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Should I really move back to HK? It's so lonely, no?

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  1. #91

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    Sep 2011
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    Quote Originally Posted by lighthse003:
    People don't really mingle here.

    Most local Chinese grow up with the same people or immigrants from Mainland China. There are few to no non Chinese students in most primary and secondary schools in HK. Most non Chinese parents dont send their children to normal schools teaching in Cantonese. It is only in the larger universities students have some chances of mingling with non Chinese, and communicating with other people in English. They lose the chance again when they start working. Most colleagues are Cantonese speakers.

    Not really a good place for foreigners to learn useful languages too. People goto anglophone countries to improve english, or mainland china to learn Mandarin. HK is actually mainly Cantonese speaking, and Cantonese is not useful elsewhere outside of the Pearl River Delta.

    Language is always a big barrier. But HK people are lucky. We can easily speak 3 languages.
    I saw some documentaries on RTHK and even a Pearl Report when I was in hk and some Indian girl totally fluent in Canto and Mandarin and teaching her class how to write Chinese. I guess these are the few exceptions, that's why they made a documentary about her.

    Could it be that English is so easy to learn and Chinese is one of the hardest languages to learn? I can speak Canto but Mandarin is impossible for me... It's just a noise, as Alan Partridge once said.

  2. #92
    Quote Originally Posted by NAMBLA:
    Actually it's North American Marlon Brando Lookalikes Association. Google it yourself also. Lots of ambiguity.
    There's probably a term from Classical Rhetoric which would describe neatly your sly attempt to parade yourself in public whilst maintaining a very attenuated fig leaf's worth of ambiguity/deniability. But I can't be bothered to go research it.

    Wise of you not to protest too much and hope that everybody just Moves On™.

    One can only hope that you are not employed in any educational capacity.

  3. #93

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    Quote Originally Posted by Toxoplasmosis:
    There's probably a term from Classical Rhetoric which would describe neatly your sly attempt to parade yourself in public whilst maintaining a very attenuated fig leaf's worth of ambiguity/deniability. But I can't be bothered to go research it.

    Wise of you not to protest too much and hope that everybody just Moves On™.

    One can only hope that you are not employed in any educational capacity.
    As already explained in various other threads long before you arrived to the party... The name is from South Park. Just Google it then you can get off your high horse and preach your do gooder save the planet from rude usernames somewhere else.

    Go Welcome and buy a pack of sense of humor.

  4. #94

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    NAMBLA's first post on here was how to lie and cheat the system. Incredibly, it has been all downhill from there!

    DirtyHairy, kimwy66 and Elegiaque like this.

  5. #95

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheBrit:
    NAMBLA's first post on here was how to lie and cheat the system. Incredibly, it has been all downhill from there!
    Yep. If you anyone needs our service in opening corporate bank accounts just pm me :-)

    All rules are there to be broken.

  6. #96

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    May 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by 7jai:
    My point is that HKG is one of the easiest places to meet people: Heavily diverse
    "Heavily diverse"? 97% of the population is ethnically Chinese.

  7. #97
    Quote Originally Posted by alexdown:
    "Heavily diverse"? 97% of the population is ethnically Chinese.
    And thank your lucky stars for it.

    Diversity + Proximity = War.

  8. #98

    @Tamsin89 Cities can be so isolating and lonely, I get you. I think particularly as a westerner passing through, it can be hard to form close and meaningful relationships. In my experience, how someone interacts and connects with you--as well as the company they keep--depends heavily on what their purpose and priorities are. People who are hyper-focused on their careers, for whatever reason, will make most of their decisions and connections with that in mind, for example. Probably obvious, but recognising that has been helpful for me personally when making friends.

    It really is hard to find people who are willing and able to be real with you, be vulnerable, establish a tangible connection--wherever you are. I've found that when you know what kinds of people you want around you, when you stop wasting what time and energy you have left after work, perfunctory networking, time for yourself, etc., it naturally becomes easier to pick out people you might form real friendships with. Also seconding/thirding/fourthing suggestions of different activities, meetup.com etc. if you didn't try that last time you were here.

