Like Tree74Likes

Expectations for Helper when looking after child?

Closed Thread
Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 LastLast
  1. #21

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Pampanga, Philippines
    Posts
    29,771
    Quote Originally Posted by jobin:
    Where is the helper's 'home country'? Might make a difference.

    Ya know, maids (a S'pore term) from one country might be much more child/family oriented than others. And from what i have seen, maids in HK come from either PI (nearly all christian) or Indo (nearly all muslim).
    Which of those religions is supposed to be more child orientated?

  2. #22

    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    687

    If you feel this way I would start interviewing new helpers. You have to feel comfortable and there are many out there who love kids and others more suited to taking care of pets. And as stated previously you almost need a certain type of helper for different stages of child development I have found. One really focused on the kids doesn't do so well with teenagers who need space. Interview many, check references and have the short list ones meet your child and see how they interact. And make the use of phone / internet clearly agreed and in writing.

    outkast_3000 and Kowloon72 like this.

  3. #23

    I love Hong Kong

    rkenia852 likes this.

  4. #24

    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    258

    If I were in your shoes I'd be looking at a new helper. If she's one way when she's with you and one way without then she's not genuinely interested in the kids. I would say (partly influenced by my own experiences) she's putting on an act of sorts.

    At the end of the day it's your kid and if you're not happy with something don't feel bad about trying to get the best you can for your kid, regardless what others may say. Be as demanding as you see fit to create the environment you want for your kid and you'll eventually end up with a helper that suits your needs.

    outkast_3000 and BCD like this.

  5. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by jobin:
    Where is the helper's 'home country'? Might make a difference.

    Ya know, maids (a S'pore term) from one country might be much more child/family oriented than others. And from what i have seen, maids in HK come from either PI (nearly all christian) or Indo (nearly all muslim).
    Religious discrimination, much? Clutching at straws now, are we?

  6. #26

    Respect other opinions and idea

    Hi Sir

    When you have signed the contract and make agreements on both sides parties. I think helper felt something wrong in your family. Please bear in your mind even you are the employer and you pay the wages fairly you have the expectation and surely she have expectations from you too. You mentioned her contract is about to finish have you tried to talk to her about renewing the contract?

    Its been a while since she serve to your family.

    A helper spend a lot of money to process papers to come here in Hong Kong.
    If a helper is a mother she sacrifice her life being away to take care another child than her own.

    No harm feelings I'm just trying to help to realize your situation as you having a doubt in helpers duties.

    If a helper treated as one family she will perform the standards of your qualification. Since you haven't courage to tell her about your concern I think she doesn't feel comfortable in your family and she will just bearing with your family until she finish and find another.

    Honestly speaking if cctv is for the security it means you are not able to trust a stranger to look after your child.

    Before you criticise the way we handle our responsibilities you as a employer must know also what is the expectation of your helper from you.

    I hope it doesn't rude or arrogant the way I am explaining our side as a helper.

    I am a mother of 5 and its really hard to think that I am taking care of other family over my own family. Yes its true we gain money but at this point I am talking here as a parents too.

    We feel the same way when we left our own children. But if the trust to other people is virtue and can't easily give better to look after your own family than to seek money to support the family needs.

    Godbless


  7. #27

    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Posts
    2,164

    Get CCTV.

    If you're worried look after your child yourself or find another helper.


  8. #28

    Just a quick update on this situation.

    We let the domestic worker referred to in the original post go last week. There were several months remaining on the contract, but I essentially paid out the remainder of the contract and then some. She ended up making more money on the entirety of the contract than if I had just kept her on. Of course, she still asked for more money, but considering this was her first job in HK, she probably didn’t realise the deal she was getting here. I also ended up writing a letter of reference that was neither glowing or damning. I merely stated the length of time she worked here and outlined her work duties while employed. I fibbed and said we were letting her go due to relocation - which is a lie, and something I partially regret now.

    Nevertheless, I decided on all this with with some of the responses of this thread in mind - maybe it was just a poor fit, maybe I was a poor communicator, maybe my expectations were out of line, etc. I still felt that there was someone who’d be a better fit for my family and indeed, we’ve found someone who is much more in line with what I hoped I’d be getting from the previous domestic worker. It cannot be properly articulated how different this household is now compared to before for the better.

    With that being said, I’ve learned that these things are about fit and hopefully my former domestic worker finds a better family for her as well to work for. I’m assuming she’s already found work since she said she’d call me if she had to go back to the Philippines because she wanted to discuss a bit more about travelling money which I had disagreed to in the moment. She never called.

    45K to terminate the previous worker, and an additional 20K to get my current domestic worker here under coronavirus conditions (14 day hotel isolation, 3 meals per day during isolation, testing, etc.). Not an insignificant amount of money lost, but for our new helper who has been fantastic with my daughter in the short time she’s been here makes it all worth it.

    For those who sense in their gut something is off...my recommendation would be to follow that instinct.


  9. #29

    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    1,972
    Quote Originally Posted by outkast_3000:
    Just a quick update on this situation.

    We let the domestic worker referred to in the original post go last week. There were several months remaining on the contract, but I essentially paid out the remainder of the contract and then some. She ended up making more money on the entirety of the contract than if I had just kept her on. Of course, she still asked for more money, but considering this was her first job in HK, she probably didn’t realise the deal she was getting here. I also ended up writing a letter of reference that was neither glowing or damning. I merely stated the length of time she worked here and outlined her work duties while employed. I fibbed and said we were letting her go due to relocation - which is a lie, and something I partially regret now.

    Nevertheless, I decided on all this with with some of the responses of this thread in mind - maybe it was just a poor fit, maybe I was a poor communicator, maybe my expectations were out of line, etc. I still felt that there was someone who’d be a better fit for my family and indeed, we’ve found someone who is much more in line with what I hoped I’d be getting from the previous domestic worker. It cannot be properly articulated how different this household is now compared to before for the better.

    With that being said, I’ve learned that these things are about fit and hopefully my former domestic worker finds a better family for her as well to work for. I’m assuming she’s already found work since she said she’d call me if she had to go back to the Philippines because she wanted to discuss a bit more about travelling money which I had disagreed to in the moment. She never called.

    45K to terminate the previous worker, and an additional 20K to get my current domestic worker here under coronavirus conditions (14 day hotel isolation, 3 meals per day during isolation, testing, etc.). Not an insignificant amount of money lost, but for our new helper who has been fantastic with my daughter in the short time she’s been here makes it all worth it.

    For those who sense in their gut something is off...my recommendation would be to follow that instinct.
    She knew what she was doing when she tried to extract more money from you. They all compare notes and trade tips. As long as you set performance standards upfront, if they are not being met you need to first warn. If not improvement, then just like any other employee you need to let them go. You did the right thing in making a change IMO.

  10. #30

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Pampanga, Philippines
    Posts
    29,771
    Original Post Deleted
    It is a good idea to read the other posts before posting.
    jgl, Flapster and rkenia852 like this.