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write to judge in family courts in divorce case by x dragging on 3+ years

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  1. #1

    write to judge in family courts in divorce case by x dragging on 3+ years

    l want to write to judge, in our divorce case which has dragged on for 3+ years now. any suggestions of what to write? l want to inform the judge that this case is straight in your face day light robbery being legalised. x is from the mainland where we met. x was working in an adult sex massage shop. x has pushed this case as far as it can go taking advantage of public funded Legal Aid , knowing it is 'free' l am completely dependent on money from my rented property, as cannot work. l have tried to work after my accident to no avail. just months ago, a MRI brain scan by Consultant Neurologist confirming my brain is damaged leading to memory and cognitive problems.l have to pay for caretaker, who is assisting in everyday essentials, children's daily needs, schooling. the court fees are literally dwindling all my resources requiring me to borrow from brothers.how can writing to judge, yes not normal, be damaging to my case, making them less sympathetic?


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
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    you should ask rafi for advice

    shafiq and newhkpr like this.

  3. #3

    Join Date
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    You cannot write ex-parte communications to the judge. The judge will scold you if you do so. Do you have a lawyer? If not, I can recommend a decent solicitor that wont rinse you on fees. Or otherwise, you could act as a litigant in person. Lots of divorcees act in person to save money, but that wont help your claim that you are brain damaged.

    hullexile, Mart1983, shri and 1 others like this.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Dec 2015
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    161
    Quote Originally Posted by Lester08T:
    l want to write to judge, in our divorce case which has dragged on for 3+ years now. any suggestions of what to write? l want to inform the judge that this case is straight in your face day light robbery being legalised. x is from the mainland where we met. x was working in an adult sex massage shop. x has pushed this case as far as it can go taking advantage of public funded Legal Aid , knowing it is 'free' l am completely dependent on money from my rented property, as cannot work. l have tried to work after my accident to no avail. just months ago, a MRI brain scan by Consultant Neurologist confirming my brain is damaged leading to memory and cognitive problems.l have to pay for caretaker, who is assisting in everyday essentials, children's daily needs, schooling. the court fees are literally dwindling all my resources requiring me to borrow from brothers.how can writing to judge, yes not normal, be damaging to my case, making them less sympathetic?
    Really sorry to hear about your situation. Going through a divorce is not pleasant, especially if the other person is being unreasonable and not open to mediation. I'm not sure what good writing a letter to the judge will do. If you know for a fact that it will help your case, I guess go ahead. Personally, I would refrain from doing this. I appreciate your emotions may be all over the place too. Perhaps it would be better to focus on something else over the weekend and think again about writing this letter next week.

    In regards to your money situation, I have an idea that could help. I understand that there are some law firms in the city, including some top ones, who won't officially represent you in a divorce case but can act as a guide in the background. They can help you with each step of the divorce proceedings, like getting the right documents. But you will do all the heavy work such as filling in documents, writing letters, delivering documents to the correct departments and of course appearing for any court appearances. I don't know what kind of fees they would charge to remain in the background and essentially act as consultants, but I do know it would be considerably cheaper, though I appreciate you may have some memory and cognitive problems so this idea might not be suitable. For anyone else who is potentially looking down the barrel of divorce and wants to save money, could be something to consider.

  5. #5

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    As an aside, I read from your earlier posts that you are a HK PR. That being so, have you applied for disability allowance, and disabled status as a result of your head injury? This would get you a (smallish) amount of income, a $2 Octopus (if you don't already qualify for a JoyYou card) and some other benefits.

    Also if your head injury was the result of a traffic accident then there is a compensation scheme.

    nivek2046, hullexile and Apjace like this.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by aquaman:
    you should ask rafi for advice
    who is rafi?

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by big_panda:
    You cannot write ex-parte communications to the judge. The judge will scold you if you do so. Do you have a lawyer? If not, I can recommend a decent solicitor that wont rinse you on fees. Or otherwise, you could act as a litigant in person. Lots of divorcees act in person to save money, but that wont help your claim that you are brain damaged.
    yes l do have a lawyer, costing me an arm and leg but i think it is the going rate. last lawyer was awful in service and price. so new lawyer is already better but far from ideal
    why would the judge scold me, l thought most likely, at worse, they will just throw the letter in the bin. so you'd think it would make the judge prejudiced against myself making it more likely x will be awarded more of my assets?

