Like Tree101Likes

What happens if you get HK girl pregnant

Closed Thread
Page 3 of 11 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... LastLast
  1. #21

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Tuen Mun
    Posts
    6,191
    Quote Originally Posted by carang:

    so, maybe the question you should be asking her is: when did you last have your period? ....don't know if she'll answer it or not though.
    She'll be too busy choosing colours for the nursery mate..

  2. #22

    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    314
    Quote Originally Posted by bryant.english:
    Yeah probably, I guess there'll be a pill or an app for everything pretty soon and nobody will have to bother with that nuisance 'responsibility' anymore..
    I find your tone arrogant and cold, and like a man trying to appear like he is a feminist.

    Do you not ever experience the overtaking of passion, when the man will make a passionate entry into a women and then an untended release? This is human instinct - the women instinct is to attract a man, flirt with him, and to have him ultimately inside her. You cannot deny that. The man instinct of course is to do that to her too. It cannot always be so planned and calculated, especially after drinking, the atmosphere of foreigners and local girls in Lang Kwai Fong, and so on. If everyone thought so logically we would be robots, not humans.

    The point is, he has posted his concern and situation because he wants a solution. And the things your are saying sound like a feminist or a strict father "you have done it and now you need to suffer the consequences".

    How about some compasison and help him with a solution. I am sure he is not the only one who has experienced this. As I have said, I am sure it happens quite regularly in Hong Kong in this "work hard play hard" environment and there are many many men put into this situation. We should encourage him to speak to her, and to make a joint decision to have her take the morning after pill as soon as he can.
    ricdan and dizzydancer2005 like this.

  3. #23

    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    32

    btw, if finally turns out a kid, what will be your plan ?


  4. #24

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    4,043
    Quote Originally Posted by bryant.english:
    What a lovely world we live in:

    Pregnancy = 'accident', 'a thing my future needs to be protected from' , 'a situation that needs to be solved'.
    The guy asked a legit question. I am sure he is NOT the first amongst us to have sex like that and not ask if she is on the pill. While I got lucky compared to many of my friends bad decisions are made and both of them made one together so why not ask her to take a preventative measure like the morning after pill. It is not just for him, but for her and any potential child as it can't be good for a kid to be born to a dad who doesn't want the child.

    Rather than attack the guy and judge him it seems preferable to help him with his options especially if the girl friend is not as interested in him in a solution. There are some girls out there who honestly believe that the first time they have sex they cannot get pregnant.
    Dreadnought likes this.

  5. #25

    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    14,414
    Quote Originally Posted by Spanish:
    btw, if finally turns out a kid, what will be your plan ?
    Skip town and leave her holding the baby?

    Force her to have an abortion?

    Man up and support her through whatever she decides.

    Those are your options and i really hope its the latter not the former two.

  6. #26

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    tung chung, hong kong
    Posts
    338

    No. it's not a perfect world.
    I know of people who will take advantage of others and I know personally of women who have misled a guy a then held him responsible for bringing up a child that he didn't want to bring into this not perfect world.
    The best way to bring a child up is for 2 loving co-operating parents to work together. Not one deceiving the other.
    Both made a mistake, both have to work it out.

    jimbo, Skyhook, Football16 and 2 others like this.

  7. #27

    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    992
    Quote Originally Posted by carang:
    AFAIK it must be prescribed by a dr, not over the counter
    Lots of pharmacies around MK have the morning after pill and every other drug on tap. Whats the risk of buying these pills? End up buying duds/wrongly self medicate?

  8. #28

    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    14,414
    Quote Originally Posted by Football16:
    The guy asked a legit question. I am sure he is NOT the first amongst us to have sex like that and not ask if she is on the pill.
    Not the first and won't be the last and safe sex should be a joint thing not just relying or expecting the girl to be on the pill. Its just like those selfish barstewards that don't like wearing a condom because it dulls the sensation hence expect the girl to be on the pill or promise they'll pull out in time.

  9. #29

    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Kowloon Tong
    Posts
    282

    You specifically asked for a legal response to your situation ...

    One obvious option is for you to now propose marriage to your girlfriend, which proposal, if accepted, will lead to a legally binding contract of a kind often relied upon in these situations. You may think you're too young to be a parent, but I assume you are of marriageable age. (None of us is ever really ready to be a parent, even if the mechanics involved can be mastered at a relatively young age.)

    Whether your girlfriend becomes pregnant or not, you will by this means have taken your relationship with her to the most robust legal level possible. The again, this could work against you if your interest in her does not extend to this level just yet, in which case you'll have a headache backing out later. It sounds like you could want this even less than her actually having your baby.

    If your girlfriend does become pregnant, you could persuade her to abort the fetus. That will take away "the problem" (with very little inconvenience to you personally when compared to your girlfriend's inevitable traumas). But this course of action will likely create many other problems, not least of which is a potential contravention of the law (I'm not an expert on the law of abortion in HK, nor on whether persuading/forcing someone to have an abortion is itself unlawful).

    This scenario will only apply if you cannot achieve your implied goal through your girlfriend taking a morning after pill, either at your insistence or by her own choice. I'll assume that such actions would prove effective medically, though this may not be guaranteed. I have no idea whether persuading/forcing someone to take such a pill could be unlawful.

    If your girlfriend becomes pregnant, she could choose to go ahead and have the baby. If paternity is proven or if you concede this point, you will probably have some obligation, possibly legal but certainly moral, to support the child.

    Of course, you could try to avoid this "burden" by skilfully avoiding the woman in the future and hoping things cool down so you can get back on with whatever you do and she can do her best with the situation she finds herself in. The difficulty here is if this isn't practicable (she's a workmate, for instance) or you simply feel you just have to be with her.

    I have not considered you taking over the primary role of raising the baby yourself given your stated concerns over your capabilities as a new father.

    If your girlfriend becomes pregnant, she could choose to go ahead and have the baby and you could step in and, short of marriage, provide all the financial support, moral strength, loyalty and affection you feel able to provide. There may be a legal benchmark that applies in some of these areas, but you should feel free to go beyond that given this child will be your own flesh and blood.

    This could be part of a de facto relationship if the legal robustness of marriage does not appeal. Be aware, however, that without an institutionalised contractual base like marriage, initiating a de facto relationship solely because your girlfriend became pregnant with your child could create serious tensions later on in the relationship and cause big problems for the child. Convincing yourself that a de facto relationship is the same as marriage in this context may underestimate the institutional power of marriage. This is one of the reasons why many non-heterosexual unions covet marriage.

    If your girlfriend doesn't become pregnant, then you're home free, subject of course to the nervous anxiety you are presently suffering. If recollection of my undergrad tort law lectures is correct, you could actually sue your girlfriend for causing you this suffering - and I suppose she might be able to do the same to you.

    You (and your girlfriend) are in a tough situation and you don't need me or anyone else to tell you that life is complicated, and that we get into situations like this because we stuff up or simply don't think about the consequences of what we do.

    Hopefully, this will be an incredible learning experience; if not in how to become a father before you feel ready, then at least in how not to combine drinking with your romantic relationships.

    All the best. Who knows, this might turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. Seriously.

    Last edited by John Doe Jr; 17-04-2011 at 11:47 AM.

  10. #30

    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    32
    Quote Originally Posted by jimbo:
    Skip town and leave her holding the baby?

    Force her to have an abortion?

    Man up and support her through whatever she decides.

    Those are your options and i really hope its the latter not the former two.



    This is exactly what i want to bring up. Be responsible. And you become a perfect man. Not sure if i have missed any post, may i ask how old is immortalz

Closed Thread
Page 3 of 11 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... LastLast