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  • 5 Post By HK_Katherine
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Looking for a good child custody lawyer

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  1. #1

    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    54

    Looking for a good child custody lawyer

    Dear All

    Just wondered if anyone can refer me on a good child custody lawyer:

    Myself and my ex-partner (a local HK woman and we are not married), have a 6yo boy and in Feb this year, we both decided it was best for me to move out, which I have. Since Feb I have evidence that my son has been left home alone regularly for long periods (upto 8hrs at a time), even when was ill/ sick. I found this out as I hired a PI to follow her for a week, plus I have also followed her since Feb whenever I can.

    I have reported approx. 10 home alone instances to police and social services, both dragging depts their feet due to “insufficient evidence” (since no one had filmed the inside of the flat when my son was left home alone, per police), even though my son has confirmed on the film/ phone that he was home alone at the time.

    Social services have even had the cheek to push their responsibilities to the teacher at his primary school, saying that the teachers will check on my son daily – unbelievable! My reply to this was: the teachers are there to primarily teach and not monitor the welfare of a child, although they can help, if required.
    Both depts just will not help, adding that just give my ex more time to adjust and improve.

    Last week, apparently, the authorities have given my ex a stern and final warning and will monitor the situation but I cannot see how they will monitor this as most of the home alone instances happens after my son is asleep (ie late evening from 2300hrs onwards). Currently I am working night shifts therefore cannot see to this otherwise I would.

    If it wasn’t down to me doing my detective work then none of the above would have been discovered. On one home alone instance, she went to an illegal mah jong gambling den in the middle of the night and returned home around 7am to take my son to school, as if nothing had happened. The police responded by saying that since no one followed her into the mah jong place and saw her playing mah jong inside then no can do. We only had photos and film of her going into the place (this place had triads inside and out so we can only do so much in terms of filming).

    By law, since we are not married, my ex has full custody of my son and currently not allowing me visit him since I have reported her to the authorities.

    At the end of the day it is my son that is suffering and being neglected and the authorities seems not too bothered. There are signs of verbal and physical abuse also but again the authorities sighted that since no actual video footage and no one saw this happening then nothing they can do. I only have voice recordings of this happening. Needless to say I have zero confidence on the authorities now and will take matters into my own hands, legally of course.

    I have been quoted total of HK100K- 150K from lawyer in Central to take on a case like this and have been informed that it will be a long and nightmare-ish process, as one would expect.

    If anyone has been through any similar situations or have any advice good/ bad pls feel free to PM me.

    Many thanks in advance


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Manchester, UK
    Posts
    7,616

    Damm that situation sucks, unfortunately I cant help much but will give you a phone number of a lawyer mate of mine, maybe he can point you in the right direction.

    Best of Luck.


  3. #3

    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    6,320

    Have you discussed the custody arrangement with your ex? I mean you are not married, the only thing I can imagine is that you sue for paternal rights then custody battle. If you are working night shift, it doesn't make it sound like you are instantly a better fit to get full custody.

    I don't think it's worth the fight simply because I don't think you can win. The situation sucks and I feel sorry but unless you want to dump money into something that doesn't seem promising, not much more advice can be given. Hope someone else can chime in.


  4. #4

    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    12,282

    Why not offer to pay the cost of a DH for your ex-partner so that someone is around to look after the kid. If his welfare is your primary goal. Its not that expensive, should help and would give you eyes into the situation.

    MandM!, Jaz Paul, jimbo and 2 others like this.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Hong Kong
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    6,320
    Quote Originally Posted by HK_Katherine:
    Why not offer to pay the cost of a DH for your ex-partner so that someone is around to look after the kid. If his welfare is your primary goal. Its not that expensive, should help and would give you eyes into the situation.
    Yeah that's actually a great idea. And your money would go a lot further.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    24,162

    Have a think about what your end game is here? The situation you describe is very bad. Are you seeking to get custody of your child? Or are you looking to have your son taken into care, away from his mother? Or are you trying to make the mother act more responsibily?

    What are you trying to achieve? That will help shape your next move I think.

    HK_Katherine likes this.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    54

    thx chuckster much apprec

    thx m&m, yes have spoken to her and came up with some arrangement only for her to go back on her word, as with other promises she has made in the past. Have even offered a mediator but she does not want that.

    the lawyer seems to think i have a good chance cos of her past records with police, plus ongoing fraud case.

    just wanted a second lawyers opinion thats all thx

    yes we have had a dh in the past which resulted my ex in spending more time away (days at a time) and now that I dont live there anymore, who will watch over the maid & my son? if you get a good maid fine but if you dont then another issue/ problem.

    she just does not possess any basic parental skills whatsoever and seems not interested in looking after my son.

    found out during the weekends she will have her brother look after him all weekend and she is out playing mah jong. over the past easter holidays her idea of looking after my son was to ship him to her family back in china and leave him there for the whole of the holidays (2weeks) which I totally oppose to and stopped. tell me who would think of such a thing?


  8. #8

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    457
    Quote Originally Posted by TheBrit:
    Have a think about what your end game is here? The situation you describe is very bad. Are you seeking to get custody of your child? Or are you looking to have your son taken into care, away from his mother? Or are you trying to make the mother act more responsibily?

    What are you trying to achieve? That will help shape your next move I think.
    What you are trying to achieve is really key here - are you trying to get custody?

    Consider informing the school/teacher (in writing) about your concerns - they are all on high alert given some high profile child neglect cases recently.

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    54
    Quote Originally Posted by TheBrit:
    Have a think about what your end game is here? The situation you describe is very bad. Are you seeking to get custody of your child? Or are you looking to have your son taken into care, away from his mother? Or are you trying to make the mother act more responsibily?

    What are you trying to achieve? That will help shape your next move I think.
    Quote Originally Posted by answerer:
    What you are trying to achieve is really key here - are you trying to get custody?

    Consider informing the school/teacher (in writing) about your concerns - they are all on high alert given some high profile child neglect cases recently.

    Given her past police & pending fraud case, per my lawyer, the court should grant me some access to my son. ultimately i would like full custody but will be difficult but worth a try - if you dont ask then you dont get.

    also have to mention that btwn the ages of 1 to 5 i was looking after him full time and even quit my job for 2yrs to do so and she never complained once until this yr when we both decided it was best for me to move out. even when i was looking after him during this time she would go awol and not return for days and no calls/ updates from her - just comes and goes when she wanted to.

    In terms of the teachers, they know abt this also, as they have had visits from social & police plus we all had a meeting last week, but as mentioned they are there to teach and what goes on at home, they have no way of knowing. even the social are trying to pass the buck to the teachers saying that the teachers will monitor this daily for them

    my ex has even gone as far as teaching my son to tell lies to the police and teachers saying that there is always an adult with him at home at all times. she explained to him if he does not say this then the social worker will come and take him away for good - i have this on voice recording. again the police has heard these but apparently not enough evidence since its only a voice recording and not on film - ridiculous!