OP - my advice:
- Before moving (even your husband) - ask for his company to secure a service apartment for a month, which would give him the time to look for places
- Work out where he will work exactly. The New Territories are "vast" and HK is easy to travel North to South (and reverse) but less so East to West (and reverse).
- Based on which location he will be working, you can start looking for properties
- Where will you send your kids to school? Please take that into consideration too. Options are many but just narrow down locations and all
- If you never lived in HK (asia) before, please do not dismiss building. It's nothing like in the West. We have a 3 y old and we love in a "small" condo (only 3 towers and sthg like 20 floors only). It's got a great clubhouse, a pool, some kids playground, a BBQ area etc etc...so yes it is shared but it has got a good community feel and the kids play everyday after school on the podium etc etc....and you are not bothered by any house maintenance (the issue w village house) - so do not discount that.
- transport. MTR is good but buses in HK (I know not in the UK) work just as well...and even taxi (depending on how far you have to travel) can be used daily (since cheap).
- your housing allowance. Go as High as you can so don't agree on 30 if you can get 35.