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Helper issues

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  1. #1

    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Sai Kung
    Posts
    2,770

    Helper issues

    I’ve been on here enough times defending the rights and issues of helpers. Now I have a situation of my own for which I need help from the Geo masses.

    My new helper is less than 3 months into her contract. She is late 30s and experienced. She asked me a few weeks back for a loan (and not a small one at that). She’s now asked for a 3 month advance and I know she has also currently borrowed money from my gf (against my advice). My helper doesn’t know I know about this.

    I had money issues with 2 previous helpers and my ex gf (of 4 years plus) buggered off with 40K that I’ve written off. I think she’s robbing Peter to pay Paul but I’m not getting into the middle of all that again.

    I know she’ll probably end up going to a shark and getting utterly ripped off but I’m determined not to get involved again. If I’m honest I’m actually sitting here fuming when I should be working.

    Over to you wise sages!


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Posts
    697

    how about a simple "no"

    tura, aw451, ramelec and 1 others like this.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    11,749

    Fire her. Save yourself a lot of hassle in the long run.

    If she's borrowing already she has a lot of baggage.

    Hkemail888 and Bettsinhk like this.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Posts
    697
    Quote Originally Posted by HK_Katherine:
    Fire her. Save yourself a lot of hassle in the long run.

    If she's borrowing already she has a lot of baggage.
    thats kinda harsh. do you fire everyone one of your staff if they take out a loan?

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    14,917

    A firm no and then probably time to let her go I am afraid. More worry than its worth. Seems this helper has form.

    BCD likes this.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    11,103
    Quote Originally Posted by ByeByeEngland:
    My new helper is less than 3 months into her contract. She is late 30s and experienced. She asked me a few weeks back for a loan (and not a small one at that). She’s now asked for a 3 month advance and I know she has also currently borrowed money from my gf (against my advice). My helper doesn’t know I know about this.
    First sentence and then each point after that, huge red flags. You... pretty much already know this is going to play out in a small number of ways, none of them good.

    Not sure if you had this talk at the commencement of her employment- did you make it explicit and absolutely clear that this employment relationship would not involve loans? It's something we have always stated from the outset in order to avoid being drawn into drama, though we have been willing to relax this with loans or outright gifts once the parties get to know each other.

    Not trying to give you a hard time here, but this is such a common problem in this sort of situation that it really behooves you to manage it before it even crops up.
    Elegiaque and BCD like this.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    5,856

    It's kind of none of your business what her finances are (would you like your employer knowing about loans etc?). If you've only known her less than 3 months, you haven't yet had time to establish a relationship with her and get to know her. If you're posting, then it seems you're uncomfortable with lending. So, I would just say no and that you are not open to lending (at least at this stage in her employment). Keep it professional and clear. As long as she does the job that's been outlined to her and meets expectations, what's happening to her personally because of her financial business is none of your business. If her personal issues start to effect the nature of her work, then that's a different matter.

    On the other hand -- maybe consider your interviewing process and relationships post hiring, so that you can stop this from happening again. Clarify at the interview if there is any loan histories you should know about and that you will not be giving loans.


  8. #8

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    696

    Loan sharks will get the money out of you if she doesn't pay them. My parents ended up in a right mess due to their helper getting into loads of debt. Parents talked to the police, lawyers etc in the end everyones advice was pay them, fire her and move on with your life. Expensive lesson. It was not a small amount of money.

    She was a fantastic helper for many, many years then got suckered by some con-men and the poor thing got totally brainwashed and taken for a ride and lost everything (although she still thought her 'boyfriend' was going to give her loads of money when she went to meet him in KL I think it was. My parents even had the police have a chat to her and explain it was a con, but she was convinced it was all true and there was no talking sense back into her). Those guys are filth, they stole everything from her with those lies.

    Seriously, 3 months. If you keep employing her there is no way this doesn't end badly. Who needs that stress.

    For those who say why does it matter her financial situation, your boss doesn't need to know your finances. Yeah your boss also won't have the loan sharks harassing them 24 hours a day if you don't pay your bills. It is not the same at all.


  9. #9

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    11,103

    The line kind of blurs with this kind of situation, it's not really a 'none of your business' thing as the OPs girlfriend has already lent money, so this has crossed well over into the personal life already. And secondly, one of the ways this seems to play out whenever it crops up is that the employer starts getting nasty calls at home from loan sharks.

    Elegiaque likes this.

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    467

    Sorry to say you have being used by your helper.


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