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Is it time to part ways with our helper?

  1. #41

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    猴山
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    10,021

    I guess the question is if you believe a financially illiterate, extremely poor person with lots of social pressures to send money home getting conned by lone sharks is a 'bad' person.

    You have a simple choice

    - Fire
    - Help

    One is much easier...

    Giving money is not really helping long term.


  2. #42

    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Hong Kong
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    3,364
    Quote Originally Posted by merchantms
    Money problems aren't her business because helpers have to give their employers' details to the lenders.

    My helper was late on her mobile contract and I got harassing phone calls every 15 min for 3 days.

    I know people who have had heavies knock on their doors at unsociable hours threatening them over outstanding loans.
    I also have provided employers details in the past when applying to borrow money including office phone number. Giving out mobile number might T me off a bit and I'd have a chat about that. But you can block numbers too and I don't get what they expect to get by calling you. Not your debt. Anyway just calm down.

    Heavies knock on doors? Are you living in a village house? I'd like to see that happen. Security is on the residents enough, I can't imagine an actual intruder.

  3. #43

    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    Hong Kong
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    3,364

    Don't try to solve their problems. This is the way DH's are. Also they usually don't come clean about the story, and it sounds fishy to begin with. Gets annoying. Different culture. Respect it, deal with it and move on. You can pay more to get someone with more skills if you're really that particular. Or as I know some employers pay extra so their DH don't have holidays or yappy time to get bad or cunning ideas.


  4. #44

    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    C U in the N.T.
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    1,284
    Quote Originally Posted by hullexile
    She thought the frying pan made them brown.
    Well, technically she isn't wrong
    East_coast likes this.

  5. #45

    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    1,256
    Quote Originally Posted by Kiz
    We have had issues with a helper who racked up nearly 200K in debt in a very short space of time and after she left we still had to deal with the multiple loan sharks and their triad henchmen (horrible experience) after discussions with policemen and lawyers we paid off the debt to move on with our lives. (She was a fantastic woman and our helper for 14 years before she got suckered into a scam - we tried our best to help her but the con men really had such a good grip on her it was useless.
    @MandM! one example. In my building if you follow someone in or look like a delivery man you can get inside.

  6. #46

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    600
    Quote Originally Posted by MandM!
    Or as I know some employers pay extra so their DH don't have holidays or yappy time to get bad or cunning ideas.
    Um....is that legal? (Apart from normal respect for employees as human beings and therefore not arbitrarily subject to home confinement )

  7. #47

    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    624

    Dear God, my personal slave is broken, what should I do?

    First world problem in HK

    Do what every other family do in the rest of the developed world, take care of your kids


  8. #48

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Pampanga, Philippines
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    14,743
    Quote Originally Posted by z754103
    Um....is that legal? (Apart from normal respect for employees as human beings and therefore not arbitrarily subject to home confinement )
    It is illegal, immoral and will not lead to a productive worker. MandM should report them.
    irisboards likes this.

  9. #49

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    2,974
    Quote Originally Posted by UK/HKboy
    Its both persons jobs to clear up the mess they made.. not just the husband or the wife's job...
    Yes, but how bloody often are men off the hook from this kind of responsibility, so much so that it wouldn't warrant comment. But here you remark how women are lazy about cleaning up after themselves. That is the problem. I completely agree with you about it being equally the responsibility of both men and women. Sadly, even in cases where whoever (man or woman) can pay for someone to take care of things for themselves, it will most likely always be a woman they pay to do it. It never really hit me until I came to Hong Kong how unequal the responsibilities of the home are and how women are seen as the "carers". The professional women I know in Hong Kong (minus HK_Katherine) have not just one but two helpers are home carrying the burden (not a husband).

    Sorry -- very off topic comment.

    Hope the OP can make a decision they feel comfortable with in the end. And I've also experienced how uncomfortable helpers are about discussing finances with their boss. So while you feel you maybe set the guideline that they must discuss first with you, they will simply feel so uncomfortable about it that they won't follow that. Perhaps you can find another approach? Just being friendlier in a way that might be our approach in the West doesn't seem to work in my experience...
    merchantms likes this.

  10. #50

    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    1,341

    There are lots of helpers out there and you need to be comfortable with the helper that you have.

    Again, there are lots of helpers out there and not all the helpers have money issues.

    I also had a helper with money issues. I sent her to Enrich and we helped out where we could. In the end, it really didn't matter how much money she had, she simply couldn't save money. We did not end up renewing her contract and our current helper is light years better.


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