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Thinking about a second helper...

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  1. #1

    Thinking about a second helper...

    We are a family of two working parents and a toddler. We have a lovely helper who does a great job caring for the child and the household. We are now expecting a second child, and don't feel confident that our helper can handle all of the work by herself. She has worked in a team of helpers in the past but she's made comments suggesting that if she has to work with a second helper in future, she'd want it to be a relative from back home. I'm not really interested in hiring an unexperienced relative of hers given the young children involved. I've heard stories of helpers quitting when another kid arrives, or saying they are happy to work with a second but then bullying or fighting with the new one. It's just a level of stress we don't need.

    So - those who have hired second helpers to work with an established first one - any advice? Tips? And is it possible for US the employers to choose the helper without causing friction and drama? Or do we need to think about looking for a pair of helpers who have a track record and maybe saying bye to the current aunty.

    Thanks!


  2. #2

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    This is what I do with my staff (not helpers). I get the junior staff to review all the applications and interview the ones they think are appropriate. Then, having got a shortlist that the junior staff are happy with, I interview and make the final decision. That way 1) they all get a say and 2) I don't have to do all the legwork initially. I can imagine you could modify this approach for a helper and achieve your objectives.


  3. #3

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    As harsh as this will sound - what works in the professional workspace will not work in the home as they will be spending 24x6 together. One of our friends had two helpers (transitioning ..) and the new one bullied the old one into doing everything. When the old one left, the new one quit - saying that the workload was too much.

    There are petty issues of loans, finances, relationships, food, sharing living space and all that shit that you don't have to deal with in the workplace. If you do want to deploy workplace tactics, make sure the first one you deploy is a 360 review.

    Talk to some friends / employers who manage with multiple helpers and see how they work things out.

    SYPFamily likes this.

  4. #4

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    If you really like her, I would give her a chance and get her involved in the recruitment process. If there aren't any relatives in Hong Kong to hire, suggest she recommend a friend.

    Its so hard to find good people, and you have 1 so hopefully with the 2 of you working together you will find someone you both like.

    SYPFamily likes this.

  5. #5

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    i have rarely heard good stories about that simply because usually places are cramped and 24/24 7/7 the two of them with two babies, is in all fairness not easy to handle.

    As a starter, what kind of accommodation to you have? will they be able to both have their own room?


  6. #6

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    I've heard good and bad stories with families/friends working together, so its so hard to generalize. Really boils down to personalities.


  7. #7

    Thanks for the comments so far
    @shri the friends you had where it didn't work out, was the old helper involved in choosing the new one?
    @rani she has no relatives in HK so it's either a friend here, a relative from Phils (none of them have been overseas helpers from my knowledge), or we choose a candidate
    @Mat we have a good sized helper room with its own bathroom but yes it would mean bunk beds in there for them to share. 3 bedroom flat so with two parents and two kids the other rooms are taken up. I am not comfortable with helper and kids sharing a room. So it would be completely dependent on if my helper is willing to share the room. But she's said in the past she'd be OK with it.


  8. #8

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    It was a transition (the old helper was going to leave anyways). I mentioned this - just to bring out the fact that workplace relationships don't always match domestic arrangements.

    One thing, if your current helper has someone in mind that she wants to bring over and you hire someone else, then make sure your new helper is also not sabotaged. Just sayin...


  9. #9

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    Have you considered that it might be quite crowded in your apartment if you get a second helper ?

    If I were you I definitely consider helping/taking care of the kids when you are home and not solely relying on the helper taking care of the kids 24/7 except Sundays when she is off. She can probably take care of them alone,if you also help out when you can.


  10. #10

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    One thing to consider is hiring two speakers of the same language group. Where in the Philippines is your current helper from? From your current helper's point of view if she is going to work/sleep 24 hours with someone she would want someone she can trust - hence family or friend.

    Skyhook likes this.

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