Shatin, Tai po, Mah on shan, or others?

[timklip]

I don't disagree with your assessment although I do think it's unfortunate - at minimum for the poor children involved! We don't have children - mainly because having thought hard about it, we decided we don't want to and are not prepared to give it the 110% the children would deserve. We are certainly well off enough to have them and then farm out the raising but I just don't see that as an option - at minimum I think you should want your children and be prepared to give it your all! The worst, IMHO, are the celebrities who seem to see their children as the latest fashion accessory - but that particular beef is something of a diversion from this thread!

this thread was diverted long ago lol...round about post 22....

[kryzlowski]

it is possible to enjoy raising your own children with the HELP of a DH (hence the name)...let's not paint it so black and white...

My particular 'beef' was more to do with the 'a driver is essential' subject than with DHs.

Although I would not have a DH, it is fair enough if other's want one. Driver's on the other hand I just think are excessive. To hear someone call them a necessity is just bonkers. How, oh how do the rest of us get by without them

[kryzlowski]

The last thing I will say on this, is please do not misquote me.

Oooopps! That's the second time I've said I won't post again and then done so. D'oh

[Raccon]

My particular 'beef' was more to do with the 'a driver is essential' subject than with DHs.

Although I would not have a DH, it is fair enough if other's want one. Driver's on the other hand I just think are excessive.

Your opinion, based on your personal needs or rather lack thereof, but fair enough.

To hear someone call them a necessity is just bonkers.

Then so is having a DH.

How, oh how do the rest of us get by without them

I wonder how some people get by without air-condition, for me it is a necessity.

[Sleuth]

seems the anti-DH crowd here thinks that having one means completely ignoring your kids until the helper's day off, when you are then (horrors) forced to interact with your spawn...it is possible to enjoy raising your own children with the HELP of a DH (hence the name)...let's not paint it so black and white...

I bet more people are in the black and white than that gray area you sketch out.
How often do you see parents with kids?
Or there are a lot more working moms out there than I assume there to be. In which case we go back to the working mom diversion.

[timklip]

I bet more people are in the black and white than that gray area you sketch out.

As has become the normal response in this forum, please quote sources and provide any peer reviewed and published studies to support your position

How often do you see parents with kids?

Outside of working hours, when one or both parents are available, constantly. On trains, buses, in parks, museums, movies, restaurants, shopping, Disney/Ocean Park, the list goes on. Open your eyes

Or there are a lot more working moms out there than I assume there to be.

We agree on one point I guess

[shenwen]

[QUOTE=MovingIn07;471443]Nice response. Although I can hardly take seriously anyone who calls into question a desire to raise one's own children in the first place! I guess that must be what separates you and him - you actually appear to have wanted your children and have a desire to spend time with them yourself![/QUOTE]

get bent. that attitude is ridiculous. are you seriously equating having a DH with not wanting to spend time with one's children?

My wife quite rightly wanted a career and a child (as did I). The child comes first, without question and we spend as much time with ours as is humanly possible outside of the 9 to 6. I can only guess that you also do not have kids because it all seems so easy from the outside. By hiring a DH, we chose a compromise that suited mother and father and son. and very happy we (all four of us) are.

and all the axe wielding maniac stuff - pure middle class guilt-induced nonsense.

[Sleuth]

get bent. that attitude is ridiculous. are you seriously equating having a DH with not wanting to spend time with one's children?

My wife quite rightly wanted a career and a child (as did I). The child comes first, without question and we spend as much time with ours as is humanly possible outside of the 9 to 6. I can only guess that you also do not have kids because it all seems so easy from the outside. By hiring a DH, we chose a compromise that suited mother and father and son. and very happy we (all four of us) are.

and all the axe wielding maniac stuff - pure middle class guilt-induced nonsense.

In some cases, having a DH does mean not wanting to spend time with your children. Not in every case.

But two questions--you both seriously leave your house at 9 AM and return by 6 PM?
and
How old is your son?

The axe wielding maniac stuff is not pure middle class guilt-induced nonsense; it was meant to be humorous. Perhaps I should have said "if the kids end up running drugs across the PRC border" or something. My point was that it will be our fault which, to me, seems better than having something go wrong knowing you had your kid(s) raised by a DH. To me, the guilt would come from having been able to raise the kids without a DH but not doing so.

[shenwen]

In some cases, having a DH does mean not wanting to spend time with your children. Not in every case.

But two questions--you both seriously leave your house at 9 AM and return by 6 PM?
and
How old is your son?

The axe wielding maniac stuff is not pure middle class guilt-induced nonsense; it was meant to be humorous. Perhaps I should have said "if the kids end up running drugs across the PRC border" or something. My point was that it will be our fault which, to me, seems better than having something go wrong knowing you had your kid(s) raised by a DH. To me, the guilt would come from having been able to raise the kids without a DH but not doing so.

two answers.
leave at 8.40, return at 6.30. every day
18 months

if my kid ends up running drugs then a. he better get some for me (joke) and b. it will be all my fault regardless of DH or not as I (and my wife) are the ones responsible for raising him, setting him examples and teaching him right and wrong. the helper is just that: help. she is not a replacement parent.

do you really think people with a DH just switch off from raising the child? if so, you are being so naive. how about working parents in the UK, where the grandparents help out? are they also wrong, or is it just because the DH is not a family member.

[Casa24]

This post is fab - went in at page 6 or so and have absoutely no idea what it has to do with Shatin, Tai Po, Ma On Shan etc but thoroughly entertaining anyway!!!
Keep it up!!!!