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Newly separated - anyone else in same position

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  1. #171

    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Quote Originally Posted by Football16:
    I am not sure what he means by comprimise (sic).

    No doubt campas has lots of experience with break ups.

    Despite his expertise I'd not take the advice that says deal with the husband via a third party. You seem like a very nice person and caring wife and mother so don't change now.

    My brother-in-law was subjected to that crap and was not allowed to know where he his ex-wife lived - her rule. He was only allowed to have the son 2 nights/days regardless of common sense. I drove the son to the ex-husband's mom's house in a snow storm one night after a dinner there as the ex-wife had gone skiing and would not let the dad keep the boy another night - but the grandma was fine. Despite my appeal to my wife that it was getting unsafe and I might not make it up our mountain roads home I did it to "keep the peace" for her brother as my wife put it. Today at 20 the kid has more to do with the dad and step mom and less and less to do with the real mom as she deprived him of a lot of contact time where both parents should been supporting the kid. The irony was that this all ended when she found herself a new rich boyfriend and wanted then to roll up to the ex's house in the guy's new Jaguar. What a sad joke that is haunting her now.
    LOL. <sarcasm>once again fagballer, great post. i'm thanking you again since you're input is so good!</sarcasm>
    you really have a hard on for me don't you. unfortunately i'm not gay and i don't catch nor pitch for your side, so get off my dick. thanks.

    as far as my advice- did i say it was ongoing? no. did i say to deprive the kids? no. all i said is for her to get over her husband is to have a period of little to no contact- since no contact isn't a choice- then use a third party to assist. will the time the kids have wtih the mother be any less? no. after she is over him, then she can re-build a friendship. what happened to your brother in law is a long term and fundamental flaw in the parenting skills of the mother by abandoning her kids, or at the very least neglecting...i don't believe for a minute that the OP would do that.
    Last edited by campas12; 24-05-2010 at 10:48 AM.