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Should I get a Confinement Lady or a Helper?

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  1. #11

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    Note: if you don't drink the soups etc, then there is no point. The whole point of a confinement lady is to cook mostly specific food to help you recover well and quicker. If you don't drink/eat that, then no point.
    As a side she usually helps a bit with the baby and stuff but really what she does most is cooking these shit. That's why I also say, a few hours a day is enough.

    shri, LifeInHK and chuckster007 like this.

  2. #12

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    Making some assumptions here, so based on what my sister went through:

    Personality fit is also relying on who refer/recommend the candidate?
    if your Confinement Nanny is referred by your mother-in-law then you will most likely have a battle on your hands, since she will follow M-inLaw instructions .... just make sure that YoU are the one who made the decision, and that CNanny is NOT related to the in-laws (cousin from same village etc...)

    CNanny is helpful to you for baby care during the first 2 weeks, since you will need all the sleep that you can get. If the CNanny is Not willing to care for the baby overnight for the one full month, then she is useless.
    Make a list of the questions that you ask during the interview.

    My sister forgot to check that the CNanny is willing to care for baby overnight, so she had to find a new one on the second day. Tough cookies.

    Quote Originally Posted by jgl:
    I don't think that confinement ladies work overnight, but otherwise agree with that.

    We've had a completely fine experience with one, but were careful with the interview process to choose someone who had a personality fit. Hiring a mother/mother-in-law was the last thing either of us wanted.
    shri likes this.

  3. #13

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    My friend had one for her when she had her kid in HK, think her mom wanted her to get one, they didnt have a helper.

    We got a DH instead and the mother in law, DH helped with the daily household stuff, MIL made the soups, not that my mrs wanted to drink it but was told to LOL. I did all baby bathing as they were all too scared to handle such a little thing LOL. I had done my research on Youtube and it was fine, enjoyed bathing, changing the diapers, feeding the baby formula and burping her, rocking her to sleep on my belly, it was all fun fun fun, especially missing the poo missile that was squirted out when i lifted her legs to change her diapers. good memories.

    Get a DH instead to help with the household so that you can focus purely on your kid and rest, let the DH take over some of the baby stuff while u rest and not just dump the baby on to the DH over night, your husband needs to step up and help.


  4. #14

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    As Mat said, if you won't drink the soup there is no point. Making the soup is their main purpose.


  5. #15

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    Is there any proof for the effectiveness of these soups? What are they supposed to do that a normal healthy diet with plenty of rest won't achieve? What magic beans do they contain that science has shown will produce copious amounts of breast milk?


  6. #16

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    [QUOTE=kimwy66;3510214]Is there any proof for the effectiveness of these soups? /QUOTE]

    Tradition beats whatever u say it doesnt do, u could talk yourself blue at the Oldies about the soup being useless and they wouldnt give two fucks about you, I tried and failed LOL

    even regular Chinese soup with all kinds of stuff thrown in the pot and boiled for hours and they its good for this and that and they tried to force me to drink it and this is just for regular meals. holy shit did I have a battle with my Mother In Law lol


  7. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by kimwy66:
    Is there any proof for the effectiveness of these soups? What are they supposed to do that a normal healthy diet with plenty of rest won't achieve? What magic beans do they contain that science has shown will produce copious amounts of breast milk?
    It's not about copious amount of milks but in our cases, my wife did recover very quickly from her delivery (we have no way to know if she would/wouldn't have without since we only have one kid) using a confinement lady who helped cook but also provided idea/advice on how to handle the baby, which comes handy when it is your first one and you have no family around at all.

    Why do many western women exercise post delivery to get fit and healthier - or eat salad etc?
    Why do many western men and women take food complement, vitamin etc during their life and why many Chinese drink weird soup and rub herbs around their painful parts.
    Why do Chinese women use confinement ladies to heal quicker?
    Why do many western men and women use cream and stuff when Chinese men and women do acupuncture..?
    And If I go further I am sure Indians do sthg specific to their traditions post delivery, I am sure most Africans too and I would venture a guess than South American too.

  8. #18

    Wow. Imagine how all the mothers and fathers I know back home do it all on their own.

    Asians are so dependant on helpers of every kind.


  9. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Char Siu King:
    Wow. Imagine how all the mothers and fathers I know back home do it all on their own.

    Asians are so dependant on helpers of every kind.
    Look how fat and unhealthy American women are after they have kids. Because they have go to the supermarket a week after birth and back to work 4 weeks after. I think the Asians are onto something.

    (Note: I'm American!)

  10. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by Char Siu King:
    Wow. Imagine how all the mothers and fathers I know back home do it all on their own.

    Asians are so dependant on helpers of every kind.

    Seriously?
    It's not Asian being dependent on anything (and the worst is I am sure a post like yours will get lots of likes form the usual crowd...) .

    Back in the days the Mother of your wife would have cooked these soups like most western grandma would take care of their daughter.

    And by the way (Canadian right), the mother and father back home get a lot more in maternity and paternity leave and support from gvt....I know in France too...If we have 4 months off etc, things are different...