Moving to Hong Kong for boyfriend's work

[Fiona in HKG]

Great advice Elegiaque

[Watercooler]

You know me WC, can't miss an opportunity to slap a few men round the head. No seriously, if people (male or female) choose to repeatedly stray that's up to them but I'd prefer to be kept in the dark if I also happen to have become friends with their other half and/or see them socially on a regular basis.

We had a serial panty flasher in my last firm. Local lady who did the short skirt thing to such an extent that pretty much everyone in the office saw her knickers from both front and back on multiple occasions. I can't believe her boss never told her it was unprofessional and I actually thought it was a bit sad. She was a bright girl but instead of being recognised for her potential, she was office perv material. She seemed fine with that so it's her choice. I REALLY REALLY wanted to take her to one side and say "listen love, if your skirt is so short that you bring a pashmina to meetings so you can cover up your lady garden when sitting down, that's a message that your skirt is too bloody short for the office". But I knew I'd get a bollocking from the boss so for once I actually kept my big Lancashire gob shut.

If I weren't married I would have ask you whether you could introduce that panty flasher to me , but I love my wife and I'm a faithful husband now, haha.

Speaking of which, a friend of mine knew quite of number of bankers and he claims he personally know two bankers who have had affairs with these so-called aggresssive local women. It didn't exactly improve my already low estimation of bankers, but what you just said, if it is true, corroborate what my friend said.

[Elegiaque]

Thanks Fiona... I'm just a bit older than the OP and have been there done that. Happy I eventually got legally married, heh. It was a stepping stone to stay together and see where the next stage took us.
But, hey, the OP & partner shouldn't worry, because no matter what, they have a psychological immune system and everything will be JUST FINE:
http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert..._we_happy.html

[jaykay]

As someone who moved abroad at 21 and has never looked back, I'm not against that and feel moving abroad has a lot to offer in life. However, moving to a major metropolis that is one of the world's most expensive cities requires some planning ahead and careful consideration, especially if there are issues about visas.
So one scenario is that she comes with you as a visitor and looks for employment that will sponsor her. This scenario would require a strong relationship commitment, where oneiller would have to be willing to support her financially until she can get going on her own. This could take up to a year, and oneiller would have to be willing to financially support her and agree that she sometimes spends her time doing what might seem like unproductive things (like joining social groups to network). It can also be a bit of a nightmare for Em to have to keep trying and trying to get a job that will sponsor her. Honestly, I wouldn't put a lot of faith in a UK Bachelors degree, as just about everyone gets one nowadays and I think the standards are quite low. So I do wonder if she has the level of training/professionalism that would lead to a sponsored job (like Claire ex-ax says and the training she suggests).
Another scenario would be she comes her on the WHV scheme and begins working relatively quickly. That would be great. What happens after a year though? What are some back-up plans for then? Is she likely to get a job where she could support herself on her own?
And then there are the scenarios where she comes here with a student visa and continues studying. PhD programmes are well-paid for (application period would need to be asap as the first round of results will soon be announced). If you're accepted in a department, usually your PhD is paid for and you receive a monthly stipend of $13700ish. It's not a bad option and could make her more independent.

It doesn't matter what desire one has to be (financially) independent. HK is really expensive, and it is difficult to pay for rent on one's own, unless one has a reliable (upper-end?) job. Western food in HK is also very expensive. I feel I'm doing quite well and have been happy with my job(s) in HK, but should I split with my partner, I think I would find it extremely difficult. It's been a motivation to stay together, which is good in many ways. It's important to consider that you will be bound to some degree to each other through this step that you're taking in life, especially at an age when you're probably still deciding on what you want in life (and who you want to be with). So that's all, you need a strong commitment and oneiller has to be supportive in whatever capacity to make it possible. It's not easy-peasy.
Incidentally, I do know some couples who have made it work in HK, but it took a year of planning!

If you want to live a completely a Western lifestyle then the above applies. If you are willing to broaden your horizons then it doesn't. Simple really.

Some people need to plan. Others are adaptable.

[kimwy66]

OP sounds like the sort to get down with a bit of Dai Pai Dong, rather than requiring Bio certified high welfare beans. A flat share and $150 a day on food makes cheap living.

[Watercooler]

OP sounds like the sort to get down with a bit of Dai Pai Dong, rather than requiring Bio certified high welfare beans. A flat share and $150 a day on food makes cheap living.

True, that sure sounds like it. But the question is, how long does the OP want to live like that in HK?

[kimwy66]

True, that sure sounds like it. But the question is, how long does the OP want to live like that in HK?

Does it matter to you or me? Seriously what is it with people coming here asking for job advice and ending up with a whole lifestyle and relationship grilling.

Leave them alone, they asked for job advice, people have given it and they appear intelligent enough to make their own lifestyle choices. This isn't a tabloid paper exposing some celebrity's breakfast choices.

[Elegiaque]

I dunno... I know of some people who really manage to get by in life without working, quitting education, and still get to take holidays! So yeah, for some people this seems possible -- it baffles me sometimes. In HK, though, I don't think it's so black and white as Western lifestyle vs. broadening horizons in HK. Expensive cities are tough. There is a lot of grey areas of the type of lifestyle you can have in HK. In reality, with the OP's qualifications, she might only be able to make max $30k a month, and that could be hard to live off of, should she need to be financially independent at some point. She'll also need to have some savings to set herself up on her own, too.
I don't see myself as pursuing a purely Western lifestyle, and yet I do find there is a certain reality to circumstances. Anyway, a 24 year old would be more flexible than me -- as I was at 24.

[bibbju]

....Honestly, I wouldn't put a lot of faith in a UK Bachelors degree, as just about everyone gets one nowadays and I think the standards are quite low. So I do wonder if she has the level of training/professionalism that would lead to a sponsored job....

EXCUSE ME????!!!! Wtf?!

In 2013 there was a record number of UK students entering higher education: 40% of 18 & 19 year olds. That's only being admitted to university rather than actually passing their degrees.

Source: http://www.bbc.com/news/education-25432377

The UK has relatively less young people entering/graduating from higher education than many of their "competitors" as you'll see from the data below (for 2008, closest I could get to Emily's graduation date):



So yes "about everyone" gets a degree in the UK.

Don't even get me started on "the standards are quite low". I'm already slamming the keyboard as I type and I suspect I will break my laptop if I actually type a reply to that.

[Watercooler]

Does it matter to you or me? Seriously what is it with people coming here asking for job advice and ending up with a whole lifestyle and relationship grilling.

Leave them alone, they asked for job advice, people have given it and they appear intelligent enough to make their own lifestyle choices. This isn't a tabloid paper exposing some celebrity's breakfast choices.

Whoa, a little hot under the collar today are we Kimwy66? Relax, take a deep breath.

It could be useful because we can give her estimation of moving cost and where and when to move when she decides. So she can factor that in as well.