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  1. #31

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    Well said HK Katherine.!...as we are not machines or mechanical in makeup . Humans are made up of emotions in one way or another and to deny those exist is a recipe for disaster in the short or long term. Whether we like it or not, to manoeuvre in this complex world you have to deal with people daily.

    shri and HK_Katherine like this.

  2. #32

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    Quote Originally Posted by Golem:
    No one SHOULD have to be there for anyone and THAT is often the problem. People expect to be rescued, bailed out or supported. Being helped by friends or family is not an absolute right, it's a privilege that should be appreciated and cherished instead of expected. Even more so when someone screws up.
    @Golem,

    I disagree. Parents need to be there for their children. I don't see how it's a privilege--I would say it's expected! I recently lost a parent, and my remaining parent was no where to be found (yet they are on social media saying I should have called them and they didn't know how to reach me -- complete BS as I contacted them first and they know where the house is - Aunts and Uncles just showed up, I didn't need to call and beg them). I consider it a privilege that my friends showed up to help with everything. But for the absence of someone closely related...completely unacceptable. There are times that you need to show up.

    You learn how you are really on your own--all the I'm here for you is a bunch of BS.

  3. #33

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    After all this drama-- I am off social media--deleted the apps from my phone. Feel much better too!!


  4. #34

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    Dec 2013
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    Quote Originally Posted by MandM!:
    After all this drama-- I am off social media--deleted the apps from my phone. Feel much better too!!
    Social media can be handy to keep in touch with relatives on the other side of the world. But the way it's used by many as an alternative to proper interactions leaves me worried about where society will end up.
    Coffeeblender likes this.

  5. #35

    Join Date
    Jan 2018
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    1,492
    Quote Originally Posted by MandM!:
    @Golem,

    I disagree. Parents need to be there for their children. I don't see how it's a privilege--I would say it's expected! I recently lost a parent, and my remaining parent was no where to be found (yet they are on social media saying I should have called them and they didn't know how to reach me -- complete BS as I contacted them first and they know where the house is - Aunts and Uncles just showed up, I didn't need to call and beg them). I consider it a privilege that my friends showed up to help with everything. But for the absence of someone closely related...completely unacceptable. There are times that you need to show up.

    You learn how you are really on your own--all the I'm here for you is a bunch of BS.
    I'm afraid we'll just have to disagree...once you are an adult, parents have completed their duties and the rest depends on the relationship you have. If the parents act in an undeserving way, children can ditch them and vice versa. There are a lot of people that feel you should support family no matter what, I am definitely not one of those. If I feel someone is constantly bringing harm or hardship into my life and there is no mutual respect, they are gone. Simple as that, life is too short.
    Coffeeblender likes this.

  6. #36

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    Mar 2009
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    Hong Kong
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    I found this article interesting and i though of it during this discussion about "expectations", especially of family.

    I personally think parents shouldn't expect a financial return for raising a kid. But i can see why the court made the decision because there was a contract signed.

    I think this is bad parenting but good business decision. haha!

    Taiwan dentist must repay mother for training fees - BBC News


  7. #37

    I doubt you will be going to his house/flat warming party lol


  8. #38

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    Quote Originally Posted by Golem:
    I'm afraid we'll just have to disagree...once you are an adult, parents have completed their duties and the rest depends on the relationship you have. If the parents act in an undeserving way, children can ditch them and vice versa. There are a lot of people that feel you should support family no matter what, I am definitely not one of those. If I feel someone is constantly bringing harm or hardship into my life and there is no mutual respect, they are gone. Simple as that, life is too short.
    I think you are both right - parents should be there for their children, and once grown up children should also be there for their parents. An expectation based on love. Unless the relationship has broken down then sod them.

  9. #39
    Quote Originally Posted by Golem:
    If the parents act in an undeserving way, children can ditch them and vice versa. There are a lot of people that feel you should support family no matter what, I am definitely not one of those.
    Not quite. You're bound by law to provide necessaries of life for your parents if they're unable to do so for themselves. You're free to do whatever until that point.

    Criminal Code
    Last edited by civil_servant; 21-02-2018 at 05:22 PM.

  10. #40

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
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    OP should tell his brother that it was fucked up what he did and to his own little brother and from now will not discuss or expect anything from him and tell him to never expect any help or anything from yourself. Tell it directly to his face in front of your mother.

    I would beat the shit out of my brother if he did that lol