need to grow some balls and be more insistent on what you want, whatever the other side think. I get the feeling people seem to push you around alot here. In HK, sometimes you can't always be so nice to people, especially when you are the ones paying the bills. I'm not saying you should be rude or abusive, but if you believe in something you must stick to it and don't worry so much about offending the other guy, after all, you are the one paying the $$$.

    But since you are a woman, I'll leave out the "balls" parts...

    Last edited by Watercooler; 17-10-2013 at 12:02 PM.

  4. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elegiaque:
    Can someone please offer some insight to the local culture for me.... I'm beginning to feel fairly "pushed around" by local people in shops or what not. Here are three examples:
    I've found that it's not so much that everyone is pushier, there's just a significant proportion of service people who simply cannot be arsed to do things slightly differently, or are just closed to different ideas, and will react to your requests with complete indifference or mechanical repetition.

    When you find these people, ideally just ditch them and keep looking for someone else. They're not worth spending time or money on.

    I can sometime be quite childish, and have on very rare occasions retaliated by doing something that will annoy them- just tell them to their face that they are a waste of time, preferably in front of other people so they lose face, and calmly walk off. If they get angry, it just makes them look sillier.

  5. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elegiaque:
    Is there an issue of "face"? They lose face if they give in to what you want and not what they want for you? Or they lose face if the customer tells them what to do/provide instead of being the one in charge to decide?

    It's very difficult for me to be pushy... at least in a polite way, and I feel it turns out the worst of me as I just get angry and grumpy at them. I guess I've got to learn... And I really don't feel like I have the energy/patience to have these sort of stupid conversations with people when I just need to get things taken care of. Like "I don't like how this bra sits." "No no no no, that cause cancer like that!" "No, I know how I want a bra to feel and I doubt you are really up to date on the latest research about cancer and bras..." ... Never mind the PHYSICAL pushiness in this case!
    Don't push, don't get angry - just walk away and take your business elsewhere.

    Although it might be difficult to find a shop that accommodates you it's not impossible.

  6. #16

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    Sep 2013
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    Welcome to HK~ Yes people are very pushy here, it's very annoying. Being nice gets you nowhere in HK. People will just take advantage of your kindness. You have to be firm with them. It doesn't hurt to be a bit rude sometimes. The people here can take it, they'll mumble and grumble, but once they know not to mess with you they will do their jobs.

    If you think bra sales people are pushy I suggest you stay away from facials. My god they are annoying. I got a discount facial coupon so I decided to try it out. I don't do facials very often, maybe only once a month. I have a bit of an acne problem now so the lady was trying to get me to join their package for weekly facials. I told her I'm not a fan of facials and she said I had to get weekly facials if I ever want to be pretty again and I shouldn't be so lazy. WTF?! Stupid facial lady who's probably never exercised a day in her life, I think spending $500 every weekend to lie down for 3 hours is pretty lazy. If I wanted to be lazy I can do that at home, in my comfy bed, for free.


  7. #17

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    Sep 2013
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    This sounds like the classic shoe shop senario. Only its bras and toilet flushers.

    You see something you like they rush off to get your size and come back with a completely different model smiling broadly. No you don't want that shoe so they rush off and come back with yet another model, this is their way of telling you they dont have your size. A sale is the mission.

    I think you're incredibly lucky to get your bras exchanged. We men aren't even allowed to try on undies and rightly so?

    I don't often get this problem as I know zero about plumbing, same about cars same about most things I need repaired otherwise I would do it myself. I only buy what fits and the company continues to pay for my car.

    Last edited by Koen; 17-10-2013 at 02:16 PM. Reason: typ

  8. #18

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    It is the HK autopilot. People work here in a kind of autopilot haze where they must follow their exact training guidelines to the TV for fear of getting in trouble or having to accept some kind of responsibility. The only thing that can brake that path is by berating them.

    All other attempts to break the path down the list of guidelines will result in a stall, a loop or a switch from understanding English to not understanding English until you give up and leave.

    Being nice won't work, suggesting other options won't work, explaining the flaw in their logic won't work, saying you will take your business elsewhere won't work. Only flat out berating will work.


  9. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by INXS:
    When I call a company and press '3 for English' and they say, "How can I help?", I say, "Please put me through to technical support.", they say, "Sorry! No have this product!"....I say, "Please put me through to somebody who can speak English!"......If they offer a call back I insist on a deadline.
    Normally it's always 2 for English, no wonder they can't understand you.
    INXS and Koen like this.

  10. #20

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    Nov 2009
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    There's a little bit of insecurity complex in play here.

    People like to feel important and this applies more towards people who aren't or work in what we think of lesser jobs. Dealing with the officer grade of the company you get this aggressive attitude. Get friendly and talk to them, they tell you they are super busy and are working on a million important things. Get into details and you understand they spend most of the time doing logistics and operations work. Which is important but not as complex.

    Talk to someone senior and they often down play their work and some buddies of mine even tell me that what they do could be learned within a couple weeks (which I'm sure is not when you are a capital markets solicitor or a derivatives trader).

    Most hk people are super defensive cause people have this overall culture of stepping down on people in raising their confidence or status. So people are forced to be on their guards 24/7 to protect themselves and their ego. It's a downward spiral.

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