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Like what I do in Australia, but may need to move to HK.

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  1. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gruntfuttock:
    Much years of experience on these and other forums tells me that when someone asks for "constructive" advice it will all be much easier if you tell us the answer you want to hear. There will then undoubtedly be someone who will give you that answer and we can all happily move on to the next thread.
    I ask for constructive advice because more often than not forum threads get hijacked by retarded comments like this. Just an observation.
    elle likes this.

  2. #12

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    Carang any man will want to feel like a protector, provider and so on of the family. Call me old fashioned, but these are my values. Now you will see, many other men understand this. And even you what would you really prefer? A man who is helpless while you are a modern working women working so hard? Most women dream of a pampered life, and most of these business women exectuives are not truely happy.

    Why try to make a positive thing sound like a negative or out dated? Since thousands of years men have protected the family they love, provided for the women (or groups of his women), caught wild animals to feed. The women, until very recently stayed at home, in the cave or rent, and protected children, prepared meals, gathered fruit and berried. MUch of this is deeply breed instinct into a man.Times are more modern but values for most men remain the same and I can tell you the true desires for women also (although some are truely confused now, and extremely unhappy and neutotic as a result, probably American women in New York worst of all).


  3. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by carang:
    i can understand your hesitation, OP, and that tells me that you really don't want to do this. that is a warning light flashing loud and clear. if you give up your job, you will be resentful. if your wife doesn't do this, she will be resentful.

    the only way out that i can see is a leave of absence, so you don't have to give up your job and you can try it out.

    or do you want me to say, 'don't worry... whatever decision you make will work'?
    You're right carang, I don't want to end up resenting my wife and I don't want her resenting me either.

    I have no intention of resigning. Taking a year off won't be a problem at all for either of us, so we do have a safety net if it doesn't work out.
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  4. #14

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    chateau:i think you woke up this morning and thought you lived in 1950....

    my husband was a house husband for 3 years and i loved it. he worked, but not for money. he was also studying.

    i also think that many women are happiest when working outside the home and that it is very important for a woman to be able to earn a living to support herself, so she doesn't have to rely on any man for the necessities of life.

    Last edited by carang; 04-07-2012 at 09:53 PM.

  5. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by mik.wat:
    You're right carang, I don't want to end up resenting my wife and I don't want her resenting me either.

    I have no intention of resigning. Taking a year off won't be a problem at all for either of us, so we do have a safety net if it doesn't work out.
    good, i'm very glad that is an option for you. if that is the case, forget playing it safe. you already have a back up. jump in with both feet, if taking a year or two isn't a problem. what have you got to lose?

  6. #16

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    Cara, I am happy that you did this, but can we agree that female tutors are in better demand than male tutors?

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using GeoClicks Mobile


  7. #17

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    possibly... although my uncle has been making a living at it for 13 years...


  8. #18

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    Obvious to see who wears the trousers in this relationship.

    Taking off my call it as I see it hat and putting the nice hat on.

    Get your cv up to date and network your butt off, Speak to headhunters out here and see just how marketable you are right now and what you need to do to get more marketable apart from being more more proficient in Cantonese and or Mandarin.

    Chateau

    You're a prize plonker from the Edwardian era that's for sure.

    carang and elle like this.

  9. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by booth:
    I think it depends on your wifes family. HK people and their families can be a drain on a relationship financially for the most part. It seems as though you two do not have a plan, just act in the moment, and that isn't the best.
    If anything, at least intially, I'll be a drain on the in-laws.

    Quote Originally Posted by booth:
    You are coming from Aussie, probably with a bigger home to a small home in HK and with her family. I do not think I could handle sharing a small flat with in-laws. Not sure about you.
    Taking the land out of it, the apartment we'll be living in is bigger than our house, and it's not a small house.

    Quote Originally Posted by booth:
    If you can take an unpaid leave then fine, but if you lose a government job to go to HK, I think that could be the worst decision of your life, unless your wife pulls in the bread and butter.
    My point exactly. I don't want to lose the security of a government job and then not have things work out.

    Quote Originally Posted by booth:
    To talk about tutoring kids, you said you have a 2.5 year old. It is difficult to raise a family on a tutoring salary too. And if living with in-laws, they might want a share of your income too.
    My in-laws are likely to pay my wife a generous salary, and they spoil our children.

    Quote Originally Posted by booth:
    Owning a business is great but you have to deal with greedy landlords constantly raising rental prices. A family business can really be destroyed by such. I know people whose rent was 15k and now after 2 increases and 10 years in business, are paying in the 30s. The profits have hence tanked and they could make more money working at McDonalds full-time.
    The net monthly profit for the business is more than I would earn in a year, and I'm a middle management government employee. So for the immediate future I don't think this will be a problem.

  10. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by mik.wat:
    I ask for constructive advice because more often than not forum threads get hijacked by retarded comments like this. Just an observation.
    OK, so my constructive advice would be that if you sacrifice your career for the sake of your wife's family then make damn sure you get recompensed for that. If you don't have a suitable pre-nup then get some sort of agreement that gives you (in a way that would survive divorce or separation) a substantial share of the family business to recognise the sacrifice that you are making. You are and always will be an outsider as far as her family are concerned, so any agreements or understandings that aren't nailed down in a legally watertight way are worthless.

    But I'm pretty sure that's not the advice you want to hear, so I guess it won't be regarded as "constructive".
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