Wedding Dowry

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  1. #1

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    Apr 2009
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    Wedding Dowry

    Hi everyone,

    My fiancee told me that it's a tradition in Hong Kong to give some kind of payment to the parents before getting married.

    Does anyone have any thoughts on an appropriate ammount?

    Thanks!


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    The amount is normally agreed on in advance when both families meet to discuss general wedding plans. Based on my friends' experiences, this can range from HKD20K to HKD100K for middle class local families.

    Suggest you come up with an amount you are comfortable with and then ask your gf to candidily mention this to her parents, before the official 'negotiations'. This will prevent any major arguments blowing up.

    Another thing to note, besides the cash 'dower', the future in-laws may expect x number tables to invite their own guests, hundreds of cake coupons (to give to bride's families and friends) and some other traditional good luck items such as a couple of hens, a pair of coconuts, etc....

    Good luck!


  3. #3

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Hong Kong parents usually don't hesitate to request a concrete number from the future son in law. It really depends how "traditional" they are, your own financial situation, and whether the girl is an only child or not. Have seen everything from nothing to several hundred thousand Hong Kong dollars.

    I gave my parents in law 38888 HK$ (the 8s are lucky numbers). Most of our friends thought that this was a rather low amount, but I did not have a lot of income at that time. In fact after the wedding, my parents in law gave most of the money back to my wife. So in my case it was not really about money, but more about "face".

    The best way is to ask your girlfriend to find out more about her parents expectations before starting any negotiations.

    Last edited by geo-seb; 14-04-2009 at 06:10 PM.

  4. #4

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    One Caucasian friend went thru some of that - when he and his local HK g/friend wanted to tie the knot, and set about planning...

    Ah, the hoops he had to jump to keep on the right side of the in-laws-to-be... Kinda weird wonderful.

    BUT he apparently (eventually) "passed", and gets on with them in VERY "small doses" Yeah, best o' luck.

    Last edited by emmie; 14-04-2009 at 06:19 PM.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by emmie
    One Caucasian friend went thru some of that - when he and his local HK g/friend wanted to tie the knot, and set about planning...

    Ah, the hoops he had to jump to keep on the right side of the in-laws-to-be... Kinda weird wonderful.
    Yes, the whole getting married to a local girl process can get pretty weird. But I know several caucasians (myself included) who got through it without any big problems.

  6. #6
    Mat
    Mat is offline

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    confirm anywhere between 10K and 100K
    Depends also on you arrangement: will you keep the lai see from the wedding or will you give them to the parents....


  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by morpheusX
    Hi everyone,

    My fiancee told me that it's a tradition in Hong Kong to give some kind of payment to the parents before getting married.

    Does anyone have any thoughts on an appropriate ammount?

    Thanks!
    Don't get bullied into paying ridiculous amount, find out how much u really can pay, don't forget you still have to pay for the whole wedding as well.

    I was lucky with my mother in law, she just wanted her daughter to be happy and didn't mind how much i gave, after i gave her the money, she gave most of it back anyways in lai see and told me how many tables she wanted for the relatives to come to the wedding so that she can have face. She was even willing to contribute money for the wedding so that it would get her more face in front of relatives and friends.

    The actual wedding date is very exhaustive so get loads of red bull ready if your planning to do the registry in the morning and the Chinese banquet at night.

    Have fun and get ready for the ball and chain after you pay the dowry and sign your life away. Haahaaahaaaa just kidding.

  8. #8

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    depends on the how much you can afford, average among the middle class is HK$50k to HK$100k ( i wonder how much does the brides family have to pay to grooms in a INDIAN wedding as it's the other way round, just curious)

    pls note that the dowry is not as common in uk chinese community, but it's very common in hk, china and asia,


  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by imparanoic
    i wonder how much does the brides family have to pay to grooms in a INDIAN wedding as it's the other way round, just curious)
    When i told my misses that where i come from your family has to pay me, the reply came back with a very serious face "YOU ARE IN HONG KONG NOW AND MARRYING A CHINESE PERSON, YOU HAVE TO PAY MY MOTHER".

  10. #10

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    It's threads like this that really make you realise you are living in a foreign country ...! Still good to find out the strange stuff BEFORE the wedding rather than after it....


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