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how do you get over?

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  1. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadnought:
    I respectfully disagree with pretty much everyone who has come on here with their suggestions. In my opinion, communication, and not time, is a healer.

    Consider that you could complete your relationship with your ex-boyfriend by clearing up stuff that has remained un-said between the two of you, thus eliminating any bad-blood. This is not to say that you should engage in a mud-slinging fest or childish blame game. You are obviously mature enough to figure this out on your own.

    You could make a really good friend that way and help each other through the break-up by replacing your relationship with a solid, lasting friendship. Beats having to duck into a store each time you see one another approaching from the opposite direction.
    Yes, my wife really liked to hear all about how great my ex -gf was. How pretty, beautiful, intelligent, etc. Actually I had to tell my mother to shut up and never mention the old one ever again! My wife is a super person but it would never extend to me being friends with my former gf! That might work for you but 99.99999999% of the rest that is a disaster.

    One piece of advice is to think of the ex as riding a bike for the first times and you fell and got a bit battered and bruised but you got right back on as it was exhilarating to ride! Same with the old bf. Get a new ride!

    Or to paraphrase Tennyson -
    It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.


    From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

    I hold it true, whate'er befall;
    I feel it, when I sorrow most;
    'Tis better to have loved and lost
    Than never to have loved at all.

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Football16:
    My wife is a super person but it would never extend to me being friends with my former gf!
    Friendship is an option, not a requirement. The important thing is to leave a relationship behind as cleanly as possible, without leaving a mess. That (the mess), is what I think makes getting over the ex- that much more difficult.
    Last edited by Dreadnought; 15-03-2010 at 02:40 PM.
    Football16 and jayinhongkong like this.

  3. #13

    Suffice to say each relationship or marriage works differently. Some people ex-communicate their exes, some don't.

    Skyhook likes this.

  4. #14

    Join Date
    May 2006
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    340

    Time sometimes heals the wound, but sometimes makes it deeper. It really depends what you do in that time. Moving on with other people, activities, change of environment if necessary is the way to go in my view.

    When someone is lost, they leave a gap. You have to find something/someone to fill that gap.

    The only way is forward.

    joljon likes this.

  5. #15

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    Sep 2008
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    ...move on in your own way...whilst remembering the good times...break-up's with loved one's are always so difficult, but remembering the positive aspects can help...


  6. #16

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    Oct 2008
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    This reminds me of the last break up. We met only 3 days in an event. She was prefect and hard to get type. We sat at starbucks... got drinks, most of the time I was dead silence and she want me to keep asking questions.

    Every time on the pc (msn) is not a good way to communicate. I Always want to talk to her but its screw things up.

    I admit I rush which is not a good thing. I went too far. dam.... Respect is important. Now, time past, I don't care about the old one. I just want to let it come to me.

    Time is the only thing that can let you forget the previous experience. Well, at least you need some friends or buddy to talk and share about your other half.

    By apple&dog


  7. #17

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    well i do agree in some way of what you said, if the breakup was mutual that is... theres really nothing to clear up with heartbreakers, cheaters or beaters..


    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadnought:
    I respectfully disagree with pretty much everyone who has come on here with their suggestions. In my opinion, communication, and not time, is a healer.

    Consider that you could complete your relationship with your ex-boyfriend by clearing up stuff that has remained un-said between the two of you, thus eliminating any bad-blood. This is not to say that you should engage in a mud-slinging fest or childish blame game. You are obviously mature enough to figure this out on your own.

    You could make a really good friend that way and help each other through the break-up by replacing your relationship with a solid, lasting friendship. Beats having to duck into a store each time you see one another approaching from the opposite direction.

  8. #18

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    833
    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadnought:
    I respectfully disagree with pretty much everyone who has come on here with their suggestions. In my opinion, communication, and not time, is a healer.

    Consider that you could complete your relationship with your ex-boyfriend by clearing up stuff that has remained un-said between the two of you, thus eliminating any bad-blood. This is not to say that you should engage in a mud-slinging fest or childish blame game. You are obviously mature enough to figure this out on your own.
    Yes - I tried that. Had to stop once I was served with an injunction by the ex's lawyer though...
    TomUKTeacher likes this.

  9. #19

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    Jan 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by shilo507:
    Yes - I tried that. Had to stop once I was served with an injunction by the ex's lawyer though...
    I am sorry it didn't work out for you.
    Posted via Mobile Device

  10. #20

    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    1,165

    shall we host a party for the people who break up and start something new, I can hoist a wine dinner for you guys. The price will be confirm so i get how many people I have onboard with me.