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  1. #1

    please comment on it

    Dear all

    i am a high school student and prepare for HKCEE next year, i am poor without enough money to attend any private tutorial schools. So if you dun mind, plz be my online tutor

    the following passage is written by me, can you guys comment it or correct it. i really dun mind any critics. i am suck at english. plz help me out

    Today, I have a funny and memorable event that is worth to record for recollecting the pleasant flavor of it in the future. This matter happened at night-time and the scene is situated in the kitchen. I am requested by Mrs. Panda to dry the clothes together. When she walks in to the kitchen and opens the cover of a washing machine. She scare me with suddenly scream due to seeing a cockroach climbing around. She drops the clothes frighteningly as well as swiftly and run away from kitchen. She orders me to catch the cockroach Although I do not see anything there when she asked me to kill it, but she insisted there is a cockroach. I know if I can not eliminate or show her the cockroach corpse. She will never give up and return to peaceful. So I rally my courage and take a bold step to shake the washing machine in order to let the cockroach running out. But unfortunately, nothing out from there and suddenly there are a lot of ideas come to my mind. I go to the toilet and reel some towel, then return to the scene, I pretend I am seeing the cockroach and shake the washing machine for making some noise in shake for letting Mrs Panda believe me that I am doing something to catch the cockroach. I use the towel to pick up the dust, around 2 cm length and 0.3cm width, on the floor, and pack it. Afterward, I come out from the kitchen and shout that “hey I catch the cockroach successfully”, and show her a little bit in a very short moment, then I rush to the toilet. HAHAHA, she trusts me completely without any doubts. It is so hard to stifle my laughter.


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    42

    hope this helps...smart of you to come here and get someone to proofread for you haha

    Today, I had a funny and memorable experience that is worth remembering. It happened at night in the kitchen. I was asked by Mrs. Panda to dry the clothes in the dryer. When she walked into the kitchen and opened the door of the washing machine, she scared me with a sudden scream because she saw a cockroach. Frightened, she dropped the clothes quickly ran from the kitchen. She ordered me to catch the cockroach. Although I did not see anything there, she insisted there was a cockroach. I knew that if I did not kill the cockroach and show it to her, she would not keep quiet about it. So I gathered my courage and boldly shook the washing machine to try to get the cockroach out. Unfortunately, nothing came out. But I got an idea. I went to the toilet to get some toilet paper and went back to the washing machine. I pretended to see the cockroach and I shook the washing machine to make Mrs Panda think I was trying to catch it. Instead of picking up the cockroach with the toilet paper, I picked up some dust, came out of the kitchen and shouted “hey I caught the cockroach". I showed her the toilet paper really quickly so she would think the cockroach was in it, then I rushed to the toilet. HAHAHA, she trusted me completely and thought that I had caught the cockroach. It was so hard to stifle my laughter.


  3. #3

    Thanks for your generous helping in correcting my passage and hope you can keep on giving me suggestions so that i can boost up my english level.


  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    In the Lair of the Village Idiot's Apprenctice
    Posts
    3,385

    It was a dark and windy night
    Mrs Panda carrying an armful of wet clothes asked me to open the dryer in the kitchen.
    She spotted a roach, dropped the clothes, and fled while screaming for me to kill the insect.
    I could not see any cockroach so pretended to catch it, so as not to upset Mrs P further.
    It is getting drker and stormier.


  5. #5

    wow...kombuchakid...you provide alternative writing methods, although it is short, but some wording quiet uncommon in use that i can accumlate the variety of words..thanks you


  6. #6

    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    23,217

    Do they still teach précis in schools these days?


  7. #7

    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Darkside
    Posts
    1,589

    That biatch asked me to help do the washing. So I went to the kitchen - she's moaning on about some insect. How they do - asking me to help - moaning about some darn insect. Help and moan, help and moan. So I made to get rid of the problem - that darn insect & make her happy. The insect never hurt me never - never asked for help - never moaned.
    So she's dead now.






    Well OK - didn't really stick to the rules.