Would you let your husband move 2 months ahead of family?

[Mat]

I am utterly baffled when some long term expats claim they have never seen a expat couple divorce

Just to comment on this since it seems you make reference to a former thread on here.

It's not like "we" have never seen a expat couple divorce, the subject of that thread was about close (friends/family/direct co workers) people and divorce as I recall and yes amongst this circle, in my case no divorce.

And frankly speaking even when looking outside that circle I am not sure I can come up with more than 1 (and they were a Korean couple).

Other than this, agree with the rest of your post, it's a combination of many things....not sex straved expat and goldigging bitches....

[Satay Sue]

I was about to post a similar response as I also recall that thread.

[TheBrit]

As I say, it is baffling to me how you can spend a decade in any place without seeing divorces, yet alone when considering expats in Asia. As Fiona in HKG mentioned, some families don't even survive the transition - yet alone the stay.

[SiuMaiTaiTai]

I only know of 2 divorces in my lifetime and both were in the UK, so you could lump me into the lot of 0 expat divorces! but I don't see why the OP is seen as a troll by some people here. It is comments like that, that put posters from ever returning to their original thread.

[HowardCoombs]

As I say, it is baffling to me how you can spend a decade in any place without seeing divorces, yet alone when considering expats in Asia. As Fiona in HKG mentioned, some families don't even survive the transition - yet alone the stay.

Different ppl run in different circles with different type of friends. I've been here 18 years. Seen plenty of deaths, births, accidents, marriages but no divorces. Plenty of my friends back home have gotten divorced, but not here.

Refering to earlier part of the thread : You're going to get different statistics when sampling the population in LKF vs the population of a DB ferry.

[Dankleness]

Maybe the OP has already decided she is not going to come to HK with her hubby and has thrown out the ultimatum - either you stay here or I am going to divorce you!

As with most things, "yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run..." I could see that a move to HK (or anywhere for that matter away from a home base) could strengthen an already well grounded, stable relationship. However, on the flip side, if the boats a rockin' before they get here the chances of capsizing surely increase! I myself am here (on this forum I mean) because I am now with an HK local who is looking to get back to her family for a while as shes been abroad for quite some time (down in Sydney and now up here in NE China). I know its going to be tough for me, but not for reasons aforementioned in this thread.

[TheBrit]

Different ppl run in different circles with different type of friends. I've been here 18 years. Seen plenty of deaths, births, accidents, marriages but no divorces. Plenty of my friends back home have gotten divorced, but not here.

Refering to earlier part of the thread : You're going to get different statistics when sampling the population in LKF vs the population of a DB ferry.

Well, I doubt I move in significantly different social circles than other professional expats on here, especially given than both Mat and Mr SS work in the same industry as me.

The odds of what you are claiming are - statistically speaking - very small. Unless you have a small, relatively non diverse and fixed social circle - a dozen families or something. We know that around 30-40% of recent marriages end in divorce - if you adjust this downwards (the trend has been for rising divorce) to compensate for the older people here and assume 20% of their generations marriages end in failure you're probably not far off the mark.

If you want to further bias this down and assume successful professional expats are twice as successful at marriage than average (highly doubt this is actually true...) then it might come down to 1 in 10 expat marriages of their generation end in divorce... you need a very small or lucky group of acquaintances not to have any of them with marriage failures.

[jimbo]

On the flip side some ex pat wives would put up with a lot of their husbands shit so they can maintain the tai tai lifestyle they've accustomed to.

Happy and broke or rich and miserable, a lot would choose the latter.

And there's the stigma amongst locals that you should never divorce as you lose face. So they end up putting up with there husbands shit.

[SiuMaiTaiTai]

What are you saying then TB? Do you think Howardcoombs, Mat and SS are lying?
Jimbo - that reminds me, correction I only know of 1 divorcee in HK but she is a local lass, divorced from a local lad...screw that, stereotype!
Although it did involve cheating with a mainlander...yes a mainlander I said it!

[Satay Sue]

I racked my brains after that other thread. There was actually another Brit couple that I did know in Tokyo who divorced (so that makes 2) but they were on rocky ground and fighting regularly before they arrived. Since that other thread I now know a Kiwi couple but they separated 3 years back in NZ, in Tokyo they were the closest couple that knew and it was a total shock. Amicable though and they are still good friends. So a grand total of 3 out of a LOT of people!