Moving to HKG any regrets

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  1. #41

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    Quote Originally Posted by hullexile:
    That's a few green squares off your rating PDLM. You have obviously never been to Hull - makes Scotland seem babe heaven I can tell you
    True fact - In 1976 a survey of the Royal Navy for the one place in the world you would choose to visit , was not HK or S'pore or Bali or San Fran' BUT Hull.
    The reason ? Woman outnumbered men 4 to 1 and a load of clubs and pubs. PLUS the largest housing estate in Europe.

    When I first visited in 1975. the ship ( 500 persons ) had 32 divorces related to the visit within 1 yr !!

    Yes it was all so long ago and I remember I got off with some girl at a club where Munjo Jerry had a gig.

    Thats why I love HK now. Makes me feel young again and this town is great for those who are or feel young. A young couple coming here will and do love it.
    Last edited by Boris; 20-07-2007 at 01:21 PM. Reason: spelling

  2. #42

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boris:
    True fact - In 1976 a survey of the Royal Navy for the one place in the world you would choose to visit , was not HK or S'pore or Bali or San Fran' BUT Hull.
    The reason ? Woman outnumbered men 4 to 1 and a load of clubs and pubs. PLUS the largest housing estate in Europe.

    When I first visited in 1975. the ship ( 500 persons ) had 32 divorces related to the visit within 1 yr !!
    Well it still has the largest housing estate in Europe anyway

  3. #43

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    family or career?

    Quote Originally Posted by [email protected]:
    If your marriage is good except for this moving disagreement, no job is worth sacrificing that relationship - this is my personal humble opinion.
    I would tend to agree with looking's humble opinion. Spoke to a few friends about your post and I think it all depends on how your relationship is with your wife, whether to choose your family or your career.

    You mentioned that you are married 7 years already, how was those 7 years? Guess that would play a big part in your decision. Good luck!

  4. #44

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    Thank you all for your replies. I suppose I need to elaborate a bit more here.

    Our marriage has been at breaking point for about the last 4 years.So no danger of wrecking something that hasn't worked for ages.
    I tried and tried to stick it out and make it work. The reason it is at breaking point is that soon after she gave birth she returned to work.She works as a stewardess,away from home 4-6 days at time. She made no effort to change her working hours either during this time.Now can you imagine what our marriage was like, if you want to call it that?

    Now I am in a position to further my career, and
    I felt that by relocating the family to HKG, it would have brought us back together and also give us a better future.So my guilt lies not with not trying harder to save my marriage but not being there for my boy and watch him grow up.

    I have made my decision,I will be coming to Hong Kong regardless.


  5. #45

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    Quote Originally Posted by hullexile:
    That's a few green squares off your rating PDLM. You have obviously never been to Hull - makes Scotland seem babe heaven I can tell you
    Believe you me, Grimsby is even worse than Hull!

  6. #46

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    Quote Originally Posted by tony001:
    Thank you all for your replies. I suppose I need to elaborate a bit more here.

    Our marriage has been at breaking point for about the last 4 years.So no danger of wrecking something that hasn't worked for ages.
    I tried and tried to stick it out and make it work. The reason it is at breaking point is that soon after she gave birth she returned to work.She works as a stewardess,away from home 4-6 days at time. She made no effort to change her working hours either during this time.Now can you imagine what our marriage was like, if you want to call it that?

    Now I am in a position to further my career, and
    I felt that by relocating the family to HKG, it would have brought us back together and also give us a better future.So my guilt lies not with not trying harder to save my marriage but not being there for my boy and watch him grow up.

    I have made my decision,I will be coming to Hong Kong regardless.
    Let us know how it goes.

  7. #47
    Quote Originally Posted by tony001:
    Thank you all for your replies. I suppose I need to elaborate a bit more here.

    Our marriage has been at breaking point for about the last 4 years.So no danger of wrecking something that hasn't worked for ages.
    I tried and tried to stick it out and make it work. The reason it is at breaking point is that soon after she gave birth she returned to work.She works as a stewardess,away from home 4-6 days at time. She made no effort to change her working hours either during this time.Now can you imagine what our marriage was like, if you want to call it that?

    Now I am in a position to further my career, and
    I felt that by relocating the family to HKG, it would have brought us back together and also give us a better future.So my guilt lies not with not trying harder to save my marriage but not being there for my boy and watch him grow up.

    I have made my decision,I will be coming to Hong Kong regardless.
    Thanks for sharing. This changes my opinion. If this is ur situation, it does seem like moving away would have been the best thing for your marriage had she agreed to it. Frankly, it also diminishes my hopes that she would have followed you eventually. You never know, that may still happen.

    I wish you all the best.

  8. #48

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    Is bringing the boy over here and leaving mum behind workable?

    As someone else mentioned, it is considered fairly normal here for parents to work and employ a full-time maid to look after the home and children during the day.

    Schooling is generally quite good although costly compared to UK.

    Know at least 1 guy off the top of my head who did this but only brought kid over after he was fully settled here (few years after arrived).


  9. #49

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    Jun 2006
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    Hi Rebekah,

    You asked why HK can be such a problem for married couples. You might be interested in something I was told which is the marriages that struggle here usually involve a husband who - back home in the Western world, was a bit geeky, quite awkward and shy around women, and who - work wise - was very much a very small fish in a very large pond.

    They then come to HK, where because they're English speaking expats, at work they suddenly become huge fish in tiny ponds, and socially, the kind of women who wouldn't look twice at them 'back home', are suddenly throwing themselves at them. They've gone from being average drones to super desirable executives, it all goes to their heads and they start behaving in ways they would never have dreamed of had they stayed back home.

    Then you have the wives who, if they are not working, and aren't able to build up a suffcient network of friends, don't really have a life of their own. As a result they become overly dependant on their husbands and in the words of my father "are very boring to talk to".

    So it *can* be a complete recipe for disaster. And if there were problems in the marriage before the move it is all the more problematic.

    However it very much depends on the nature of the people involved in the marriage and how they cope with their changing status.

    I know lots of couples, including my parents, who survived their time in Hong Kong and enjoyed it, and I know others who came out quite happy but split up within a couple of years.

    My main piece of advice is, as 'the wife' get a job; and if you're not working, get out and get busy as much as possible and as soon as possible.

    Jen

    Quote Originally Posted by rebekah:
    Thanks for the replies. keep them coming, im interested to know what everyone thinks. I suppose that we had planned this move long before we were ever married, but the one thing i am concerned about is not having a job/meeting people, which is why i have been somewhat active on this board and plan on becoming more active after the move.

    Also, not one to believe in statistics, and obviously think i have a strong marriage, but don't we all? don't plan on taking long trips home without hubby, just once a year together, at least that is the plan. thanks for pointing that idea out!
    Rebekah

  10. #50
    ^ great advice and analysis

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