Moving to HKG any regrets

[PC_Man]

Assume he ran out of work - that's what happened to a few of the guys I know.

If haven't secured PR when job finishes then can be diffcult to find more work especially those involved in the airport construction etc.

[tony001]

Hi guys, I had the same impression as yourselves about HKG.I visited the place and was hoping that one day I could get a job and relocate.All along she was all for it,maybe thinking that this would not eventuate so why not just agree for the moment and see what happens latter. So when I was offered the job one can only imagine how I happy and proud I was.Then came the response''I don't want to go"bla bla bla.I have been married 7 years and to give it all away would be a shame but by the same token I am the bread winner in the house,the company offer housing,education assistance for my boy who is 4, travel fund and discounted airline tickets etc etc so am I only right in thinking that she should support and follow me,or that was the case years ago when women prehaps were women and let men be men?I don't know.The most difficult part would be to leaving my boy behind.

[Allicat]

Well, this makes me feel so much better - lol! Should I be buying my ticket home now?

[coolgirl]

No regrets at all. Loved it so much that I bought a place after a year here. Then again, Im an Asian girl so it's easy to adjust.

[Allicat]

I feel for you both. It's a hard decision. However it's one that I made willingly. I gave up all sorts of things to come here (to watch him work) but made the decision it's only a couple of years and I need a break. It would be heartbreaking that your son won't be coming with you. I love this city, and it will be hard but I'd much rather be having this great experience than not.

[PC_Man]

Don't know your relationship obv but there only really a few basic options...

1. Try to force into it - fraught with danger and could be divorce before you leave.

2. Coax her into it - she interested in travel? Promise trips around region or to Oz, NZ.
Pique her interest with whatever you know will work and promise to go back if it's not working out.

3. Go on your own.
Can get boy over for holidays or go back to see him depending on how job works.
Downside from family point of view is you'll be living alone and likely develop the lifestyle of a man living alone...

4. Cancel and not go.
But deal sounds good.

I've seen all 4 options work and all 4 fail so only you cn decide.

Probably bugger all use that...

[PDLM]

Why do you assume that your son stays with your (soon to be ex-)wife? You could bring him here - everyone here has a domestic helper who takes care of the kids. He'll be trilingual in English Tagalog & Cantonese in no time, which must be a good thing. And when he's being a pain that's what the DH is for.

[looking@HK]

Show her some dreams. Women love dreams. That's how we get married in the first place. I know it's easier said than done ... but it's true. You are mad at her for not supporting you. She is probably thinking you're too selfish and want her to give up her whole life. You can find some middle ground. If your salary is good, promise her 3 trips back home every year

If your marriage is good except for this moving disagreement, no job is worth sacrificing that relationship - this is my personal humble opinion.

[hello_there]

I would like to hear from those who have moved to HKG and their afterthought was it a good decision?How do you find it?I will be moving soon,but the wife has decided not to go(another story).
I have been offered a good package and a great job,what does one do?

You should really consider whether the company packages is worth breaking up your family. If you can handle losing a wife and being away from your son then HK might be the place for you. But, I think that most of the people on this forum love Hong Kong and there are an equal number of expats who come to Hong Kong for a couple years that can't wait to get out and go home. It can be a good and rewarding place to live, but ultimately "home" is with the people you love.

From a wife's perspective, it can be very hard moving here, especially if you don't work. You lose your entire social support network, friends and family. Everything is unfamiliar and it is initially quite uncomfortable. Before you judge your wife too harshly for not wanting to uproot her entire life by moving to Hong Kong, not to mention your son's life, you should seriously consider her objections and try to work through them. Also, offering her trips home yearly, etc. seems like it might be a reasonable compromise.

Also, while I find Hong Kong to be okay now, it is definitely more difficult for me than it is for my husband. He works and just has to deal with his job. I work, take care of pets, make sure the DH is doing her job, deal with problems with the apartment, etc. While I do like it here, you should recognize that your experience here would probably be different than your wife's.
Good luck with your decision.

[KnowItAll]

>> her trips home yearly

Or more often...