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Mart1983:
    Really sorry to hear about your situation. Going through a divorce is not pleasant, especially if the other person is being unreasonable and not open to mediation. I'm not sure what good writing a letter to the judge will do. If you know for a fact that it will help your case, I guess go ahead. Personally, I would refrain from doing this. I appreciate your emotions may be all over the place too. Perhaps it would be better to focus on something else over the weekend and think again about writing this letter next week.

    In regards to your money situation, I have an idea that could help. I understand that there are some law firms in the city, including some top ones, who won't officially represent you in a divorce case but can act as a guide in the background. They can help you with each step of the divorce proceedings, like getting the right documents. But you will do all the heavy work such as filling in documents, writing letters, delivering documents to the correct departments and of course appearing for any court appearances. I don't know what kind of fees they would charge to remain in the background and essentially act as consultants, but I do know it would be considerably cheaper, though I appreciate you may have some memory and cognitive problems so this idea might not be suitable. For anyone else who is potentially looking down the barrel of divorce and wants to save money, could be something to consider.
    During our 10 year marriage, x has had multiple affairs. I stupidly remained loyal the whole time. x is the petitioner and not open to mediation, hell bent in only accepting 50% of my assets, which shouldn’t be allowed as I look after the children. The children refuse to stay with x. X had taken it to court just for their new school which requires higher fees which could only be paid through my assets. X has all my assets locked up in court. Was a relief when the court allowed release of the sum required for the children’s school fees.
    I don’t know for a fact that it will help my case, but if the judge does read it he may have a better understanding. For certain if he has a heart. This has been at least a couple of years of weekends now. Lawyer ‘empathises’ my deep hurt, but reluctant i write and said it’s not normal to do that. I Just need judge to know this is not just 'run of the mill' divorce, but daylight robbery allowed to happen by a deceiving cheating monster

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Dec 2015
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    161
    Quote Originally Posted by Lester08T:
    During our 10 year marriage, x has had multiple affairs. I stupidly remained loyal the whole time. x is the petitioner and not open to mediation, hell bent in only accepting 50% of my assets, which shouldn’t be allowed as I look after the children. The children refuse to stay with x. X had taken it to court just for their new school which requires higher fees which could only be paid through my assets. X has all my assets locked up in court. Was a relief when the court allowed release of the sum required for the children’s school fees.
    I don’t know for a fact that it will help my case, but if the judge does read it he may have a better understanding. For certain if he has a heart. This has been at least a couple of years of weekends now. Lawyer ‘empathises’ my deep hurt, but reluctant i write and said it’s not normal to do that. I Just need judge to know this is not just 'run of the mill' divorce, but daylight robbery allowed to happen by a deceiving cheating monster
    I think it’s unfair to call yourself “stupid” for remaining loyal in your marriage. It may not mean much, but at least you didn’t stoop to her level.

    You have my sympathy when it comes to your assets and the unfairness that you feel. My partner petitioned for a divorce last year. Before I received it, I remember messaging her trying to open dialogue but she wouldn’t reply. When she did, it was “speak to my lawyer” (she hired one of the top international divorce lawyers in the city which my c**t FIL tried to scare me with. He’s a real piece of shit, but that’s another story). After I got served, that’s when I realised asset wise I was stupid to not protect myself. I really should have drawn up a pre-nuptial agreement. But I never thought we would ever get to the point of divorce (again, I'm stupid). Who I thought she was before marriage is completely different to the person I know now. The divorce never happened but it was definitely a wakeup call for me. Like yourself, legally my partner can get her hands on my assets, but does she deserve it? F*** f*** f*** no. In our marriage, she has made decisions not in the best interests of the marriage or family, but herself.

    For the best part of a year I have quietly sorted out my assets abroad by transferring all my property to relatives I trust. I have assets here which I have talked to a solicitor about in the event a divorce happens (which is very likely as her reply to anything she hears that she doesn’t like is “let’s separate”). I’m now way more confident about keeping hold of my assets than I was a year ago when the petition came out of the blue.

    Sounds like it’s too late for you and your assets have already been declared to the court. For what it’s worth, I do sympathise greatly. Since you’ve reached 10 years of marriage too, I think it’s likely you’ll have to pay X alimony for the rest of her life, unless she remarries. My understanding is that if it’s under 10 years alimony is only paid for half the time you’re married. Something which I am now conscious of when it comes to my marriage.

    Best of luck man. I hope everything works out and your health gets better.
    rkenia852 likes this.

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Mar 2021
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    1,627
    Quote Originally Posted by Lester08T:
    l x is from the mainland where we met. x was working in an adult sex massage shop.
    Sounds like the start of a Hallmark rom com.

    Not saying the red flags were always there, but it's possible.
    JasonStayner likes this.

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