    And as for the dilemma of being single... there's nothing wrong with wanting a romantic relationship. Don't let anyone patronise you or dismiss that desire as silly or desperate or 'there's more to life than a relationship'. It's clear that's not your sole focus here. Anyway. Being single can be (though doesn't have to be) lonely, especially without close friends or family around you. If it's important for you at 26 to prioritise a future that includes a partner, children, etc. that's totally valid. It isn't easy to find someone within the transient westerner/expat pool (if that's the only place you're looking), but I know people who have done it. It's not impossible!

    Ultimately, you know yourself best. And if you do choose to move to Hong Kong a second time, you will figure out ways to get what and where you want. Good luck!

    Natfixit, FuwOo and shri like this.

  9. #99

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    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyHairy:
    I have the opposite problem here; everyone wants to be my friend...I often find myself almost deliberately showing disinterest to people who are obviously reaching out for friendship...a.) I don't have time for any new friends. b.) I don't really like people.

    We had a new teacher start a few weeks ago at a school I teach at...she keeps asking me stuff, you know, what am I up to on the weekend, what restaurants I like, etc, small talk...I keep making a point of answering her and then letting the silence of me not reciprocating the question hang in the air the way bricks don't...but there she is again with her smiles and wave and her unsolicited opinions and unwelcome noise.

    Same with mountain biking...do I want to ride with so and so this weekend? Do I fuck. I go mountain biking to spend time with trees...trees, okay?

    And no...I don't want to go do a bbq...not unless I can eat and leave...bbqs cost between 3 and 4 hours...that's a loop of Tai Lam Chung, a bit of a strum on the guitar, a swim with the dog and a game of UNO with the the kids.

    This is why I like my club...I go, I leave...on my terms.
    Life is hard when you look like G Clooney right
    ?
    DirtyHairy likes this.

  10. #100

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tamsin89:
    Hi, so not sure whether I'll get any replies but I need to put this out there to the expat community!

    I'm 26, female, single, from London and am considering moving back to HK.

    I moved to HK mid-2015 with a view to stay for at least 2 years. I was classic expat - living on Robinson Rd, working in Central and loving it. But my company shut down operations and I decided to come back to London in Spring this year. Fast forward to now, and I may be offered a job again in HK. The job is amazing, firm is amazing, but I am SO worried about coming back to the hedonistic world that is the HK expat community...

    I think HK is an easy place to be independent. But its also an extremely lonely place too. And you fill the lonely hours with drinking with people you barely know in Soho. Making friends is easy enough, but people come and go so often that you cant get too attached, even when you really want to.

    If you have a significant other, then at least you are not alone. But I am single! My big fear is that now I'm edging towards my late-20s, I want to think more about the future - marriage/kids etc. BUT, HK is so not the place to maintain a relationship, let alone start one from scratch! I think single guys in their 20s/30s have a lot of fun, but for women its a different story. (In fact, most of my single female expat friends I made during my time in HK are starting to leave too.)

    Anyone out there have thoughts on these - the friend situation or the dilemma of being single?
    Friends come and go - thanks to the internet it's easier than ever to keep in contact with them.

    I truly believe that HK as a city is what you make of it - no different that London or New York in that regard. When a city offers so many choices, your decisions will shape how you experience the city. When I first moved to Hong Kong I never said no - I hung out with expats and locals and drank all week. I grew bored of it.

    Over the past few years I decided to transition my life back to what it was before I moved to Hong Kong. The balance I had at home between entertainment and other stuff was just better. So I wake up earlier and go to the gym like I used to. I cook food my own meals, hold house parties, etc. just as I did back home. I go out for dinner, bars, karaoke, etc. on occasion but am not afraid to turn down event that I'm not interested in. I moved to an apartment that best resembles an apartment in the downtown of my hometown. Don't get me wrong, I moved to HK because some aspects are better than my hometown - balancing my life has made me as happy as I have ever been.

    Of course, making close friends is important too. If the people that you meet in HK aren't going to stay, perhaps you should continue to expand your circle until you find those that will and see whether you're compatible. 2 buddies and I each make an effort to meet up at least once a week to decompress over darts. We aren't work mates, school mates, or anything of that sort. We're just friends of friends who decided that we enjoy hanging out with each other, sharing problems, and spouting BS.

    Being single in HK is a temporary thing imo - very hard to stay single when you're meeting like minded people who you like. Meet the right crowds of people and you certainly won't stay single for long.
    TheBrit, shri and z754103 like this.

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