If you don't mind me asking, how did he feel when he found out you were pregnant ?
I was in a similar situation where I was dating my GF for barely a year and and she got pregnant.
I can tell you that men go through a difficult phase when they unexpectedly find out they are going to be a father. It's often easy for women to disregard our feelings or opinions and making the pregnancy just about them and only including us when they feel like it.
I'll try to explain to you what I went through so that maybe you can get an idea about what's really going on inside your husband's head. I have a few friends that felt the exact same way that I did so it is probably safe to say that most men in this situation feel this way.
There are 2 major life changing decisions to make when this happens. First decision is about being a father, or not. Second is the mother of our child is the woman we want to spend the rest of our lives with. We may not have a choice on deciding to keep the child or not, but we definitely have a choice when it comes to taking responsibility or not.
It's hard to describe the feeling. I felt scared, confused, helpless, unsure, excited, worried all at the same time. The scale all of these emotions hitting me all at the same time made me push myself away from my fiance and everyone else. It was tough to deal with all these emotions I had, let alone have to deal with my pregnant finance's emotions. I could not be there for her emotionally because I was at the point of having a nervous breakdown. Thoughts were racing through my head, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I didn't want to talk to anyone, period.
It's not that I would question myself on wether I was going to be a good father or anything because I know I was going to be.
I think most of the emotions us men feel is mostly about the woman that is going to be the mother of our child. Don't get me wrong, I totally love her but deciding on spending my life with someone involves more thought that how I felt about her. I needed to consider if she was going to be able make the level of commitment to me as I would for her.
It took me 3 months to come to accept the pregnancy as a good thing and once this happened, I was able to set aside my confusions and doubts and be there for her and the baby 100%. I was able to treat her with all the love and affection that she wanted, and she was able to treat me with all the love, respect and appreciation that I needed. Now we had to decide on how to tell my parents!!
It was hard for both of us in the beginning. It took a lot of patience and surrender from my end, but I did not mind because always she let me know I was appreciated and loved. I could be that you do not see how much he has given up for you wether it be his ideals or dreams.
I think that things will change for the better once the baby comes. You are almost there just stay with it. I know its hard for you to deal with, but I would avoid any advice you've been given to separate from your husband or deny him the opportunity to be a great father to your child. It could be truth when he says you don't appreciate him enough. You might want to consider his feelings and try not to give him any reasons to resent you. It really sounds like you guys got married only because of the baby.
When you say
" he's extremely protective/unreasonable and will not let me have many friends, definately not guys. I used to happy and outgoing, I like to go out with friends and party etc but those days are long gone, he'll never let me out by myself."
You are a married woman now. It sounds like you expect to be able to do things as if you were single. You are a married and pregnant woman who wants to go out and party with guys by yourself. I can see why he would have a problem with this. Maybe you should invite him to come along and socialize with you.
"I dont know what is so great that he's provided for me. Even though I'm now 8 months pregnant, I still catch a cab and then change MTR to goto work. He makes meals for me but I'd usually need to wait until 10 to eat and so far this week, I got spagetti, minced beaf mixed with tomato egg and rice, fried noodles and a takeaway. "
Read what wrote and try to think about how unappreciative it would sound if he said that about you.
He might not be your prince charming, but you aren't exactly his cinderella either. You both hold a lot of resentment towards each other and sounds like you both contribute to it. That is something you both should have worked on before getting married, but I don't think you should give up yet. After the baby is born, you will both have a common interest that will help mend your relationship if you let it. I think its critical for you not to make any implications that the baby is yours any more than it is his. If you can do this then I promise you that your relationship will improve.