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Any way to manage child care without a helper?

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  1. #11

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    I was opposed to a helper, until about 10 minutes after she arrived and for the first time in months, I had a moment to myself.

    I think there are ways you can make something like this work, perhaps looking at a part-time helper (which is more expensive) or a helper that is assigned more limited duties, i.e. taking care of you rather than taking care of the baby. When you are dealing with a newborn, you don't also need to be dealing with the laundry, the grocery shopping, washing the car, cleaning, etc. A helper can lift those things off of you giving you more time to deal with your child or just rest. You may also look at an apartment with a better more isolated area for the helper so they don't come off as being around all the time.

    Honestly--as painful as it may be to your personal space, a helper in at least the first six months of your new arrival will make things much, much easier.


  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by MABinPengChau:
    There are some daycare centers but they cater to local HK folk. Advantage-your child will be fluent in Cantonese and will be able to translate for you in the future- and be able to attend Canto-speaking low cost DSS schools.
    a no for most expats
    MABinPengChau likes this.

  3. #13

    We went through the same issue when we had our first child and concluded that hiring a live in helper was the only viable alternative to one of us quitting our jobs. It took a few months to get comfortable with our helper but it worked out well for us and we become quite comfortable with the extra person living in our house.

    rkenia852 and Mrs. Jones like this.

  4. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by rs4:
    a no for most expats
    Yeah, that was kind of my point...

    Also, they don't have great hours like 8-5 or 8-6 and most are located in decidedly non-expat areas like Sham Shui Po, etc.
    rs4 likes this.

  5. #15

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    you could hire a chinese confinement nanny for the first few months...expensive and they tend to tell you what to do but hey, it's an option


  6. #16

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    HK has very limited full-time childcare options. Nurseries for infants are really for people who don’t have extended family or can’t afford a helper.

    Your options are:
    - full time domestic helper
    - live-out nanny: these are mostly Chinese women (who speak limited English) or western women who charge an absolute fortune. But they don’t have to live with you.
    - someone quit job: seems like not a great financial or career choice long-term just because you don’t want a helper

    People always focus on babies but there is also not a system of after school care like in many Western countries, so even with a primary school kid, who is going to pick them up and watch them from 3 PM to 6/7 PM whenever parents get home? Going to need a helper for that too.


  7. #17

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    Also, if it makes you feel better about having a helper, there is plenty of research that developmentally for babies and young children, having one on one care from a loving adult to whom the baby can become attached, is really the best option for a childcare alternative if it's not viable for parents or relative to provide that full time care.


  8. #18

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    Get a helper, one of you quit work, grandparents come from overseas and stay with you for a while, leave Hong Kong. There are plenty of options! But you cant have things the same as before. Kids have a way of changing your life forever.


  9. #19

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    there are full day schools with before and after school care. this is one of them

    聖公會聖雅各小學 S.K.H. St.James' Primary School


  10. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Beanieskis:
    Also, if it makes you feel better about having a helper, there is plenty of research that developmentally for babies and young children, having one on one care from a loving adult to whom the baby can become attached, is really the best option for a childcare alternative if it's not viable for parents or relative to provide that full time care.
    This research is well established and would be better socialised/accepted in western countries if it didn't imply criticism on those parents who elect to drop pre verbal infants into institutional care.

    I agree that based on this research having a helper appears better for children's development / attachment than daycare. But anyone electing to go with a helper to prevent loss of income needs to have an honest think about:

    - How you will feel if the infant develops a stronger attachment to the helper than the mother during the most important developmental period of their life?
    - How do you feel about the primary caregiver of your infant child (possibly) having very different cultural background, linguistic background, social background during the most important developmental period of their life?
    - What is the impact on your infant if their primary caregiver disappears from their life without notice (eg, decides to change employer or return to home country etc) during the most important developmental period of their life? How would that impact their ability to form secure attachments?

    Not typing the above to imply criticism of those who choose finances/convenience in the helper debate. Those points are both very important and I'm not attempted to downplay them. Just saying as someone who both grew up in HK (and know a lot of children now adults raised, in essence, by helpers) and subsequently had children in HK, I strongly believe that the above points don't get enough weight in most parents' cost benefit analysis. Perhaps because they are less tangible and immediate than losing half your household income and being horrible tired and stressed all the time while everyone who 'just gets a helper' seems to be living life as normal.
    TheBrit likes this.