My mom took her life a few years ago due to depression but no one knew about it until later. Thinking back about it, I guess there were clues. When she passed, I hated myself for not spending more time with her and treating her nicely as I always thought it was one of those menopause symptoms so I tried to avoid her whenever she wasn't feeling happy. Time has passed and I've gotten used to her not being around and I try to live my life in the way that she'd have wanted me to.
You hang in there. It takes some time to adjust. Having gone through the same, the miss doesn't end but you will feel better eventually and you will still feel your mom's presence and it leaves warm feelings, good memories. Take care of your sister and go through it together.
I lost both parents to cancer, two years apart. My beloved Dad was the first to succumb after way too many surgeries which robbed him of half his tongue, then part of his cheek and then finally half his jaw. He fought because my Mum said she couldn't live without him.
When it was my Mum's turn, she refused surgery, I supported her in this but the medical profession did their damnedest to try to get her to do the same as my Dad had endured. It took me to fight them as she was of that era that if a doctor told you something, you did it without question.
I think the hardest part was becoming an orphan. It's still an odd feeling. Our family fell apart after my Mum's death, greed very sadly came into the picture.
Be grateful your sister and you have each other and celebrate the love and gifts your parents brought to your lives. As others have said, it does become easier. The tears fall away to smiles when we remember special moments and the power of the legacy our parents leave behind.
My Dad, in particular, was very involved in the shipping industry and there are so many things here he was a part of - the Cross-Harbour Tunnel, Shun Tak Centre, even the new airport. I take great pride in knowing he made a real contribution to Hong Kong. Look for those things in your Mum's life. Her legacy to you and to others.
You will always miss your Mum and tears will come when you least expect them. I always think they come when I feel my parents' presence still close to me. They never really leave us, they just go into another dimension of our own existence.
Take comfort in knowing your Mum created you and you and your sister are two of the best things she ever did in her life. She would want you to move on quickly and continue living and finding happiness.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you Fiona and I'm very sorry to hear about your parents and the aftermath.
I feel like I still cannot believe it. I was just back home a month ago and she was doing well. On top of all this we are planning the funeral which is also a lot to do. Mom had some things planned and her wishes known but it's still a lot to go through.
It's so hard, I know. I had visited my Mum over Christmas, landed back in HK and was told she was in hospital so had to turn right around at the airport and get on the next flight back to UK. She passed away a week after.
Don't forget to breathe. Deep long breaths. You are going through a very hard part and it will be difficult in a different way when all the arrangements are over and everything is done. Be prepared to be hit hard at that point. Be there for your sister and she will be there for you. Only the two of you truly know what you are going through. Words seem so useless at this time.
Keep the happy memories strong and remember your Mum at her best.