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Is my wedding too expensive?

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  1. #121

    Join Date
    Mar 2021
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    947
    Quote Originally Posted by ndt:
    Time is the greatest equaliser in the long run but money is the greatest pacifier in the short run..

    Dont just pay 88k in dowry, make an extra lai see of 1k and give it as cherry on top saying this is an important custom in your culture and then see little extra 1k goes 100k miles..
    Nah, fuck that. That 88k would go a long way for newly weds. If MIL can't understand that, then she can do one.

    The only red envelopes given out at my wedding went firmly in our pockets.

  2. #122

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    11,597

    The amount of manly chest-thumping in this thread is off the charts.

    ndt likes this.

  3. #123

    Join Date
    Aug 2022
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    22

    main question is why are you asking?


  4. #124

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Ex Sai Kunger Sunny Qld for now
    Posts
    8,205

    Interesting reading as to how complicated 'some' people make their lives.

    Getting married is a celebration, which is what we did. We hired a French restaurant for 100 guests, I pre purchased ( via a wholesaler) and supplied all of the champagne and red wine. Even got some of our friends who don't usually drink, with the help of my real estate mogul uncle in law, got everybody legless drunk! Even the restaurant owner said it was the best party they'd ever held. All up our entire wedding, reception and pre dinner outdoor bar drinks was $120,000hkd and we received a little more than that in Lai See ( red packets ).

    When I watch the video of our wedding and especially mid way through the reception and how drunk we all were, it was an absolute scream of a night. I have to say it really was the best wedding I've ever attended and it was my own! lol.

    We've been married 14 years now, love the global adventures we've been on and wouldn't trade my wife for anybody. We've always been a good team and my wife never saw herself as a dependent, a pet, or me as a meal ticket, as we both came from equally wealthy family's. I think that has been the key to our success as we never financially relied on each other, just pooled our resources and made a good life without being wasteful or ostentatious about it, especially these days.

    Also, one thing I did learn if you want to save money at your wedding, is to not mention that you need things like flowers for a ' wedding' you just need flowers for a birthday party and you'll save over 50%. The moment you do is when the price triples!

    At the end of the day, as long as everybody invited has a good time and can barely walk straight to their taxi's at the end of the night, then it was a successful/memorable night.!

    I should point out that I didn't have a living Mother or Father in law at the time, so that's possibly why we had no issues with crafting our own night that cost a modest amount, but got A LOT of bang for the bucks! lol

    Always remember, it is YOUR wedding, nobody else's!

    Last edited by Skyhook; 30-09-2022 at 08:38 AM.
    aw451 and GreenCatalonia like this.

  5. #125

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Pampanga, Philippines
    Posts
    27,843
    Quote Originally Posted by Skyhook:
    Interesting reading as to how complicated 'some' people make their lives.

    Getting married is a celebration, which is what we did. We hired a French restaurant for 100 guests, I pre purchased ( via a wholesaler) and supplied all of the champagne and red wine. Even got some of our friends who don't usually drink, with the help of my real estate mogul uncle in law, got everybody legless drunk! Even the restaurant owner said it was the best party they'd ever held. All up our entire wedding, reception and pre dinner outdoor bar drinks was $120,000hkd and we received a little more than that in Lai See ( red packets ).

    When I watch the video of our wedding and especially mid way through the reception and how drunk we all were, it was an absolute scream of a night. I have to say it really was the best wedding I've ever attended and it was my own! lol.

    We've been married 14 years now, love the global adventures we've been on and wouldn't trade my wife for anybody. We've always been a good team and my wife never saw herself as a dependent, a pet, or me as a meal ticket, as we both came from equally wealthy family's. I think that has been the key to our success as we never financially relied on each other, just pooled our resources and made a good life without being wasteful or ostentatious about it, especially these days.

    Also, one thing I did learn if you want to save money at your wedding, is to not mention that you need things like flowers for a ' wedding' you just need flowers for a birthday party and you'll save over 50%. The moment you do is when the price triples!

    At the end of the day, as long as everybody invited has a good time and can barely walk straight to their taxi's at the end of the night, then it was a successful/memorable night.!

    I should point out that I didn't have a living Mother or Father in law at the time, so that's possibly why we had no issues with crafting our own night that cost a modest amount, but got A LOT of bang for the bucks! lol

    Always remember, it is YOUR wedding, nobody else's!
    Not a drop of alcohol at mine, just drunk on happiness.
    Morrison, snjt and BraveRis like this.

  6. #126

    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    Posts
    947
    Quote Originally Posted by jgl:
    The amount of manly chest-thumping in this thread is off the charts.
    How do you work that out?

    You prefer weak men who capitulate to financial blackmail?
    snjt likes this.

  7. #127
    Well, you are a HK-born local, and you are marrying a local Chinese HK girl, so I doubt you have a strong argument to disregard local customs and skip the dowry.

  8. #128
    Quote Originally Posted by reprazent:
    That's what I paid. Having said that, 88k is pretty normal for locals to pay. But you aren't a local, I think your fiancee should help negotiate it down for you. If they won't budge then make sure they agree that you can claim all the red pockets/lai si given at the banquet. if you don't her family will run off with it guaranteed (normally her guests will give the red pockets to her parents) Another way is pay less or no dowry, and they get to keep their share or all the red pockets.

    going back to your cost breakdown: 160k + 88k dowry = 248k, then that everything else is 352k? That's a lot. I'm sure you can save money there. what's with the gold for the bride? the gold she'd be wearing should be gifts from family, not from you. Gold is hella expensive these days, and she'll only wear it once. not worth it if you ask me, ask your fiancee if she wants to walk around like a golden pig. If she insists (or her mother) you might want to consider renting jewelry, totally normal these days. good luck!
    It's racist to say he's not a local just because he's Indian. Even if the reason is to avoid paying dowry.

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