Nobody is confused about what you are trying to do here - I am asking you to stop trying to be-little how a culture is and get along with yourself. When Chinese people eat togethe amongist friends, they do not DIG (like a bunch of animals, fighting to get to a - as you call it - "target" on a plate and choksticks do not rub against eachother...maybe you need new people to dine with?
I am the one who is feeling sorry for you for not understanding that you are infact offending the others who are contributing to your thread...