You asked why HK can be such a problem for married couples. You might be interested in something I was told which is the marriages that struggle here usually involve a husband who - back home in the Western world, was a bit geeky, quite awkward and shy around women, and who - work wise - was very much a very small fish in a very large pond.
They then come to HK, where because they're English speaking expats, at work they suddenly become huge fish in tiny ponds, and socially, the kind of women who wouldn't look twice at them 'back home', are suddenly throwing themselves at them. They've gone from being average drones to super desirable executives, it all goes to their heads and they start behaving in ways they would never have dreamed of had they stayed back home.
Then you have the wives who, if they are not working, and aren't able to build up a suffcient network of friends, don't really have a life of their own. As a result they become overly dependant on their husbands and in the words of my father "are very boring to talk to".
So it *can* be a complete recipe for disaster. And if there were problems in the marriage before the move it is all the more problematic.
However it very much depends on the nature of the people involved in the marriage and how they cope with their changing status.
I know lots of couples, including my parents, who survived their time in Hong Kong and enjoyed it, and I know others who came out quite happy but split up within a couple of years.
My main piece of advice is, as 'the wife' get a job; and if you're not working, get out and get busy as much as possible and as soon as possible.
Originally Posted by rebekah: