Americans are a bean-eating people, and we have been blessed by an abundance of beans throughout our great history. Our country was founded by men and women who loved their beans almost as much as their Creator. Many have even given their lives for the freedom to eat beans.
Look, I've known the Bush Brothers for years and I'm fortunate to count Jay and Duke among my friends. Jay is a good man, a bean-growing man who has played a large role in making our nation a more hopeful and caring place.
NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim Bush's Beans to be the official bean of the United States of America. I encourage all Americans to gather together in their homes and places of worship with family, friends, and loved ones to eat Bush's Beans, and celebrate in an appropriate manner. May God continue to bless our beans.