Like Tree16Likes

feel homesick in hong kong

Closed Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
  1. #1

    Thumbs down feel homesick in hong kong

    anyone got any advice on how to settle into hk or feel less homesick.

    my parents are chinese but i was raised abroad. i finished college last year and myself and my father decided to come ot hong kong for a while. even though my father is with me now, i feel very lonely and i dont feel like i get along with my extended family that well (cousins, aunts etc), and it makes me really anxious when we have those family getogethers. ive started doing some random charity work and have a job but im not really meeting new people, and the people i have met, i either dont see them again ( not that many regulars at volunteering) or else i dont like the people i meet, and we dont really click.

    i have a job now which is nice, but literally apart from working and volunteering and spending some time with my relatives i dont have friends tht i can meet up with, or do fun things like shopping or just going out for food or anything. been here over 2 months now and i feel like i should be making more progress, dont know if this is normal, or how long it took for people ot settle in, and if so how? i feel so sad, i feel so disconnected from people and its so annoying. ive spent time with my family but we just arent that close.

    Any help would be appreciated!


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    13,099
    Find your people - Meetup
    Lots of things to do whether you like to be active or sedentary. Get yourself out there regularly....
    HK_Katherine likes this.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    6,714

    Get away!


    Note the smog.


  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    NT/CUHK
    Posts
    910

    i went through somethign like what you're going through - it was Paris, not HK, but I was a recent grad living abroad w/ no social life.
    All I can really say is that 2 months really isn't that long a time. Keep at it. Put yourself in situations where you'll regularly see the same people. Hang out with people you don't like that much, because maybe they'll introduce you to people who are more interesting.
    College, it's super easy to meet people. after college, not so much.

    MandM! and East_coast like this.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    1,262
    Original Post Deleted
    jrkob and Titus like this.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    894
    Quote Originally Posted by bubblebear:
    anyone got any advice on how to settle into hk or feel less homesick.

    my parents are chinese but i was raised abroad. i finished college last year and myself and my father decided to come ot hong kong for a while. even though my father is with me now, i feel very lonely and i dont feel like i get along with my extended family that well (cousins, aunts etc), and it makes me really anxious when we have those family getogethers. ive started doing some random charity work and have a job but im not really meeting new people, and the people i have met, i either dont see them again ( not that many regulars at volunteering) or else i dont like the people i meet, and we dont really click.

    i have a job now which is nice, but literally apart from working and volunteering and spending some time with my relatives i dont have friends tht i can meet up with, or do fun things like shopping or just going out for food or anything. been here over 2 months now and i feel like i should be making more progress, dont know if this is normal, or how long it took for people ot settle in, and if so how? i feel so sad, i feel so disconnected from people and its so annoying. ive spent time with my family but we just arent that close.

    Any help would be appreciated!
    Two months is literally nothing in terms of letting you adjust. I'm a returnee myself and it was tough going the first three years even though I had my girl friend, now wife and mother of my son, with me. With the security of online anonymity protecting my manhood there were times when I was alone and almost to tears wondering WTF I was doing in HK when I had friends and a decent job after I grad and enjoyed my life back home versus working till 9pm 6 days a week in an office with no windows and getting shit all pay. But after 3 years it just almost clicked over night. I think making progress in a career helps you adapt in an explanation to yourself why did you give up another life for hk as most of us are here for the money lol and being fresh grad and back for just two months you won't be able to make the justification to yourself just yet. And friends will be made and lost as you progress in your career and move from company to company and grow older and wiser in the mean time. Just give it more time; but if you still feel like crap after two years then think about cutting the loss and move on.
    shri and ttcookie like this.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    12,323

    You are suffering from culture shock. Yes, it's a real thing. And 2 months is nothing. I have lived in 5 different countries now and I found that 6 months was the minimum needed to adjust, figure the place out, meet some people, and generally start to feel like "home".

    The first thing to do is just accept that you have it and are going to feel "at sea" for a while. (believe me, accepting it does actually help!).

    Second this to do is go and join meetup.com as suggested above because there are a LOT of things to do on there. Find something you enjoy, (for me it's hiking and playing scrabble), go along and just let things develop. Don't go "just to meet people". Go to do something you enjoy first and foremost and the rest willl follow.

    alanjg, Titus and Cwbguy like this.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    6,531

    I agree with the above posters. When I was in London right after graduating, I had no social network at all and was stuck at home all day looking for a job. People weren't really interested in engaging or getting together (other than going to the pub to get wasted), because people there generally already had their social networks and friends from uni. I have found Hong Kong much more forgiving in this regard thanks to things like meetup and plenty of people stuck in the same boat. Even if you can't make long-lasting friendships or feel you're not instantly getting buddies, you can be so active and there's a lot to explore and do (before you get fed up with the queues in Sai Kung on the weekend). Try watersports, for example, with the LCSD!

    Hang in there, it can get better! And if it doesn't, consider doing a grad course at one of the universities. (That'll instantly get you a network of friends!)


  9. #9

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    6,076

    I came here on my own, knowing nobody, and within a month I had loads of friends. Granted it was probably easier to meet people in those days, when nobody spent their entire waking lives staring at smartphone screens and ignoring the world around them.

    Titus, chingleutsch and wtbhotia like this.

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Tri-State
    Posts
    11,647

    Pursue activities you like. You'll be happy. You'll be at your best. You'll encounter people with whom you already have one thing in common. I've met people and made friends walking my dog, going out for meals (by myself), supporting my football club, etc. As many of the others have said two months is a very short period of time . . . it will take some more time and effort to find your happy corner of Hong Kong social life.

    Last edited by huja; 04-11-2015 at 01:03 AM.

Closed Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast